Index to Quotations - by Author Name (With First Lines)



        Edward Abbey [Edward Paul Abbey](1927-1989)
               See one Grand Canyon, you've seen 'em all.

        Jane Ace (1897-1974)
               Time wounds all heels.

        Lord Acton [John Dalberg-Acton, 1st Baron Acton](1834-1902)
               Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

        Douglas Adams (1952-2001)
               First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to
               Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
               In the beginning I was made. I didn't ask to me made, no one consulted
               Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe
               Life is wasted on the living.
               The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
               That is really amazing. . . . That really is truly amazing.
               There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning

        Henry B. Adams [Henry Brooks Adams](1838-1918)
               Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.
               No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are
               Philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
               A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.

        Joey Adams (1911-1999)
               The difference with playing the stock market and the horses is that one of
               If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are
               A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for

        John Adams (1735-1826)
               The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere
               This would be the best of all possible worlds

        Mike Adams
               Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.

        Samuel Adams (1722-1803)
               If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude
               It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless

        Stuart Adamson [William Stuart Adamson](1958-2001)
               Like a flower in some forest that the world will never see,

        Joseph Addison (1672-1719)
               One should take good care not to grow too wise

        George Ade (1866-1944)
               Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
               Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

        Alfred Adler (1870-1937)
               It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

        Freda Adler (born 1934)
               Stripped of ethical rationalizations and philosophical pretensions, a

        Kurt Herbert Adler (1905-1988)
               Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the

        Richard P. Adler (born mid-XXth century)
               All television is children's television.

        Roy Adzak (1927-1987)
               Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us.

        Αισωπος [Aesop](c.620-564 BCE)
               Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
               Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
               A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.
               The injury we do and the one we suffer are not weighed in the same scale.
               We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
               We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

        Ferrik Aetas
               Austerity is simply a form of conformity.

        Afranius [Lucius Afranius](I century BCE)
               The wise man will love; all others will desire.

        African Proverb
               He who runs after good fortune
               A miserly man is like a fattened ox:
               Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
               When you take away (or threaten) a man's values and

        Louis Agassiz [Jean Louis Rodolphe Agassiz](1807-1873)
               Every great scientific truth goes through three stages:

        Αγαϑων [Agathon](c.448-400 BCE)
               Even God cannot change the past.

        Spiro Agnew [Spiro Theodore Agnew](1918-1996)
               If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all.

        Howard Aiken [Howard Hathaway Aiken](1900-1973)
               Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good,

        John Aikin (1747-1822)
               To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor's prohibited list.

        Amos Bronson Alcott (1799-1888)
               The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal

        Henry Mills Alden (1836-1919)
               The prime object of the school is to awaken the mind

        Brian Aldiss [Brian Wilson Aldiss](born 1925)
               Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and
               When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter

        Brian W. Aldiss [Brian Wilson Aldiss](born 1925)
               When childhood dies, it's corpses are called adults and they enter society,

        attributed to Sholom Aleichem [Salomon Naumovich Rabinovich](1859-1916)
               The dying is easy.

        Shana Alexander (1925-2005)
               The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous.

        Charles Aleyn (1580-1640)
               The fine and noble way to destroy a foe is not to kill him;

        Dean Alfange (1897-1989)
               A Creed for Young America

        Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)
               Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
               Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho' we are not now that strength

        Nelson Algren (1909-1981)
               Never play cards with a man called Doc;

        Muhammad Ali [Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr](born 1942)
               I ain't got no quarrel with the Vietcong . . . No Vietcong ever called me

        Dante Alighieri [Durante degli Alighieri](c.1265-1321)
               The hottest places in hell are reserved for whose who, in a period of moral
               There is no greater sorrow than to recall,

        Saul Alinsky [Saul David Alinsky](1909-1972)
               Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.

        Chris Allen (born mid-XXth century)
               Moderation in all things, including moderation.

        Fred Allen (1894-1956)
               A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become
               Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
               Most of us spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats,

        Gracie Allen
               They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.

        James Lane Allen (1849-1925)
               I have yet to encounter that common myth of weak men,

        Steve Allen [Stephen Valentine Patrick William Allen](1921-2000)
               As I argued in Beloved Son, a book about my son Brian and the
               No philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured
               You must make a choice. You must either make the attempt

        Tim Allen
               If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it.

        Woody Allen [Allen Stewart Konigsberg](born 1935)
               Death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
               The difference between sex and death is, with death you can
               Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.
               Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
               He's] a politician. You know the ethics those guys have. It's like
               The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things.
               I am plagued by doubts. What if everything is an illusion and nothing
               I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve
               If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit
               Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
               It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.
               It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
               The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
               Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises
               More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path
               Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
               Sex between a man and a woman can be a wonderful thing . . .
               To you I'm an atheist; to God I'm the Loyal Opposition.
               Why does man kill? He kills for food.

        John Allston
               If you don't control your mind, someone else will.

        American proverb
               Words must be weighed, not counted.

        Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-1881)
               Doing easily what others find difficult is talent;
               Order means light and peace, inward liberty and free command
               Time and space are fragments of the infinite for the use of finite

        Kingsley Amis (1922-1995)
               It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as

        Cleveland Amory (1917-1998)
               There are three terrible ages of childhood: 1 to 10, 10 to 20,

        Tori Amos (born 1963)
               And my heart is sick of being in chains.

        Joe Ancis (born early-XXth century)
               The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

        Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
               And I, the man, stood looking at the tree and at the little green
               Eighty percent of our criminals come from unsympathetic homes.
               So the Emperor went in procession under the rich canopy, and every one

        Jeremy S. Anderson (born c.1969)
               There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.

        Maya Angelou [Marguerite Ann Johnson](born 1928)
               Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be
               People don't mature. They crystallize at about
               We must meet many defeats,

        Edward Anhalt (1914-2000)
               It is inelegant for conquerors to be late.

        Paul Anka (born 1941)
               I'm just a lonely boy, lonely and blue.

        Anonymous
               The biggest detractors of communism and socialism always seem to want to
               Chastity is curable, if detected early.
               Dont lose your head
               Every age has its myths and calls them higher truths.
               Hodie
               If you can't do, teach. If you can't teach, teach phys-ed.
               It's always nice to see USA set the edgy standards.
               A million here, a million there -- pretty soon it begins to add up to real
               The most important single thing a person can leave for posterity
               Must there be a permanent and necessary divorce
               The prosecutor declared that a citizen may snore with immunity
               Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
               When A Father Prays (full text)
               The world is filled with fools. They blindly follow their

        Anonymous lawyer at a litigation seminar
               I can't put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but I can sue the

        anonymous Navy Pilot
               I regret that I only have one life to give for my country.

        anonymous Usenet user
               Manually managing blocks of memory in C is like juggling bars of soap in a

        Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)
               I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do
               Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God.

        Minna Antrim [Minna Thomas Antrim](1861-1950)
               To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction.

        Apache [Native American] proverb
               It makes no difference as to the name of the God, since Love is the real

        St Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)
               HOMINEM UNIUS LIBRI TIMEO [I fear the man of one book.]

        Arab proverb
               Examine what is said, not him who speaks.

        Diane Arbus [Diane Nemerov](1923-1971)
               Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and
               Once you photograph somebody, they stay with you forever.

        John Arbuthnot (1667-1735)
               All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies.

        Marcel Archard (1899-1974)
               Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

        Archibald Putt, Ph.D.
               Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who

        Mark Ardis (born mid-XXth century)
               One Page Principle: A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11

        Hannah Arendt [Johanna Arendt](1906-1975)
               Love, by its very nature, is unworldly, and it is for this reason rather
               The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their
               There are no dangerous thoughts; thinking itself is dangerous.

        Αριστοτελης [Aristotle](384-322 BCE)
               Arguing with a man who will not produce evidence in support of his position
               The gods too are fond of a joke.
               It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
               Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for
               We make war that we may live in peace.
               What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
               Wit is cultured insolence.
               Wit is educated insolence.
               The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.

        Richard Armour (1906-1989)
               It's all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and

        Neil Armstrong (1930-2012)
               I believe that every human being has a finite number of heartbeats
               That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

        Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)
               Culture is the ability to recognize the best in others.

        Raymond Aron [Raymond-Claude-Ferdinand Aron](1905-1983)
               What passes for optimism is most often the effect on an intellectual error.

        Jean Arp [Hans Arp](1886-1966)
               Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on

        Angeles Arrien (born 1940)
               All spiritual paths have four steps: show up, pay attention,

        Antonin Artaud [Antoine Marie Joseph Artaud](1896-1948)
               There are souls that are incurable and are lost to society. If you

        Arthur Trewby, M.A. (1880-1915)
               Except for the purpose of washing them, you must not handle your

        Arthur Robert Ashe Jr (1943-1993)
               Success is a journey, not a destination.

        Asian proverb
               Do you need proof of God? Does one light a torch to see the sun?

        Isaac Asimov [Isaak Yudovich Ozimov](1920-1992)
               Humanity has the stars in its future, and that future is too important
               Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
               The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
               Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
               Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently

        Les Aspin [Leslie Aspin Jr](1938-1995)
               If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will

        H.H. Asquith [Herbert Henry Asquith, 1st Earl of Oxford and Asquith, KG, PC, KC](1852-1928)
               Keep always with you, wherever your course may lie,

        often attributed to St Francis of Assisi (c.1182-1226)
               Lord, make me and instrument of Thy peace!

        Assyrian stone tablet, c.2800 BCE
               The Earth is degenerate in these latter days; there are signs that

        George Atkins (born 1929)
               Eenie meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.

        Mark Atkinson
               In headlines today, the dreaded killfile virus spread across the country

        Rowan Atkinson (born 1955)
               I had a strange thought the other day that I feel as though I'm probably a

        A.A. Attanasio (born 1951)
               The madness of demons is rage -- the madness of angels, hope.

        Margaret Atwood [Margaret Eleanor Atwood, CC OOnt FRSC](born 1939)
               History isn't dry, it's sticky; it can get all over your hands.

        W.H. Auden [Wystan Hugh Auden](1907-1973)
               Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but
               Ruffle the perfect manners of the frozen heart,
               To save your world you asked this man to die.

        St Augustine of Hippo (354-430)
               Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a pirate.
               Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
               Give me chastity, but not yet.
               Give to every man, but not every thing.
               What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I

        John August [John Meise](born 1970)
               The best kind of prize is a surprise.

        Marcus Aurelius (121-180 CE)
               Do not forget:

        Sextus Aurelius [Sextus Aurelius Victor](c.320-c.390 CE)
               Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

        Jane Austen (1775-1817)
               I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of

        Sam Austin
               Homosexuality is God's way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren't

        Dan Aykroyd (born 1952)
               Elwood: It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've

        Charles Babbage (1791-1871)
               Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all.

        Maltbie Davenport Babcock (1858-1901)
               Our business in life is not to get

        Dick Babington (born mid-XXth century)
               We ask that you be with us as we work

        Roger Babson (1875-1967)
               If things go wrong, don't go with them.

        Richard Bach (born 1936)
               Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.

        Francis Bacon [Sir Francis Bacon, 1st Viscount St Albans, KC](1561-1626)
               Certainly, in taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy,
               Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
               There is superstition in avoiding superstition.

        Walter Bagehot (1826-1877)
               The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
               It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without
               The reason why so few good books are written is that
               You may talk of the tyranny of Nero and Tiberius; but the real tyranny is

        Andrew Bailey
               I found this very offensive. And so does my boner.

        Niall Baird
               Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a pipe bomb a rather drastic way of

        Bob Baker [Robert Baker](born 1939)
               Interfere? Of course we should interfere!
               There's more than one way to cook a cat.

        David Baker (born 1944)
               Proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the

        Jane Baker
               Seventh Doctor: Time and tide melts the snowman.

        Laura Baker
               Don't dare to be different, dare to be yourself -

        Robert A. Baker [Robert Allen Baker Jr](1921-2005)
               Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,

        Russell Baker (born 1925)
               The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to
               Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major
               People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people

        George Balanchine [Giorgi Melitonovitch Balanchivadze](1904-1983)
               Old people don't get tired -- it's only the young who tire.

        James Baldwin (1924-1987)
               Be careful what you set your heart upon -- for it will surely be yours.
               Everything now, we must assume, is in our hands.
               The future is like heaven -- everyone exalts it, but no one wants
               Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart;
               To be black and conscious in America is to be in a constant state of rage.

        Alan Ball (born 1957)
               Men are like linoleum. You lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for

        George Bancroft (1800-1891)
               The best government rests on the people and not on the few,

        Tallulah Bankhead [Tallulah Brockman Bankhead](1902-1968)
               It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
               Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

        Janette Barber (born 1953)
               When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away.

        John Perry Barlow (born 1947)
               On the Internet, the First Amendment is a local ordinance

        Clive Barnes (1927-2008)
               Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the first culture

        Jeanne C. Barney (born mid-XXth century)
               Continue to love your child, and realize that there is nothing

        Mike Baron (born mid-XXth century)
               You know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks,

        Donald Barr (1921-2004)
               The most concrete experience a child can have

        Roseanne Barr [Roseanne Cherrie Barr](born 1952)
               People say to me, "You're not feminine."

        J M. Barrie [James Matthew Barrie](1860-1937)
               Heaven has the better climate, but hell has the better company.
               I'm not young enough to know everything.

        J.M. Barrie [James Matthew Barrie](1860-1937)
               Nothing is really work unless you would rather
               Nothing that happens after we are twelve matters very much.
               To die will be an awfully big adventure.
               We should be slower to think that the man at his worst is the
               Your heart is as fresh as your face; and that is well. The useless men are

        Dave Barry (born 1947)
               Albert Einstein . . . discovered that a tiny amount of
               If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment
               The Internet is the most important single development in the history
               A printer consists of three main parts: the case,
               The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability
               Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes

        Philip Barry [Philip James Quinn Barry](1896-1949)
               love: Two minds without a single thought.

        Wendell Barry (born 1934)
               A man who produces a fact or an idea has not completed his responsibility

        John Barrymore (1882-1942)
               Love is that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and
               One of my chief regrets during my years in the theater is that

        Bruce Barton (1886-1967)
               When you're through changing

        Marge Barton (fl. mid-XXth century)
               Man is never made of any color

        R.S. Barton (born mid-XXth century)
               Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.

        Bernard Baruch (1870-1965)
               Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

        Charles Baudelaire [Charles Pierre Baudelaire](1821-1867)
               What is irritating about love is that it is a crime that requires an

        Peter S. Beagle [Peter Soyer Beagle](born 1939)
               What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?

        Charles A. Beard (1874-1948)
               One of the best ways to get yourself a reputation
               You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a

        Cecil Beaton (1904-1980)
               Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control

        Pierre Beaumarchais [Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais](1732-1799)
               Aujourd'hui ce qui ne vaut pas la peine d'être dit, on le chante.

        Lord Beaverbrook [William Maxwell "Max" Aitken, 1st Baron Beaverbrook, Bt, PC, ONB](1879-1964)
               Buy old masters. They fetch a better price than old mistresses.

        Kent Beck (born 1961)
               Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming;

        Sir Thomas Beecham (1879-1961)
               Drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.
               A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it.

        Rev Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887)
               Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature
               Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone
               Now comes the mystery.
               Our daily duties are a part of our religious life just as much
               There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
               The truest self-respect is not to think of self.
               When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already
               When is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

        Ludwig von Beethoven (1770-1827)
               Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.

        Brendan Behan [Brendan Francis Behan](1923-1964)
               At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning
               Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've
               The most important things to do in this world are to get something to eat,

        Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922)
               Speak little of difficulties; they involve your own
               When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long

        Francis Bellamy [Francis Julius Bellamy](1855-1931)
               I pledge allegiance to my flag and [to] the Republic for which it stands,

        Saul Bellow (1915-2005)
               Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf

        Robert Benchley [Robert Charles Benchley](1889-1945)
               It took me 15 years to discover I had no talent for writing, but

        Harry Bender [George Harrison Bender](1896-1961)
               Imagine the appeals,

        Stephen Vincent Benét (1898-1943)
               We don't know where we're going, but we're on our way.

        Walter Benjamin [Walter Bendix Schoenflies Benjamin](1892-1940)
               Leben heißt Spuren zu hinterlassen. (To live means to leave traces.)

        Oleta Albertson Benn (1904-1991)
               If I were a child of about eight years old, at dinner tonight

        Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)
               Make love to every woman you meet; if you get 5% on your

        Warren G. Bennis (born 1925)
               The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog.

        Jon Bentley [Jon Louis Bentley](born 1953)
               People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.

        Edgar Bergen (1903-1978)
               Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

        Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)
               Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

        Ellen Perry Berkeley (born 1931)
               As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

        L.V. Berkner [Dr Lloyd Viel Berkner](1905-1967)
               Human society -- man in a group -- rises out of its lethargy to new levels

        Hector Berlioz [Louis Hector Berlioz](1803-1869)
               Le temps est un grand maître, dit-on; le malheur est qu'il soit

        Edward Bernays [Edward Louis Bernays](1891-1995)
               The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and

        Eric Berne (1910-1970)
               We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs.

        Yogi Berra [Lawrence Peter Berra](born 1925)
               Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
               You can observe a lot just by watchin'.
               You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because

        John Betjeman (1906-1984)
               Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights

        Lord Beveridge [William Henry Beveridge, 1st Baron Beveridge KCB](1879-1963)
               Ignorance is an evil weed, which dictators may cultivate among their dupes,

        Barry L. Beyerstein (1947-2007)
               Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary proof. There are many examples
               In arguing that current theories of brain function cast suspicion on ESP,
               Prevalent beliefs that knowledge can be tapped from previous incarnations

        Jello Biafra [Eric Reed Boucher](born 1958)
               What kind of cartoon tabloid society are we living in when the archvillain

        Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce](1842-1914)
               Academy (n.): A modern school where football is taught.
               Admiration (n.): Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
               Adolescent (n.): Recovering from boyhood.
               Ambidextrous (adj.): Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket
               Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an
               Beauty (n.): the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies
               Belladonna (n.): In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
               Belladonna (n.): In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison.
               Bigot (n.): One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion
               Bore (n.): a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
               Brain (n.): An apparatus with which we think that we think.
               But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be
               Childhood (n.): The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of
               Conservative (n): a statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as
               The covers of this book are too far apart.
               Cynic (n): a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
               Education (n.): That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the
               Egotist (n.): a person more interested in himself than in me.
               Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our
               The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable
               History (n.): An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant,
               Inventor (n.): A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels,
               Litigation (n.): A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of
               Mad (adj.): Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
               Marriage (n.): The state or condition of a community consisting of a
               Noncombatant (n.): a dead Quaker.
               Politeness (n.): The most acceptable hypocrisy.
               Pray (v.): To ask the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a
               Quotation (n.): The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
               Speak when you are angry and you will make the greatest speech you
               Spring beckons! All things to the call respond;
               What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
               Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without

        Stephen Biko (1946-1977)
               The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the

        Josh Billings [Henry Wheeler Shaw](1818-1885)
               Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

        Arthur M. Binstead (1861-1914)
               The most serious doubt that has been thrown on the authenticity of the

        Βιων [Bion of Borysthenes](c.325-c.250 BCE)
               Boys throw rocks at the frogs in fun, but the frogs do not die in fun,

        Augustine Birrell (1850-1933)
               Friendship is a word, the very sight of which in print

        Otto von Bismarck [Otto Eduard Leopold, Prince of Bismarck, Duke of Lauenburg](1815-1898)
               A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
               People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an
               Universal suffrage is the government of a house by its nursery.

        Jerome Bixby (1923-1998)
               Four thousand throats may be cut in one night by a running man.

        Diana R. Black (born mid-XXth century)
               Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.

        Hugh Black (1868-1953)
               We may not be master of our daily work, but we are at least

        Lewis Black [Lewis Niles Black](born 1948)
               It's beyond belief! The baby boomers fucked up everything that was given
               The Super Bowl] destroyed the game [of football]. They stop for two
               There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. But they couldn't

        Shane Black (born 1961)
               What's the weather like on your planet?

        Bryan Blackburn (1928-2004)
               Venice . . . the only town in Europe to have found a way to keep

        William Blake (1757-1827)
               Abstinence sows sand all over
               As the catterpiller [sic] chooses the fairest leaves
               Better murder an infant in its cradle than nurse an unacted desire.
               Children of the future age
               Eternity
               I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's; I will not
               Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.
               The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

        Robert Bloch [Robert Albert Bloch](1917-1994)
               Mind your own business, Mr Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed

        Roy Blount Jr (born 1941)
               Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the

        Ed Bluestone (born mid-XXth century)
               The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money.

        Len Blum (born 1951)
               We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans.

        William Blum (born 1933)
               A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but can't afford an air force.

        Wilfred Scawen Blunt (1840-1922)
               Imprisonment is a reality of discipline most useful to the

        Don Bluth (born 1937)
               Jenner: I've learned this much: take what you can, when you can.

        John Wayne Bobbitt (born 1967)
               I don't have any hard feelings.

        Andy Bobrow (born mid-XXth century)
               Reese: I just stopped thinking. I figured out that using my brain

        Ludwig Börne [Karl Ludwig Börne/Loeb Baruch](1786-1837)
               Only the suppressed word is dangerous.
               True courage is not only a balloon for rising, but also

        Henry George Bohn (1796-1884)
               Experience is the mother of science.

        Niels Bohr [Niels Henrik David Bohr](1885-1962)
               An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made,
               A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.
               Two sorts of truth: profound truths recognized by the fact that the
               We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

        W.E.B. Du Bois [William Edward Burghardt Du Bois](1868-1963)
               The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression.

        Erma Bombeck [Erma Louise Bombeck](1927-1996)
               I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've
               In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on
               Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
               One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest
               To my way of thinking, the American family started to decline when

        Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
               Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
               In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
               In war as in love, to bring matters to a close, you must
               A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.
               Never interfere with an enemy while he is in the process of
               Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet.
               Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
               Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

        Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945)
               The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

        Linwood Boomer (born 1955)
               There's this strange sense of peace that comes over you when you

        Daniel Joseph Boorstin (1914-2004)
               God is the Celebrity-Author of the World's Best Seller. We have made
               We must abandon the prevalent belief in the superior wisdom
               You must collect things for reasons you don't yet understand.

        James H. Boren (1925-2010)
               Most educators would continue to lecture on navigation while
               When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

        Nathaniel Borenstein (born 1957)
               The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,

        Victor Borge (1909-2000)
               Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

        Jorge Luis Borges [Jorge Francisco Isidoro Luis Borges Acevedo](1899-1986)
               Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build

        Max Born (1882-1970)
               The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself

        Rabbi Eugene Borowitz (born 1924)
               There is more to life than bread and cars and

        Bernadette Bosky (born mid-XXth century)
               Personifiers of the world, unite!

        T.C. Boyle [Tom Coraghessan Boyle/Thomas John Boyle](born 1948)
               Everything's absurd, because you have to die. There's no real point

        Leigh Brackett (1915-1978)
               Do, or do not. There is no "try".

        Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)
               I don't try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.

        Christopher John Bradbury Robinson (born mid-XXth century)
               It's the similarity between people

        Charles Bradlaugh (1833-1891)
               Better a thousandfold abuse of free speech than denial of free speech. The

        F.H. Bradley [Francis Herbert Bradley, OM](1846-1904)
               The secret of happiness is to admire without desiring.

        Stewart Brand (born 1938)
               Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

        Louis Dembitz Brandeis (1856-1941)
               The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of

        Georg Brandes [Georg Morris Cohen Brandes](1842-1947)
               It is useless to send armies against ideas.

        Georg Morris Cohen Brandes (1842-1927)
               It is useless to send armies against ideas.

        Berkeley Breathed [Guy Berkeley "Berke" Breathed](born 1957)
               The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work
               Like, what do they mean when they say 'feminine protection'?

        Bertolt Brecht (1898-1956)
               Grub first, then ethics.
               The law was made for one thing alone, for the exploitation of those
               There are times when you have to choose between being human and having good
               Unhappy the land that needs heroes.

        Meyer Breslau (born mid-XIXth century)
               Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation.

        Leslie Bricusse (born 1931)
               In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise,

        Ashleigh Brilliant [Ashleigh Ellwood Brilliant, Ph.D.](born 1933)
               By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely
               I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
               I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
               I take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
               I waited and waited, and when nobody called, I knew it was from you.
               If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
               Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the
               My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
               Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is.
               Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out
               To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you
               Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.

        David Brin [Glen David Brin, Ph.D.](born 1950)
               Fiery energy lanced out, but the beams struck an intangible wall between
               It's said that "power corrupts", but actually it's more

        David Brinkley (1920-2003)
               A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks

        Charlotte Brontë (1816-1855)
               The human heart has hidden treasures -- in secret kept, in silence sealed.

        Rupert Brooke [Rupert Chawner Brooke](1887-1915)
               Breathless, we flung us on a windy hill, Laughed in the sun, and kissed

        Albert Brooks (born 1947)
               Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made

        Frederick P. Brooks Jr [Fred Brooks/Frederick Phillips Brooks Jr](born 1931)
               All programmers are optimists. Perhaps this modern sorcery especially
               The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program
               How does a project get to be a year late? . . . One day at a time.
               The hypothesis:
               The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure
               The tar pit of software engineering will continue to be sticky for a long

        James L. Brooks (born 1940)
               When you see all the things you've believed in since you were a kid

        Mel Brooks (born 1926)
               Between projects I go to the park and bite the grass and wail, "Why
               Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
               Missed it by that much.

        Henry Brougham [Lord Henry Peter Brougham. 1st Baron Brougham and Vaux](1778-1868)
               Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to

        Heywood Broun [Heywood Campbell Broun Jr](1888-1939)
               The ability to make love frivolously is the chief characteristic
               Appeasers believe that if you keep on throwing steaks to a tiger, the tiger

        A. Whitney Brown [Alan Whitney Brown](born 1952)
               The truth shall set you free, but a good lie will keep you out of

        Andrew Brown (born 1964)
               The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it

        Gene Brown
               The toughest thing about raising kids is convincing them you have

        H. Jackson Brown Jr (born 1940)
               Never deprive someone of hope. It might be all they have.
               Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.
               When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer,

        Rita Mae Brown (born 1944)
               No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love.

        Sam Brown Jr (born 1943)
               Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

        Charles Farrar Browne (1834-1867)
               We wish genius and morality were affectionate companions, but it is a fact

        Dik Browne (1917-1989)
               As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a

        Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)
               Best be yourself, imperial, plain and true!
               The child's sob in the silence curses deeper than the strong man in

        Robert Browning (1812-1889)
               Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp -- or what's a heaven for?
               Every joy is gain. And gain is gain, however small.
               That's the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over,
               There may be heaven; there must be hell.

        Lenny Bruce [Leonard Alfred Schneider](1926-1966)
               It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the
               Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right

        Steven Brust [Steven Karl Zoltán Brust](born 1955)
               I used to be superstitious, but then I learned it was bad luck.
               I'm building a reputation for honesty so I can blow it on something
               No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulderblades will

        William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)
               No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

        Art Buchwald (1925-2007)
               I worship the quicksand he walks in.

        William F. Buckley Jr (1925-2008)
               All adventure is now reactionary.
               Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become

        The Buddha [Siddhartha Gautama Buddha](c.563-c.483 BCE)
               Be your own light, be your own refuge. Have no other refuge.
               Personally examine and verify by experience anything that a guru

        Buddhist wisdom
               What

        Lois McMaster Bujold (born 1949)
               If you expect to open a can of worms you'd best trouble to pack a
               The one thing you can't trade for your heart's desire is your heart.

        Henry Charles Bukowski [Heinrich Karl Bukowski](1920-1994)
               Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace
               Most of us are born geniuses and die idiots.
               Some people never go crazy.

        Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
               Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

        Rabbi Bunam of Pzhysha (1765-1827)
               Man's great guilt does not lie in the sins that he commits,

        Luis Buñuel [Luis Buñuel Portolés](1900-1983)
               God and Country are an unbeatable team;

        Luther Burbank (1849-1926)
               It is well for people who think, to change their minds occasionally

        G.B. Burgin [George Brown Burgin](1856-1944)
               It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and

        Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
               An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and
               It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and
               The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to
               To read without reflecting is like eating without digesting.

        Tom Burkhard
               Jiminy H. Crickets III Jr . . . for once in your life, take a little

        Daniel Burnham [Daniel Hudson Burnham](1846-1912)
               Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men's blood and probably

        George Burns (1896-1996)
               Don't stay in bed . . . unless you can make money in bed.

        Robert Burns (1759-1796)
               Gie me ae spark o' Nature's fire,
               O, wad some Power the giftie gie us

        William S. Burroughs [William Seward Burroughs](1914-1997)
               I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be

        Gen. Smedley Butler [Smedley Darlington Butler](1881-1940)
               I spent thirty-three years in the Marines, most of my time being a

        Nicholas Murray Butler (1862-1947)
               An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.

        Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
               All progress is based on the universal innate desire on the part of
               Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense
               It must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case.
               Marriage is distinctly and repeatedly excluded from heaven.
               Nothing is potent against love save impotence.
               Time is the only true purgatory.

        William Butler
               I used to have this happy feeling about books and about
               So, we marched. We marched up the meadow, then down the meadow,

        Robert Byrne (born 1928)
               Complete this sentence: I never met a man I didn't like. . .
               Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of
               The purpose of life is a life of purpose
               There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start

        Lord Byron [George Gordon Noel, 6th Baron Byron](1788-1824)
               The drying up a single tear has more
               He who will not reason, is a bigot; he who cannot, is a fool; and he who
               Who would be free themselves must strike the blow.

        James B. Cabell [James Branch Cabell](1879-1958)
               The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds;

        Meg Cabot [Meggin Patricia Cabot](born 1967)
               Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is

        Richard Clarke Cabot (1868-1939)
               If we find the job where we can be of use, we are hitched

        Michael Cadnum (born 1949)
               It's not the winners who write history, it's the neighbors.

        Herb Caen (1916-1997)
               The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain

        Gaius Julius Caesar (100-44 BCE)
               It is a general human weakness to allow things uncertain

        John Cage [John Milton Cage Jr](1912-1992)
               I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.

        Jeffrey Caine (born 1944)
               James Bond: It's too easy.

        Morley Callaghan (1903-1990)
               There is only one trait that marks the writer. He is always watching.

        John Calvin (1509-1564)
               For Scripture is the school of the Holy Spirit, in which, as nothing is

        John Calvin (1509-1564<)
               Nothing is too hard for him who loves.

        Dom Hélder Câmara [Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara](1909-1999)
               When I gave food to the poor, they called me a saint.

        James Cameron [James Francis Cameron](born 1954)
               Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver): I say we take off and nuke the

        Simon Cameron (1799-1889)
               An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought.

        Henry N. Camp
               Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

        Dr D.G. Campbell
               Never belive your teachers, preacher, or parents. Not necessarily in that

        Dr W. Gardner Campbell (born mid-XXth century)
               I'm not a teacher, I'm an evangelist of learning.
               It becomes so important that we don't talk about it.

        John W. Campbell [John Wood Campbell Jr](1910-1971)
               Pioneering basically amounts to finding new and more horrible ways to die.

        Joseph Campbell [Joseph John Campbell](1904-1987)
               George Lucas, in Star Wars (1977 and sequels and prequels)] has
               God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human
               A god outgrown becomes immediately a life-destroying demon.
               I've lived through the twentieth century, and I know what I was told as
               If the person doesn't listen to the demands of his own spiritual and
               It's quite possible to be so influenced by the ideals and commands
               p.140]: Desire and fear: these are the two emotions by which all life
               People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. . . .
               There is a Muslim saying, . . . "When the Angel of Death approaches,
               There's no danger in interpreting the symbols of a religious system
               The] computer . . . seems to me to be an Old Testament god with a

        Mrs Patrick Campbell [Beatrice Stella Tanner/Mrs Pat](1865-1940)
               Does it matter what these affectionate people do -- so long as they don't

        Ryan Campbell
               Commenting your code is like cleaning your bathroom -- you never want to do

        Thomas Campion (1567-1620)
               Tune thy music to thine heart

        Albert Camus (1913-1960)
               Death means nothing to men like me. It's the event that proves them right.
               I withdrew from the world not because I had enemies,
               Intellectuel = celui qui se dèdouble. Ça me plaît.
               Liberty is the right not to lie.
               Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to

        Jimmy Cannon (1909-1973)
               I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots

        Robert F. Capon [Father Robert Farrar Capon](1925-2013)
               The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of a pack of trolls.

        Al Capone [Alphonse Gabriel Capone/Al 'Scarface' Capone](1899-1947)
               Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
               I don't even know what street Canada is on.
               When I sell liquor, its called bootlegging, but when my patrons serve

        Truman Capote (1924-1984)
               Buyer: Goodness, woman, you can get another one!

        Orson Scott Card (born 1951)
               If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd
               In order to learn, one must change one's mind.
               The only people who ever prize purity of ignorance are those who profit

        Tom Cargill (born mid-XXth century)
               The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the first 90 percent of the

        George Carlin (1937-2008)
               Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
               Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper,
               Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
               Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes
               I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good
               Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
               Just cause you got the monkey off your back
               Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
               The only good thing that ever came out of religion was the music.
               There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the
               We will never be an advanced civilization as long as
               Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do

        Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)
               Be not a slave of words.
               If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.

        Dale Carnegie [Dale Breckenridge Carnagey](1888-1955)
               Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do.

        Adam Carolla [Adam Lakers Carolla](born 1964)
               There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a

        Mary Chapin Carpenter (born 1958)
               Somebody once said that they like to sing sad songs because it makes them

        Jim Carrey [James Eugene Carrey](born 1962)
               Imitation is the sincerest form of plagarism.

        Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson](1832-1898)
               But I was thinking of a plan, To dye one's whiskers green.
               Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it
               Courtesy [Curtsey] while you're thinking what to say. It saves time.
               Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.

        Rachel Carson [Rachel Louise Carson](1907-1964)
               If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the

        Jimmy Carter [James Earl Carter](born 1924)
               I will never lie to you.

        Dr Matt Cartmill
               As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,

        Phoebe Cary (1824-1871)
               And though hard be the task, "Keep a stiff upper lip."

        Roger Casement (1864-1916)
               Where all your rights have become only an accumulated wrong,

        Johnny Cash (1932-2003)
               There are those who do not imitate,

        Catullus [Gaius Valerius Catullus](c.84-c.54 BCE)
               O MISELLE PASSER

        Dick Cavett [Richard Alva Cavett](born 1936)
               As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable
               As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to

        Katherine Cebrian (born early-XXth cent)
               I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

        Louis-Ferdinand Céline [Louis Ferdinand Auguste Destouches](1894-=1961)
               The poetry of heroism appeals irresitibly to those who don't go to a war,

        Jennifer Celotta [Jennifer Ann Celotta](born 1971)
               You show me a man with pride, and I'll show you a man with

        Bennett Cerf (1898-1971)
               Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

        Zechariah Chafee Jr (1885-1957)
               Your right to swing your arms ends just where the other man's nose begins.

        Nicolas Chamfort [Sébastien-Roch Nicolas](1741-1794)
               The most utterly lost of all days, is that in which
               The only thing that stops God sending a second Flood is that the first
               A philosopher told me that, having examined the civil and political

        Raymond Chandler [Raymond Thornton Chandler](1888-1959)
               The streets were dark with something more than night.
               Television is just one more facet of that considerable segment of our

        Juan Wa Chang
               Living is change. Growth is optional.

        Dr William Ellery Channing (1780-1842)
               The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should
               Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage.

        William Henry Channing (1810-1884)
               To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury,

        Maurice Chapelain (1905-1992)
               The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

        Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
               In the end, everything is a gag.

        Graham Chapman (1941-1989)
               BBC Spokesman (on trial in court for inserting ads in
               I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and
               In a show satirizing the mediocrity of television, two matronly women --
               In accordance with our principles of free enterprise and
               Mrs Big Nose (Gwen Taylor): Oh, it's blessed are the meek. Oh,
               Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
               Recruit: If it was possible for me to have my choice, I'd prefer
               Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a

        Charles, Prince of Wales [Charles Philip Arthur George](born 1948)
               A country free enough to examine its own conscience is a land worth

        Paddy Chayefsky [Sidney Aaron Chayefsky](1923-1981)
               Television is democracy at its ugliest -- give the people what they want.

        C.J. Cherryh [Carolyn Janice Cherry] (born 1942)
               I prefer to proceed toward infallibility at my own unhurried pace.
               Cherryh's Law: No rule should be followed off a cliff.
               If you're up against a smart opponent, make him think himself

        G.K. Chesterton [Gilbert Keith Chesterton](1874-1936)
               Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
               The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies;
               Children are innocent and love justice, while most of us are wicked
               The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been
               Coincidences are spiritual puns.
               Father Brown, to Flambeau]: You attacked reason. . . . It's bad theology.
               I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
               I may not practice what I preach,
               Journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people
               The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.
               My country right or wrong" is like saying,

        Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972)
               Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim

        Lucinda Childs (born 1940)
               I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all

        Chinese proverb
               The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
               Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
               He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains
               If thy enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
               If you love somebody, let them go.
               It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the
               No individual raindrop ever considers itself responsible for the flood.
               Teachers open the door . . . You enter by yourself.

        Margaret Cho [Margaret Moran Cho](born 1968)
               If you think gay is contagious, then you're gay.

        Noam Chomsky (born 1928)
               As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action
               Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
               Resistance is feasible even for those who are not heroes by nature,

        Chuang Tzu [Zhuangzi](c.IV century BCE)
               The Great Way makes no claim to greatness.

        Winston Churchill [Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill, KG, OM, CH, TD, PCDL, FRS, Hon. RA](1874-1965)
               Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
               Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and
               The best argument against democracy is a five-minute talk with the average
               Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
               He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
               I am bored with it all.
               I hate [Nazis] because they frown when they fight. They are grim and
               I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
               If you're going through hell, keep going.
               A joke is a very serious thing.
               A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance
               Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves
               Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.
               Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but he always picked himself up
               A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
               A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist
               Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without
               There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it
               When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
               A wise man doesn't make all the mistakes himself.

        John Ciardi [John Anthony Ciardi](1916-1986)
               Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade
               A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
               You don't have to suffer to be a poet: Adolescence is enough

        Cicero [Marcus Tullius Ciceronis](106-43 BCE)
               ADOLESCENS NON MINUS BENE NUMMATUS QUAM CAPILLATUS
               Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do
               I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
               NEC ME PUDET UT ISTOS FATERI NESCIRE QUOD NESCIAM
               NEMO ENIM FERE SALTAT SOBRIUS NISI FORTE INSANIT
               There is nothing more painful than the insult to human dignity;

        E.M. Cioran [Émile Michel Cioran](1911-1995)
               Those who believe in their truth -- the only ones whose

        Tom Clancy (born 1947)
               The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

        Doug Clapp (born mid-XXth century)
               Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.

        Brian Clark (born mid-XXth century)
               The shortest distance between two points is through Hell.

        Ramsey Clark [William Ramsey Clark](born 1927)
               A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

        Arthur C. Clarke [Sir Arthur Charles Clarke, CBE, FRAS](1917-2008)
               Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
               It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God,
               One of the biggest roles of science fiction is to prepare people to accept
               There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

        James Freeman Clarke (1810-1888)
               A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman of the next

        John Clarke (died 1681)
               You must ask your neighbor if you shall live in peace.

        Carl von Clausewitz (1780-1831)
               The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

        Prof. R. Clausius [Rudolf Julius Emanuel Clausius/Rudolf Gottlieb](1822-1888)
               The entropy of the universe tends towards a maximum.

        Eldridge Cleaver (1935-1998)
               All the gods are dead except the god of war.

        John Cleese [John Marwood Cleese](born 1939)
               I feel very keenly that the idiot is a part of the old village system
               VOOM? Mate, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand

        Georges Clemenceau (1841-1929)
               America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly

        W.K. Clifford [William Kingdon Clifford FRS](1845-1879)
               It is wrong always, everywhere and for everyone to believe anything upon

        Richard Cline (born mid-XXth century)
               Are we thinking here, or is this just so much pointing and clicking?

        Irvin S. Cobb (1876-1944)
               I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

        Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)
               The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is

        Richard Cohen (born 1941)
               I dream that someday the United States will be on the side of the

        Frank Moore Colby (1865-1925)
               Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great
               Persecution was at least a sign of personal interest. Tolerance is

        J. Cole [Jermaine Lamarr Cole](born 1985)
               Love yourself, girl, or nobody will

        Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)
               I have seen gross intolerance shown in support of toleration.
               Our quaint metaphysical opinions, in an hour of anguish, are like
               The wise only possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed

        Colette [Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette](1873-1954)
               A happy childhood is poor preparation for human contacts.
               You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.

        G. Norman Collie (1859-1942)
               Grandchildren don't make a man feel older;

        Frederick L. Collins (1916-2000)
               There are two types of people.

        Michael Collins (born 1930)
               If you'll excuse me a minute, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.
               Our journey toward the stars has progressed swiftly.

        Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)
               Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest
               He that dies a martyr proves that he was not a knave, but by no means
               It is not so difficult a task to plant new truths, as to root out old

        Alex Comfort [Alexander Comfort, MB BChir, PhD, DSc](1920-2000)
               We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than

        Sir Arthur Conan Doyle [Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyle](1859-1930)
               I have wrought my simple plan

        attributed to Confucius [Kung Fu Tzu](551-479 BCE)
               A child once said:
               It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.
               Recognizing that you know what you know, and recognizing
               Silence is the true friend that never betrays.
               To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

        William Congreve (1670-1729)
               Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury,

        Tom J. Connelly
               He who asks a question may be a fool for five minutes, but he who

        Billy Connolly [William Connolly Jr, CBE](born 1942)
               What I discovered . . . is that the upper class, the serious upper class
               Wherever you're going, never take an idiot with you.

        Cyril Connolly (1903-1974)
               Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones
               Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who
               Hate is the consequence of fear; we fear something before we hate it;
               The past is the only dead thing that smells sweet.
               Those whom the gods would destroy, they first call promising.
               Youth is a period of missed opportunities.

        Jimmy Connors (born 1952)
               Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the

        Joseph Conrad [Józef Teodor Konrad Nałęcz Korzeniowski](1857-1924)
               Action is consolatory. It is the enemy of thought and the friend of
               As in political so in literary action a man wins friends for himself
               The way of even the most jusitifiable revolution is prepared by personal
               You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends.

        A.J. Constance
               It's not hard to find people who are pleasant to talk with, but

        Dane Cook (born 1972)
               Why in this day and age of modern technology do people still insist

        Peter Cook (1937-1995)
               Margaret [seeing monkeys at the zoo]: Doesn't it make you sad to see
               We have been forced to listen to the testimony of Mr Norma Syngen Scott,

        Rick Cook (born 1944)
               Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to

        Calvin Coolidge [John Calvin Coolidge](1872-1933)
               Business will be either better or worse.
               Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
               When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

        Col. Jeff Cooper [John Dean Cooper](1920-2006)
               Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes

        Tommy Cooper [Thomas Frederick Cooper](1921-1984)
               I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

        Alan Coren (1938-2007)
               Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we

        Bill Cosby [Dr William Henry Cosby Jr](born 1937)
               It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen,

        Émile Coué [Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie](1857-1926)
               Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux.

        Megan Coughlin
               Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Thou Shalt Not Kill one of your main

        Alan Coult
               The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

        Douglas Coupland (born 1961)
               One factor that sets us apart from all other animals is that our lives

        Norman Cousins (1915-1990)
               I cannot affirm God if I fail to affirm man. If I deny the oneness of man,
               We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should

        Noël Coward (1899-1973)
               I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who

        William Cowper (1731-1800)
               I was born of woman, and drew milk,
               To follow foolish precedents, and wink

        Alex Cox (born 1954)
               The life of a repo man is always intense.

        Dinah Maria Mulock Craik (1826-1887)
               Oh, the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort of feeling

        Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
               I saw a man pursuing the Horizon,
               I stood upon a high place, and saw, below, many devils, running,
               I was in the darkness;
               A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!"

        Joanna Crawford
               They're around, our friends -- always around

        Seymoure Cray (1925-1996)
               #3 pencils and quadrille pads. [his response when asked what CAD tools he
               I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

        Thomas L. Creed (fl. mid-XXth century)
               Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of

        Robert X. Cringely
               If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the

        Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)
               However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
               I hate music. There's too much music everywhere. It's horrible stuff,
               I think that a lifetime of listening to disco music is a high price to pay
               If Mr Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story
               In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who
               The lie is the basic building block of good manners.
               Long ago I said that all the harm that had come to the world was due
               The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold
               Well, I live in Manhattan for the same reason that everybody lives here:
               While I have little to say in favor of sex (it's vastly overrated,

        Norm Crosby (born 1927)
               When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of

        Aleister Crowley (1875-1947)
               The people who have really made history are the martyrs.

        John Culkin [John M. Culkin, SJ, Ph.D.](1928-1993)
               We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish.

        e.e. cummings [Edward Estlin Cummings](1894-1962)
               Be of love a little more careful than of anything.
               I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be
               I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living

        Ed Cunningham (born c.1946)
               Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the

        Marie Curie [Maria Sklodowska](1867-1934)
               Humanity needs practical men, who get the most out of their work, and,

        Richard Curtis [Richard Whalley Anthony Curtis](born 1956)
               Ha! I laugh in the face of danger. I drop ice cubes down the vest of fear!
               I can't see a point in the theatre. All that sex and violence.
               It's] the worst plan since Hitler's dad said to Hitler's mum,

        Idi Amin Dada (c.1925-2003)
               In any country there must be people who have to die.

        Roald Dahl (1916-1990)
               A little nonsense now and then

        Edward Dahlberg (1900-1977)
               It takes a long time to understand nothing.

        Dakota (Native American) proverb
               We will be known by the tracks we leave behind.

        George Daley [George William Daley](1875-1952)
               Twenty five years is a long time. Thirty-five years is a long, long time.

        Rodney Dangerfield [Jacob Rodney Cohen](1921-2004)
               I have good-looking kids; thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
               When I was a kid, I was poor, very poor. If I wasn't born a boy,

        Danish proverb
               A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.
               Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.

        Richard Danus (born mid-XXth century)
               I'm immortal again! Omnipotent again!
               It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent.

        Clarence Darrow [Clarence Seward Darrow](1857-1938)
               The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
               Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going
               The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the
               I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than
               I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called
               I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose.
               Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.
               When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President.

        Charles Darwin [Charles Robert Darwin, FRS](1809-1882)
               The assumed instinctive belief in God has been used by many persons as an
               Whenever I have found out that I have blundered, or that my work

        Guy Davenport [Guy Mattison Davenport](1927-2005)
               Sometimes, on reading Goethe, I have a paralyzing suspicion that he is

        Larry David (born 1947)
               A lie is a gesture, it's a courtesy. It's a sign of respect!

        Bill Davidsen
               Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.

        James Dale Davidson (born mid-XXth century)
               When you subsidise poverty and failure, you get more of both.

        Arthur Powell Davies (1902-1957)
               The world is now too dangerous for anything but truth,

        Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)
               Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using

        Bette Davis [Ruth Elizabeth Davis](1908-1989)
               Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work.

        Miles Davis [Miles Dewey Davis III](1926-1991)
               I'll play it [first] and tell you what it is later.

        Holman F. Day [Holman Francis Day](1865-1935)
               The purest affection the heart can hold is the honest love of a

        John Deacon (born 1951)
               Just one year of love is better than a lifetime alone.

        Matt Dearborn (born mid-XXth century)
               It's not whether you win or lose, as long as you come in first.

        Honoré de Balzac (1799-1850)
               Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
               The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance
               It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that
               Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything:
               Noblesse oblige

        Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais (1732-1799)
               As long as I don't write about the government, religion, politics and

        Simone de Beauvoir [Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie Bertrand de Beauvoir](1908-1986)
               Defending the truth is not something one does out of a sense of duty or
               What is an adult? A child blown up by age.

        Cyrano de Bergerac (1619-1655)
               A kiss is a rosy dot over the "i" of loving.

        Eugene Victor Debs (1855-1926)
               While there is a lower class I am in it; while there is a criminal

        L. Sprague de Camp [Lynn Sprague de Camp](1907-2000)
               Yngvi is a louse.

        Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751)
               So we follow our wandering paths, and the very darkness acts as our guide

        Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)
               Facts are the enemy of truth.
               A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
               There is no proverb that is not true.

        Warwick Deeping (1877-1950)
               Doubt is a great distorting glass -- the difficulties of life

        Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)
               Adversity attracts the man of character, for in grasping adversity
               The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
               Happiness is for idiots.
               What do you take me for, an idiot? [his response when a journalist asked

        Ellen Degeneres (born 1958)
               I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with

        Edmond de Goncourt [Edmond Louis Antoine Huot de Goncourt](1822-1896)
               La sauvagerie est nécessaire tous les quatre ou cinq cents ans
               S'il y a un Dieu, l'athéisme doit lui sembler une moindre
               Un livre n'est jamais un chef-d'œuvre, il le devient.

        Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915)
               De toutes les aberrations sexuelles, la plus singulière

        Stanton Delaplane (1907-1988)
               The computer is down. I hope it's something serious.

        Lt. Wilfrid Dellquest
               Boys' Creed

        Δημοκριτος [Democritus](c.460-c.370 BCE)
               Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold:

        Baron de Montesquieu [Charles-Louis de Secondat, baron de La Bréde et de Montesquieu](1689-1755)
               We should weep for men at their birth, not at their death.

        Alfred de Musset [Alfred Louis Charles de Musset-Pathay](1810-1857)
               How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception.
               How glorious it is -- and also how painful -- to be an exception.

        Patrick Dennis (1921-1976)
               Life is a banquet ---

        Chauncey Depew [Chauncey Mitchell Depew](1834-1928)
               I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
               A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.

        Comte de Bussy Roger de Rabutin (1618-1693)
               Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it

        René Descartes (1596-1650)
               COGITO ERGO SUM [Je pense, donc je suis / I think, therefore I am.]
               Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards

        Taisen Deshimaru (1914-1982)
               Time is not a line, but a series of no-points.

        Madame de Staël [Anne Louise Germaine de Staël](1766-1817)
               Sometimes . . . the reality of this world disappears all at once, and we
               We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.

        Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936)
               Los que dicen creer en Dios . . . sin pasión de ánimo, sin

        Deuteronomy IV:26, American Standard Version (ASV)
               I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day.

        René de Visme Williamson (1908-1998)
               If the American dream is for Americans only,

        Peter de Vries (1910-1993)
               The idea of a Supreme Being who creates a world in which one creature
               Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
               On celibacy: It's the worst form of self-abuse.

        John Dewey (1859-1952)
               Anyone who has begun to think, places some portion of the world in
               Intellectually, religious emotions are not creative but conservative.
               The measure of a civilization is the degree

        John Dewey (1859-1953)
               If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any
               In the broad and final sense all institutions are educational in the

        Baron d'Holbach [Paul Heinrich Dietrich/Paul-Henri Thiry, Baron d'Holbach](1723-1789)
               The other world gives no motive for doing well to him who finds

        Charles Dickens (1812-1870)
               Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six,
               Do you spell it with a "V" or a "W"?' inquired the
               The dreams of childhood -- its airy fables; its graceful, beautiful,
               Eccentricities of genius.
               Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch
               He would make a lovely corpse.
               I love these little people, and it is not a slight thing
               It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age
               There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.
               You are a human boy, my young friend.

        Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
               The fog is rising.
               Go Not Too Near a House of Rose
               A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live

        Terrance Dicks (born 1935)
               Just once, I wish we would encounter an alien menace
               There's no point in being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes.

        Gordon R. Dickson [Gordon Rupert Dickson](1923-2001)
               Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon

        Bo Diddley (1928-2008)
               Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail [ass, butt] can't cash.

        Denis Diderot (1713-1784)
               Fanaticism is just one step away from barbarism.
               The philosopher has never killed any priests, whereas the
               What has not been examined impartially has not been well examined.

        Marlene Dietrich (1901-1992)
               Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.

        William C. Dietz (born 1945)
               Words can be as lethal as bullets. Choose them carefully, aim them well,

        E.W. Dijkstra [Edsger Wybe Dijkstra](1930-2002)
               GOTO Statement Considered Harmful

        Annie Dillard (born 1945)
               I read about an Eskimo hunter who asked the local missionary priest,

        Phyllis Diller (1917-2012)
               My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
               Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle -- keep
               We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to

        April Dimenstein
               Nice, even pace. The word 'monotonous' comes to mind.

        Catherine Dimenstein
               She's very quiet, but you look at her, and you know that behind those eyes,

        Isak Dinesen [Karen Christenze Dinesen von Blixen-Finecke](1885-1962)
               The cure for anything is salt water -- sweat, tears or the sea.

        Διογενης [Diogenes of Sinope](c.412-323 BCE)
               To be honorable and just is our only defense against men without honor or

        Paul Dirac (1902-1984)
               In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood

        Walt Disney (1901-1966)
               I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
               It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

        Benjamin Disraeli [Benjamin Disraeli, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, KG, PC, FRS](1804-1881)
               Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness
               Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths
               Fear makes us feel our humanity.
               Man is a being born to believe. And if no church comes forward with
               To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.

        Missy Dizick (born 1936)
               Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil and cruel. True, and they have

        John Dobbin (born mid-XXth century)
               I have middle class remorse. I feel remorseful that I'm not upper class.
               The unlived life is not worth examining.
               Who pissed on your Pop Tart?

        J.R. "Bob" Dobbs
               I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm

        J. Frank Dobie (1888-1964)
               The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference

        Fats Domino (born 1928)
               A lot of people nowadays have a B.A., M.A., or

        Aelius Donatus (fl. mid-IV century CE)
               PEREANT INQUIT QUI ANTE NOS NOSTRA DIXERUNT

        John Donne (1572-1631)
               No man is an island,

        Fyodor Dostoyevski [Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky](1821-1881)
               Nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer; nothing is more difficult

        Norman Douglas [George Norman Douglas](1868-1952)
               Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.

        William O. Douglas [William Orville Douglas](1898-1980)
               The American Government is premised on the theory that if the mind of
               Oppression, like darkness, does not come upon us suddenly. It creeps

        Frederick Douglass [Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey] (c.1818-1895)
               If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor
               Men are better than their theology.
               Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are

        Matthew Dowd [Matthew John Dowd](born 1961)
               Poverty of the heart and soul , , , [exists] today.

        Theodore Herman Albert Dreiser (1871-1945)
               Religion is a bandage that man has invented to protect a soul made

        Dr Horatio Willis Dresser (1866-1954)
               What I am thinking and doing, day by day, is resistlessly

        Fean Dritchen (born 1929)
               When I have learned to share a stranger's

        Peter Drucker (1909-2005)
               The computer is a moron.
               Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I am going to do when

        Henry Drummond (1851-1897)
               In many ways the limitation of the natural life is the necessary

        John Dryden (1631-1700)
               All heiresses are beautiful.
               He was naturally learned; he needed not the spectacles of books to read

        René Jules Dubos (1901-1982)
               Wherever human beings are concerned, trend is never destiny.

        Charles H. Duell [Charles Holland Duell](1850-1920)
               Everything that can be invented has been invented.

        Tom Duff [Thomas Douglas Selkirk Duff](born 1952)
               Pi seconds is a nanocentury.

        Georges Duhamel (1884-1966)
               I respect the idea of God too much to hold it responsible for a world

        Alexandre Dumas [Alexandre Dumas, père](1802-1870)
               How is it that little children are so intelligent and men

        Alexandre Dumas [Alexandre Dumas, fils](1824-1895)
               If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which

        Isadora Duncan (1877-1927)
               The finest inheritance you can give to a child is to allow it
               My life has known but two motives -- Love and Art -- and often Love

        Irina Dunn [Patricia Irene Dunn](born 1948)
               A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

        Claire Dunne (born 1937)
               To [Carl] Jung, Christianity, as opposed to Christ's teachings, had lost

        Finley Peter Dunne (1867-1936)
               Don't ask f'r rights. Take thim. An' don't let anny wan give thim to ye. A
               It doesn't make much difference what you study, as long as you don't
               A man that expects to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic

        Will Durant [William James Durant](1885-1981)
               Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without
               Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
               One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do
               Those who have suffered much become very bitter or very gentle.
               The trouble with most people is that they think with their hopes or

        Karlfried Graf Dürckheim [Karl Friedrich Alfred Heinrich Ferdinand Maria
               The man who, being really on the Way [i.e., self-aware, living in the

        Dr Marion B. Durfee (fl. mid-XXth century)
               A Parent's Prayer

        Dutch Proverb
               Een schip op het strand is een baken in zee.

        John C. Dvorak (born 1952)
               In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone,

        Alan Dybner (born mid-XXth century)
               Eric Forman (Topher Grace): Isn't the bikini a marvelous invention?

        Bob Dylan (born 1941)
               Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more
               Love is just a four-letter word.
               You're either busy being born, or busy dyin'.

        J.W. Eagan
               Never judge a book by its movie.

        Harry Eagar (born 1946)
               The book is worth attention for only two reasons: (1) it attacks

        Abba Eban (1915-2002)
               His ignorance is encyclopedic.
               Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the

        Fred Ebb (1928-2004)
               For the sun will rise, and the moon will set,

        Ecclesiastes I:18, KJV
               For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge

        Meister Eckhart [Johannes Eckhart](c.1260-1329)
               If I was alone in a desert and feeling afraid,

        Umberto Eco (born 1932)
               There are four kinds of people in this world:

        Mary Baker G. Eddy (1821-1910)
               Love. What a word! I am in awe before it. . . . No word is

        Rosemary Edghill [Eluki Bes Shahar](born 1956)
               Why borrow trouble when the universe gives so much of it away free?

        Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
               All Bibles are man-made.
               I haven't failed. I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.
               Religion is all bunk.

        Adrian Edmondson [Adrian Charles Edmondson](born 1957)
               Talent is only a stumbling-block. . . . What I've got is fame, charm,

        Edward, Duke of Windsor [Edward VIII Rex](1894-1972)
               The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents

        Blake Edwards [William Blake Crump](1922-2010)
               A film director has just seen a huge desert fort blown up before the

        Sherman Edwards (1919-1981)
               A second Flood, a simple famine, plagues of locusts everywhere,

        George Alec Effinger (1947-2002)
               It is not well to be thought of as one who meekly submits to insolence and

        Barbara Ehrenreich (born 1941)
               Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia.
               No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent,

        Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)
               Desiderata

        Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
               Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more
               As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
               Before God we are equally wise, and equally foolish.
               Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
               Curiosity has its own reason for existence.
               Das ewig Unbegreifliche an der Welt ist ihre Begreiflichkeit.
               Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure
               An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.
               The faster you go, the shorter you are.
               Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which
               The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain
               God does not play dice with the universe.
               Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
               Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition
               Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from
               I believe, on the whole, that love is a better teacher than sense of duty.
               I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
               I want to know all God's thoughts . . . all the rest are just details.
               If A equals success, then the formula is:
               If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z.
               If we knew what it was we were doing,
               Imagination is more important than knowledge.
               The important thing is not to stop questioning.
               Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
               It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
               It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war
               A little knowledge is dangerous. So is a lot.
               Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
               Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
               A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy,
               The more a man is imbued with the ordered regularity of all events, the
               The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
               My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior
               My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior
               Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.
               No, this trick wont work . . . How on earth are you ever going to explain
               Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that
               Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and
               Politics are for the present, equations are for eternity.
               Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
               The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has
               The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
               There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though
               To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate made me an authority
               Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a
               Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
               Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.
               The world war after the next one will be fought with sticks and stones.

        Dwight D. Eisenhower [Dwight David Eisenhower](1890-1969)
               No man is really a man who has lost out of himself all of the boy.
               A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
               We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

        Cato the Elder [Marcus Porcius Cato](c.236-149 BCE)
               After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument
               NOBILITAS SOLA EST ATQUE UNICA VIRTUS

        Paul Eldridge (1888-1982)
               Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite

        Steve Eley (born late-XXth century)
               Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of awesome mystical power. We know this

        George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans](1819-1880)
               Any coward can fight a battle when he's sure of winning, but give me

        T.S. Eliot [Thomas Stearns Eliot, OM](1888-1965)
               And the wind shall say, "Here were decent godless people; their only
               Between the idea
               Birth, copulation and death.
               Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want
               In my beginning is my end. . . .
               Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
               Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

        Ted Elliott (born 1961)
               Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be

        David Ellis (fl. mid-XXth century)
               Fourth Law of Thermodymanics:

        Havelock Ellis (1859-1939)
               The place where optimism most flourishes is in the lunatic asylum.

        Harlan Ellison (born 1934)
               K is for "Kenghis Khan". He was a very nice person.

        Ben Elton [Benjamin Charles Elton](born 1959)
               There's nothing so boring as waiting for the Apocalypse.
               When you look at the statistics, right, 83% of top British management

        Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
               All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been
               Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
               A child is a curly, dimpled, lunatic.
               Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is
               Don't say things. What you are stands over you the while, and
               The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die
               Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.
               A fly is as untamable as a hyena.
               A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may
               Heaven always bears some proportion to earth. The god of the cannibal
               I like boys. . . . They know truth from counterfeit as quick as the
               I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching.
               I used to always think that I'd look back on us crying and laugh, but,
               It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person: Always do
               Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am
               Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
               Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
               Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
               The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and
               We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or
               Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
               You will always find those who think they know what is your duty better
               You will hear [as you go out into the world], that the first duty is

        English proverb
               If you wish to have a master archer, start by training his grandfather.
               In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

        Quintus Ennius (c.239-c.169 BCE)
               Do not expect strangers to do for you

        Nora Ephron (1941-2012)
               Beware of men who cry. It's true that men who cry are sensitive and
               Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane

        Επικτητος [Epictetus](55-135 CE)
               Men are not worried by things, but by their
               One must not tie a ship
               TANTUM ERUDITI SUNT LIBERI (Only the educated are free).
               We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much

        Επικουρος [Epicurus](341-270 BCE)
               One is rich not through possessions,

        Julius J. Epstein (1909-2000)
               Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of

        Dos Equis [beer] advertising billboard
               The bulk of your life should be off the record.

        Paul Erdos (1913-1996)
               A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into thereoms.
               A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.

        Ludwig Erhard [Ludwig Wilhelm Erhard](1897-1977)
               A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone

        John Erskine (1879-1951)
               There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I

        Susan Ertz (1894-1985)
               Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves

        Sam Ervin [Samuel James Ervin Jr](1896-1985)
               I'm not going to let anybody come down at night like Nicodemus and

        Evan Esar (1899-1995)
               A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
               A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

        M.C. Escher [Maurits Cornelis Escher](1898-1972)
               He who wonders discovers that this is in itself a wonder.
               I don't use drugs; my dreams are frightening enough.

        Abraham ibn Esra (c.1089-c.1167)
               There is none more lonely than the man who loves only himself.

        Ethiopian proverb
               When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion.

        Ευριπιδησ [Euripides](c.480-406 BCE)
               Do we, holding that gods exist, deceive ourselves with unsubstantiated

        Louis Evely (1910-1985)
               Our Lord expected the utmost from everyone.

        Sam Ewing (1921-2001)
               Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

        Ezekiel XXIII:20, Vulgate; English translation from New English Bible
               ET INSANIVIT LIBIDINE SUPER CONCUBITUM EORUM QUORUM CARNES SUNT

        Scott Fahlman [Scott Elliott Fahlman](born 1948)
               If you can't take the heat, don't tickle the dragon.

        William Fairchild (1918-2000)
               Beware of wishing for something in youth,

        Rev Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
               The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
               AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it
               The Bible is the inerrant . . . word of the living God. It is absolutely
               Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan in America.
               Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions.
               Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are
               He is purple -- the gay-pride color, and his antenna is shaped like a
               I am such a strong admirer and supporter of George W. Bush that
               I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no
               I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save
               I think hell's a real place where real people spend a real eternity.
               The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the
               If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
               Nothing will motivate conservative evangelical Christians to vote
               Textbooks are Soviet propaganda.
               We visit prisoners on death row, and some of them are saved, but
               We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism . . .
               You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver
               You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm

        Rev. Jerry Falwell (1933-2007)
               There's a seeker born every minute!

        Philip José Farmer (1918-2009)
               The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

        Dorothy Farnum (1900-1970)
               Death kills but once. Life kills many times.

        William Faulkner [William Cuthbert Falkner (sic)](1897-1962)
               My mother is a fish.

        Jules Feiffer (born 1929)
               The big mistake that men make is that when they turn 13 or 14 and
               Some mornings I wake up in a panic, because I'm convinced I've forgotten

        David Ferrier (born mid-XXth century)
               Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.

        Richard Feynman (1918-1988)
               For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public
               Not knowing is much more interesting than believing an answer

        Jim Fiebig
               If you can look back on your life with contentment you have

        Edgar Russell Fiedler (1930-2003)
               Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if one
               For economists, the real world is often a special case.

        Henry Fielding (1707-1754)
               He, in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have
               Let no man be sorry he has done good, because others have done evil!
               Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
               What is vice today may be virtue tomorrow.

        Joseph Fields [Joseph Albert Fields](1895-1966)
               Estelle Novick: Do you ever think of the victims of broken homes?

        Totie Fields (1930-1978)
               I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.

        W.C. Fields (1880-1946)
               Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
               After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.
               Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing
               All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
               All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree.
               Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
               A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a
               A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim
               Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting
               Horse sense is the thing the horse has which keeps him from
               I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
               I like children, if they're properly cooked.
               I like children. Fried.
               I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
               Mae West: A plumber's idea of Cleopatra.
               A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
               A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
               A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
               A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
               We lived for days on nothing but food and water.
               A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

        Derwood Fincher
               Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more

        Charles J. Finger [Charles Joseph Finger](1867-1941)
               In our occidental society where the dollar and dollar only counts,
               There are people who would have lascivious notions if they saw

        James Finke (born 1927)
               The personal computer market is about the same size as the

        Dave Finkel (born 1970)
               Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead.
               Ms Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?
               Some of you may not return . . . actually, none of you will.
               Woman: Well, I never!
               Yakko, is our use of falling anvils going to be a bit excessive?

        Firesign Theatre
               Everything you know is wrong.
               How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
               I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
               Live or die, I'll make a million.
               There was something fishy about the butler. I think he was a Pisces,
               This is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six
               Yes, some uncomplicated peoples still believe this myth. But here, in the

        Joseph Fischer
               Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you

        Martin H. Fischer [Martin Henry Fischer](1879-1962)
               A living civilization creates; a dying, builds museums.

        G. Fitch
               The chain which can be yanked is not the Eternal Chain.

        Bernice Fitz-Gibbon (1894-1982)
               Creativity often consists of merely turning up what is already there.

        F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)
               He was one of those men who come in a door and make any
               Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.

        Paul Fix (1901-1983)
               The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's

        Edward Flaherty
               You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of

        Arthur Flakoll (1897-1987)
               Paradox

        Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)
               All you have to do to make something interesting is to look at it long
               Stupidity consists in wanting to reach conclusions. We are a thread,

        Ian Fleming [Ian Lancaster Fleming](1908-1964)
               Older women are best because they always think they may be doing

        John William Fletcher (1579-1625)
               Fanaticism is the child of false zeal and of superstition, the

        Joseph Fletcher (1905-1991)
               We ought to love people and use things;

        Wayland Flowers (1939-1988)
               Here's champagne for my real friends,

        Pretty Boy Floyd [Charles Arthur Floyd](1904-1934)
               It's no disgrace to be poor, but it's sure a hell of a bother!

        Errol Flynn (1909-1959)
               It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.

        Peter Fonda (born 1940)
               George Hanson: You know, this used to be a helluva good country.

        Henry Ford (1863-1947)
               Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes
               Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

        E.M. Forster [Edward Morgan Forster](1879-1970)
               Books have to be read (worse luck it takes so long a time). It is
               I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when
               One always tends to over-praise a long book because one has got through it.
               We are willing enough to praise freedom when she is safely tucked away in

        Henry Emerson Fosdick (1878-1969)
               No man is the whole of himself.
               No one can be wrong with man, and right with God.

        Alan Dean Foster (born 1946)
               Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting.

        Redd Foxx (1922-1991)
               Beauty is only skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.

        Anatole France [Jacques Anatole François Thibault](1844-1924)
               If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
               If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.
               La majestueuse égalité des lois, qui interdit au riche comme au
               La souffrance! quelle divine méconnu! Nous lui devons tout ce
               Le christianisme a beaucoup fait pour l'amour en en faisant un péché.
               The majority of people, though they do not know what to do with this life,
               On croit mourir pour la patrie; on meurt pour les industriels.
               A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very
               People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way of taking
               Quand une chose a été dite et bien dite,
               Que mourir pour une idée, c'est mettre à bien haut prix des
               There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned

        St Francis de Sales (1567-1622)
               Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.
               Je ne sais point de plus grande finesse pour parvenir à aimer que

        Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
               As to Jesus of Nazareth . . . I think the system of Morals and his
               A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
               Diligence is the mother of good luck.
               Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other.
               Experience keeps a dear school, but Fools will learn in no other.
               Free people write books. Free people read books.
               He that is good for making excuses
               How many observe Christ's Birthday! How few, his Precepts! O! 'tis
               If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write
               Necessity never made a good bargain.
               There never was a good war or a bad peace.
               We do not stop playing because we grow old,
               We must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang
               Well done is better than well said.
               Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

        Michael Franti (born 1966)
               One Nation Under God has turned into

        Jack Freedman
               A piano is a piano is a piano is a piano. -Gertrude Steinway

        Dr Maurice Freehill (1915-2012)
               Who is more foolish -- the child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid

        Valerie J. Freireich (born 1952)
               Symmetry is not justice.

        French proverb
               Those who do not do politics will be done in by politics.
               Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner.
               Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble.

        Sigmund Freud [Sigismund Schlomo Freud](1856-1939)
               The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone
               Lieben und arbeiten. [To love and to work.]
               Man cannot remain a child for all eternity. The world is no nursery.
               On the whole I have not gained the impression that sexual abstinence
               One is very crazy when in love.
               Religion is an attempt to get control over the sensory world, in which
               Religion, comprises a system of wishful illusions together with a
               What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence

        Edgar Z. Friedenberg (1921-2000)
               The "teenager" seems to have replaced the Communist as the

        Milton Friedman (1912-2006)
               Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

        Max Frisch (1911-1991)
               Technology is the knack of organizing the world so that we don't have

        Erich Fromm [Erich Seligmann Fromm](1900-1980)
               Birth is not one act; it is a process.
               If faith cannot be reconciled with rational thinking, it has to be
               If I can say to somebody else, 'I Love You', I must be able to say,
               Love of the helpless one, love of the poor and the stranger,
               The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty
               The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful
               There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with
               There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive

        Robert Frost (1874-1963)
               Americans are like a rich father who wishes he knew how to give his son
               A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather
               A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never
               Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
               I had a lover's quarrel with the world.
               A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better
               A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
               Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
               The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
               The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest

        J.A. Froude (1818-1894)
               Moderate reformers always hate those who go beyond them.

        Stephen Fry [Stephen John Fry](born 1957)
               Ask a stupid person, get a stupid answer.
               I am weeping too for the death of adolescence, the death of
               I knew [as an adolescent] that it was my destiny to become a foreigner,
               I remember exactly what I was doing when I heard the news.
               Perhaps all adolescence is a dialogue between Faust and
               There was still a sense [in the late 1970s], I suppose a hangover from
               To Myself: Not To Be Read Until I Am Twenty-Five . . . Everything I feel

        Fuller
               Acount him thy real friend who desires thy good

        Dr Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)
               All things are difficult before they are easy.
               Many can bear adversity, but few contempt.
               Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.

        R. Buckminster Fuller [Richard Buckminster Fuller](1895-1983)
               The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
               Fuller's Law of Cosmic Irreversibility:
               Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
               We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to
               We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the thought is
               When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think

        Robert Fuoss (1912-1980)
               It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing

        J.J. Furnas
               Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except Sequoia trees.

        G [Windy City Times columnist]
               Being straight is a common enough aberration, though its roots are shrouded

        Zsa Zsa Gabor (born 1917)
               Diamonds are a girl's best friend and dogs are a man's best friend.
               He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce, I keep the house.
               I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
               I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house.
               A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished.

        Celia J. Gaines (born c.1948)
               I have heard that it takes some living to finally

        John Kenneth Galbraith (1908-2006)
               If all else fails, immortaility can always be assured by spectacular error.
               In any great organization it is far, far safer to be wrong with the
               The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises
               Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.
               One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you
               Talk of revolution is one way of avoiding reality.
               There are times in politics when you must be on the right side and lose.
               There is an insistent tendency among serious social scientists to think

        Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
               I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with
               La matematica è l'alfabeto nel quale Dio ha scritto l'universo.

        James V. Gallagher (born 1933)
               I can see stopping a car for a dog. But a cat? You squish a cat

        Pierre Gallois [Pierre-Marie Gallois](1911-2010)
               If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but

        George Gallup [George Horace Gallup](1901-1984)
               I could prove God statistically.

        John Galsworthy (1867-1933)
               Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.

        Mahatma Gandhi [Mohandas K. Gandhi](1869-1948)
               . . . Love and Truth.
               A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative
               First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
               God has no religion.
               I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians.
               I searched here for God and failed to find him.
               I think it would be a good idea.
               In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.
               Just as a scientist
               The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice'
               Passive resistance is twice blessed:
               There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear
               There is a higher court than courts of justice
               Truth never damages a cause that is just.
               An unjust law is itself a species of violence.
               What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless,
               The world provides enough for everyone's need,

        Jeff Garbers (born mid-XXth century)
               Easy to use" is easy to say.

        Martin Gardner (1914-2010)
               Evolution is as much a fact as the earth turning on its axis and going
               It is sad to find him [Irving Kristol (1920-2009), American writer dubbed

        Stanley Garn [Stanley Marion Garn, Ph.D.](1922-2007)
               If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would

        James Finn Garner (born 1960)
               We can't even agree to disagree anymore. We have to be all on the same

        Sir Samuel Garth (1661-1719)
               A barren superfluity of words.

        Bill Gates [William Henry Gates](born 1955)
               Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more

        Paul Gauguin [Eugène Henri Paul Gauguin](1848-1903)
               Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
               Civilization is what makes you sick.

        Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855)
               Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

        Willard Gaylin (born 1925)
               Expressing anger is a form of public littering.

        Joseph Geha (born 1944)
               They didn't know any better; being kids, they were slow to extend to humans

        Theodore Seuss Geisel [Dr Seuss](1904-1991)
               I'd rather write for kids. They're more appreciative. Adults are obsolete

        Larry Gelbart [Lawrence Simon Gelbart](1928-2009)
               Television] viewers must be kept happy because unhappy viewers aren't

        Bob Geldof [Robert Frederick Zenon Geldof, KBE](born 1951)
               It is in particular the people in other countries who are "mouthy"

        David 'Dave' Tyson Gentry (born 1951)
               True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

        Herbert Gerjuoy
               The new education must teach the individual how to classify and reclassify

        German proverb
               A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.

        David Gerrold (born 1944)
               When you divide people into us and them, you automatically

        Elbridge Gerry (1744-1814)
               A standing army is like a standing member, an excellent assurance of

        J. Paul Getty [Jean Paul Getty](1892-1976)
               The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.

        They Might Be Giants
               Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

        Edward Gibbon (1737-1794)
               The greater men are, the humbler they are, because they
               In the end more than they wanted freedom, they wanted security.
               The various modes of worship which prevailed in the Roman world were all

        Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
               And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
               And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the
               And what is fear of need but need itself?
               And your body is the harp of your soul,
               Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
               I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant,
               It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and
               Pleasure is a freedom song,
               Strengthen our hearts so we may live,
               We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.
               Your daily life is your temple and your religion.
               Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

        Elizabeth Gibson
               The wider our experience the deeper our tolerance.

        William Gibson [William Ford Gibson](born 1948)
               I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of

        André Gide [André Paul Guillaume Gide](1869-1951)
               Art is a collaboration between God an the artist, and the less the
               Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself -- and thus
               Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
               Connais-toi toi-même. Maxime aussi pernicieuse que laide. Quiconque
               In order to be utterly happy the only thing necessary is to
               It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what
               Know thyself" - a maxim as pernicious as it is odious.
               So long as we live among men, let us cherish humanity.
               There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
               To win one's joy through struggle is better than to yield to melancholy.

        Raynold Gideon (born mid-XXth century)
               I never had any friends later on like the ones

        W.S. Gilbert [Sir William Schwenck Gilbert](1836-1911)
               When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.

        George Francis Gillette (born 1875)
               There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.

        Terry Gilliam [Terence Vance Gilliam](born 1940)
               Governments are really keen on locking people up that they don't like.
               When I left . . . the Chevrolet assembly plant in Van Nuys, California,

        Grant Gilmore (1910-1982)
               The function of the lawyer is to preserve a sceptical relativism

        John Gilmore (born 1955)
               The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it.
               Truth: The most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of

        Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)
               America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
               Whoever controls the media, the images, controls the culture.

        George Gissing (1857-1903)
               It is because nations tend to stupidity and baseness that mankind

        Arnold H. Glasow [Arnold Henry Glasow](1905-1998)
               Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.

        Jackie Gleason (1916-1987)
               The second day of a diet is always easier than the first.

        Gordon L. Glegg (born mid-XXth century)
               At first sight, the idea of any rules or principles being superimposed on

        John Herschel Glenn Jr (born 1921)
               For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the

        Michael Glouberman (born mid-XXth century)
               I think it's my last time. . . . for anything stupid, and reckless, and
               You can't hold on to the past . . . You've got to live in the

        Max Gluckman [Herman Max Gluckman](1911-1975)
               A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go

        God [via Moses]
               Thou shalt not kill.

        Dr Robert H. Goddard [Robert Hutchings Goddard](1882-1945)
               Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged,

        Rumer Godden [Margaret Rumer Godden OBE](1907-1998)
               There is an Indian belief that everyone is a house of four rooms:

        Gail Godwin (born 1937)
               Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

        Hermann Göring (1893-1946)
               Guns make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.

        Johann Wolfgang von Goethe [Göthe](1749-1832)
               Auch das Unnatürlichste ist Natur. . . . Wer sie nicht allenthalben
               Bittet mich ein anderer um guten Rath, so sage ich wohl, daß
               A clever man commits no minor blunders.
               Das Alter macht nicht kindisch, wie man spricht,
               Das Nützliche befordert sich selbst, . . . das Schöne muss befördert werden
               Denn eben wo Begriffe fehlen,
               Denn wir können die Kinder nach unserem Sinne nicht formen;
               Der Zweck des Lebens ist das Leben selbst
               Die Gegenwart ist eine mächtige Göttin.
               Doesn't surprise me that Christ our Lord preferred to live with whores
               Eine richtige Antwort ist wie ein lieblicher Kuß.
               Ganz gleich, ob König oder Bauer, glücklich ist, wer Frieden
               Kennst du das Land, wo die Zitronen blühn?
               Was man nicht versteht, besitzt man nicht.
               Wenn wir, sagtest du, die Menschen nur nehmen, wie sie sind, so machen

        William Golding [Sir William Gerald Golding, CBE](1911-1993)
               Maybe," he said hesitantly, "maybe there is a beast."

        Emma Goldman (1869-1940)
               If I can't dance, I don't want to be a part of your revolution.

        William Goldman (born 1931)
               Inconceivable! You use that word a lot.
               Life is Pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

        Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774)
               Every absurdity has now a champion to defend it . . . for error is
               Girls like to be played with, and rumpled too sometimes.

        Barry Goldwater [Barry Morris Goldwater](1909-1998)
               However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise.
               I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

        Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974)
               Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
               Don't pay attention to the critics -- don't even ignore them.
               I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
               If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.
               A verbal contract isn't worth the paper its printed on.

        Paul Goodman (1911-1972)
               As a rule of thumb, it is never what you do do that makes you
               The family is the ultimate American fascism.

        June Goodwin (born mid-XXth century)
               That smile

        Gen. Gordon [Major-General Charles George Gordon, CB/Chinese Gordon/Gordon Pasha/Gordon of Khartoum](1833-1885)
               When one thinks of the real agony one has gone through in consequence of

        Ruth Gordon (1896-1985)
               One of the hardest things in the world

        Shirley Gordon
               Everything you eat is seasoned by memories.
               The only things you really keep

        Amy Gorin
               I'm not the person your mother warned you about -- her imagination isn't

        Eddie Gorodetsky (born mid-XXth century)
               When you're hungry at school, you need to know:

        Stephen Jay Gould (1941-2002)
               Creation science" has not entered the curriculum for a reason
               We must counterpose the overwhelming judgment provided by consistent

        Francisco Goya [Francisco de Goya y Lucientes](1746-1828)
               La fantasia abandonada de la razón produce monstruos imposibles;

        Ronald L. Graham (born 1935)
               We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is

        Maurice Gran [Maurice Bernard Gran](born 1949)
               Dr Hannah Awkward (Emily Bruni): You don't seem very despondent

        Cary Grant [Archibald Alexander Leach](1904-1986)
               Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.

        Rob Grant (born mid-XXth century)
               Oxygen's for losers!

        Doctor Graper
               I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously.

        Spalding Gray [Spalding Rockwell Gray](1941-2004)
               How therapeutic it is to surround yourself with people weirder

        Dan Greaney
               Trying is the first step toward failure.

        Horace Greeley (1811-1872)
               I do not regret having braved public opinion, when I knew it was

        Russell Green
               The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to

        Dan Greenburg (born 1936)
               Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble

        Graham Greene [Henry Graham Greene, OM, CH](1904-1991)
               Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought.
               Sentimentality -- that's what we call the sentiment we don't share.
               There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and

        James Broadstreet Greenough (1833-1901)
               In the absolute sense of the term, a word

        Dick Gregory (born 1932)
               I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white

        Wayne Gretzky [Wayne Douglas Gretzky](born 1961)
               Statistically, one hundred percent of the shots you don't take

        Amanda Grier
               A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain,

        Bill Griffith [William Henry Jackson Griffith](born 1944)
               Only yesterday I was brash, defiant and full of endorphins and excess amino

        A. Whitney Griswold [Alfred Whitney Griswold](1906-1963)
               Books won't stay banned. They won't burn. Ideas won't go to jail. In the

        Matt Groening (born 1954)
               A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist

        Emmett Grogan [Eugene Grogan](c.1943-1978)
               Anything anybody can say about America is true.

        Charles H. Grosvenor [Charles Henry Grosvenor](1833-1917)
               Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.

        Edgar A. Guest [Edgar Albert Guest](1881-1959)
               Myself

        Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)
               I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day.

        Che Guevara [Ernesto Guevara](1928-1967)
               Silence is argument carried out by other means.
               A true REVOLUTIONARY

        Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
               You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

        attributed to the Gulistan of Moslih Eddin Saadi [c.1184-1291]
               Hyacinths

        G.I. Gurdjieff [George Ivanovich Gurdjieff](1866-1949)
               In most of world now . . . people only want happiness. Other things

        Arlo Guthrie (born 1947)
               We are |

        Woody Guthrie (1912-1967)
               It's round the world I've traveled; it's round the world I've roamed;

        Schemuel Ha-Nagid [Samuel Haleviben Joseph ibn Nagdela](993-1055)
               What is it that troubles you? Death?

        Alexander Haig (1924-2010)
               That's not a lie, it's a terminological inexactitude.
               The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that

        J.B.S. Haldane [John Burdon Sanderson Haldane, FRS](1892-1964)
               He seems to have an inordinate fondness for beetles.

        Edward Twitchell Hall Jr (1914-2009)
               The analysis of one's own culture simply makes

        Eliza Calvert Hall [Eliza Caroline 'Lida' Obenchain, née Calvert](1856-1935)
               The sunset on which we gaze with melancholy eyes is a sunrise

        Barbara Hambly (born 1951)
               And what do military commanders have to do with statecraft
               Don't tell me you still believe in coincidence . . .
               God has judged me all my life. But that is God's privilage. Not yours.
               Hard work is the novocaine of the soul.
               To kill is to survive the fight. To kill is to want very much to live.
               What I've been through would scare any self-respecting bacteria into

        Alex Hamilton (born 1936)
               Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.

        Andrew Hamilton (born c.1900)
               Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh

        Robert M. Hamilton
               A book of quotations . . . can never be complete.

        Dag Hammarskjöld [Dag Hjalmar Agne Carl Hammarskjöld](1905-1961)
               Do not seek death; death will find you.
               We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.

        Armie Hammer [Armand Douglas Hammer](born 1986)
               We got to go to Cowboy Camp and have a bunch of cowboys kick the city

        R.W. Hamming [Richard Wesley Hamming](1915-1998)
               The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.

        Christopher Hampton (born 1946)
               Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a
               Masturbation is the thinking man's television.
               The only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable.

        Jack Handey (born 1949)
               The face of a child can say it all. Especially the mouth part of the face.

        Rob Hansen
               Usenet is just email with witnesses.

        Richard Harkness (1907-1977)
               What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit,

        Robert Harley
               Alcohol is a slow poison. But who's in a hurry?

        Lucille S. Harper (fl. mid-XXth century)
               The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

        Rev Glendon Harris (fl. mid-XXth century)
               No church has the prerogative of telling you what to believe. Churches

        Sidney Harris [S. Harris](born mid-XXth century)
               Six years for possession of a cigarette? . . . I got six months for

        Sydney J. Harris (1917-1986)
               Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.
               Many people feel "guilty" about things they shouldn't
               People who think they're generous to a fault usually think that's
               The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men,
               When you run into someone who is disagreeable to others,

        Edward R. Harrison [Edward Robert 'Ted' Harrison](1919-2007)
               The history of the Universe has been summed up thusly:

        Jennifer Hart
               Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the

        Johnny Hart (1931-2007)
               Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec.
               If man evolved from the ape, how come there are still apes

        Paul Harvey [Paul Harvey Aurandt](1918-2009)
               In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been

        Minnie Louise Haskins (1875-1957)
               And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:

        Robert Hass (born 1941)
               There are limits to imagination.

        Vaclav Havel (1936-2011)
               Seek the company of those who are looking for the truth,
               You do not become a "dissident" just because you decide one day

        Stephen Hawking (born 1942)
               The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance,
               I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it

        Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)
               But it is a strange experience, to a man of pride and sensibility,
               It contributes greatly towards a man's moral and intellectual health,

        Teresa Nielsen Hayden (born 1956)
               Always side with the truth. It's much bigger than you are.

        Helen Hayes (1900-1993)
               The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70.

        William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
               Everyone in a crowd has the power to throw dirt: nine out of ten have the

        Randolph Heard (born mid-XXth century)
               Gravity is a harsh mistress.

        D.O. Hebb [Donald Olding Hebb](1904-1985)
               Modern psychology takes completely for granted that behavior and neural

        Donald Hebb [Donald Olding Hebb](1904-1985)
               If something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.

        Hebrew Proverb
               Do not confine your children to your own learning,

        Jascha Heifetz (1901-1987)
               No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people

        Piet Hein (1905-1996)
               Problems worthy

        Heinrich Heine [Harry Heine/Christian Johann Heinrich Heine](1797-1856)
               Dieu me pardonnera. C'est son motier. [God will forgive me. It's his job.]
               Experience is a good school, but the fees are high.
               There are more fools in the world than there are people.
               Wherever books are burned, men, also, are burned.

        Robert A. Heinlein [Robert Anson Heinlein](1907-1988)
               All men must die, it was their single common heritage. But a book
               Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
               An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
               An armed society is a polite society.
               Be creative, invent a perversion.
               Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -
               Censorship is never logical but, like cancer, it is dangerous
               A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
               Don't ever become a pessimist, Ira; a pessimist is correct oftener than
               Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
               The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
               History has the relation to truth that theology has to
               I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable,
               I believe . . . that we will always make it . . . survive . . . endure.
               In a mature society, 'Civil servant' is semantically equal to
               In a society in which it is a mortal offense to be different from your
               An insult is like a drink; it affects one only if accepted.
               Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is
               Love is what still goes on when you are not horny.
               Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves.
               Natural laws have no pity.
               On two subjects the overwhelming majority of people regarded their own
               One man's magic is another man's engineering.
               Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
               Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
               Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other
               Sin? Sin like love was a word hard to define. It came in two bitter but
               There are a lot of people who are going to be visiting my gravesite
               To be 'matter of fact' about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and
               Violence accomplishes nothing." What a contemptible lie!
               When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to
               You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on
               You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

        Joseph Heller (1923-1999)
               And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways. . . . He's not working at
               The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed,

        Meria Heller (born c.1950)
               Christian is a VERB not a noun.

        Ernest Hemingway [Ernest Miller Hemingway] (1899-1961)
               Courage is] grace under pressure.
               God knows, people who are paid to have attitudes toward
               I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
               Never mistake motion for action.
               The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong

        Zenna Henderson [Zenna Chlarson Henderson](1917-1983)
               You saw a hurting you could help and did something about it.

        Tony Hendra (born 1941)
               Deteriorata
               The universe is laughing behind your back.

        Jimi Hendrix (1942-1970)
               I'm the one that's got to die
               Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
               When the power of love overcomes the love of power,

        William Ernest Henley (1849-1903)
               Invictus

        Lenny Henry [Lenworth George Henry, CBE](born 1958)
               I was born with the blues. I was an unlucky child. I was abandoned on

        Matthew Henry (1662-1714)
               All this and heaven too.

        O. Henry [William Sydney Porter](1862-1910)
               A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

        Patrick Henry (1736-1799)
               Is life so dear, or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price

        Herbert Hensley Henson (1863-1947)
               Men are doubtful and skeptical about the Church; they suspect and dislike

        Dr Thomas Norval Hepburn (1879-1962)
               Never let yourself hate any person. It is the most devastating weapon

        Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003)
               I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

        Ηρακλειτος [Heraclitus of Ephesus](c.535-c.475 BCE)
               It is not good for all you wishes to be fulfilled:
               A man's character is his fate.
               Much learning does not teach thought.
               The road uphill and the road downhill are one and the same.

        Anne Herbert (born 1952)
               Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

        Frank Herbert [Franklin Patrick Herbert Jr](1920-1986)
               The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience.

        Herbert Benson, M.D. (born 1935)
               Hatred is a banquet until you recognize you are the main course.

        Oliver Herford (1863-1935)
               Manuscript (n.): Something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
               Only the young die good.

        Edward S. Herman (born 1925)
               The democratic postulate is that the media are independent and committed

        Jack Herman (born mid-XXth century)
               I'm sick of being trodden on! The Elder Gods say they can make me a man!

        Herman Hesse (1877-1962)
               One paradox, however, must be accepted and this is that

        Hal Hickman
               Opinions are like assholes -- everyone's got one, but nobody wants to

        Bill Hicks (1961-1994)
               I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the
               If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't
               People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" Nothing.

        Colin Higgins (1941-1988)
               Harold: You sure have a way with people.
               Much of the world's trouble comes from

        Jim Hightower [James Allen Hightower](born 1943)
               There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead

        Benny Hill (1924-1992)
               Be sincere.
               Give me two personal pronouns. 'Who? Me?' Correct.

        Jerome Hillary, PhD
               AD HOC, AD LOC

        Hillel (Ist Century BCE, died 10 CE)
               What is hateful to you, you do not do to your neighbor.

        Hindu wisdom
               May all have well-being and none be in misery of any sort.

        Ιπποκρατης [Hippocrates](c.460-c.377 BCE)
               Men ought to know that from nothing else but thence (from the brain)

        Bill Hirst (born mid-XXth century)
               I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the

        Alfred Hitchcock [Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock](1899-1980)
               Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
               I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.
               The paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace the
               There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and
               These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired

        Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)
               The great masses of the people . . . will more easily fall victims
               Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no
               Strength lies not in defense but in attack.
               Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
               This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized
               The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
               What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
               Who says I am not under the special protection of God?

        Hitopadesa of Narayana (XIIth Century CE)
               A thousand reasons for worry,

        C.A.R. Hoare [Charles Antony Richard Hoare/Tony Hoare](born 1931)
               The clothes have no emperor.

        A.A. Hodge [Archibald Alexander Hodge](1823-1886)
               It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth

        Samuel Hoffenstein (1890-1947)
               When you're away, I'm restless, lonely,

        Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)
               Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is
               Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
               Propaganda does not deceive people; it merely helps them to
               When freedom destroys order, order will destroy freedom.
               When people are free to do as they please, they usually
               When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
               You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses

        Abbie Hoffman [Abbot Howard Hoffman](1936-1989)
               The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
               The first duty of a revolutionist is to get away with it.

        Dr Albert Hoffman (1906-2008)
               The characteristic property of hallucinogens, to suspend the boundaries
               Deliberate provocation of mystical experience, particularly by LSD and
               I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing
               I share the belief of many of my contemporaries that the spiritual crisis

        Dustin Hoffman (born 1937)
               A good review from the critics is just another stay of execution.

        Lisa Hoffmann
               Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and VERY important.

        Ralph Hoffmann (1870-1932)
               If a parent wishes to give his children three gifts

        Douglas R. Hofstadter [Douglas Richard Hofstadter](born 1945)
               If writers were bakers, this sentence would be exactly a dozen words long.
               The whole point of this sentence is to make clear what the whole point of

        Prof. Dr H.H. Hofstätter [Hans Helmut Hofstätter](geboren 1928)
               It is a virtue to be adolescent; the word has a special feeling about

        Alan Holbrook
               Women and cats do as they dammed well please.

        William M. Holden
               Hell is paved with good samaritans.

        Billie Holiday (1915-1959)
               Don't threaten me with love, baby.

        Chistopher Hollis [Maurice Christopher Hollis](1902-1977)
               Dignity is like a top hat. Neither is very much use when you are

        Ernest Holmes (1887-1960)
               You and I are not the same,

        John Andrew Holmes (born 1874)
               It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling

        Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr (1809-1894)
               Certitude is not the test of certainty.
               Humility is the first of the virtues for other people.
               Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

        Robert Holmes (1928-1986)
               No, "Eureka" is Greek for "This bath is too hot."

        John Holt [John Caldwell Holt](1923-1985)
               Education, with its supporting system of compulsory and competitive

        George Holyoake [George Jacob Holyoake](1817-1906)
               This I have learned from Socialism, that there can be no public or

        Harry Homes
               Ignorance is the mother of fear.

        Peter Hook (born 1956)
               There's a very fine line between being artistic and being a dickhead.

        Sidney Hook (1902-1989)
               It still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the

        J. Edgar Hoover [John Edgar Hoover](1895-1972)
               I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
               Justice is incidental to law and order.
               Justice merely is incidental to law and order.

        Nicky Hopkins (1944-1994)
               Life is for living, not prolonging.

        Pam Hopkins
               Eternal Peace

        Art Hoppe (1925-2000)
               If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

        Horace [Quintus Horatius Flaccus](65-8 BCE)
               Be prepared to go mad with fixed rule and method.
               It is your business when the wall next door catches fire.
               When evil times prevail, take care to preserve

        William Peter Horn (1774-1860)
               You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows.

        Michael Horton [Michael Scott Horton](born 1964)
               Politics is about making compromises. Religion isn't.

        A.E. Housman [Alfred Edward Housman](1859-1936)
               Malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.

        E.W. Howe [Edgar Watson Howe](1853-1937)
               Every family has a prize kin.

        Edgar Watson Howe (1853-1937)
               Reading is like permitting a man to talk a long time,

        Elbert Hubbard [Elbert Green Hubbard](1856-1915)
               Charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
               A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
               Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
               Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
               Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
               Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met
               There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier
               To escape criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
               When you can not answer your opponent's logic, do not be discouraged --

        Kin Hubbard [Frank McKinney Hubbard](1868-1930)
               Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
               No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
               Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
               When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing,

        Mark Hudis (born 1968)
               I was dating the hottest-looking girl in school. Thought I had it

        Henry E. Hudson (born 1947)
               If we relied conclusively on scientific data for every one of our findings,

        Tanya Huff (born 1957)
               Someday, I'm going to say no, I won't hold, and send somebody's secretary
               You know it's been a strange day when you're looking forward to the arrival

        Robert Hughes
               The pursuit of the Inner Child has taken over just when Americans

        Richard Hugo [Richard Hogan](1923-1982)
               Knowing can be a limiting thing.

        Victor Hugo (1802-1885)
               Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
               The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved;
               When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.

        Hungarian Proverb
               The believer is happy; the doubter is wise.

        Errol Hursh
               Though apparently the original purpose of bagpipes was to scare the

        Zora Neale Hurston (1891-1960)
               I am not tragically colored, there is no great sorrow dammed up
               It is one of the blessings of the world that few people see visions

        Robert M. Hutchins [Robert Maynard Hutchins](1899-1977)
               It has been said that we have not had the three R's in America,
               Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

        Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
               The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that,
               Chastity: the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
               Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify
               Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what
               Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
               Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
               The propagandist's purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain
               We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

        Thomas Huxley [Thomas Henry Huxley PC FRS FLS](1825-1895)
               History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge,

        I Corinthians 1:27-28, New English Bible
               Yet to shame the wise, God has chosen

        I Corinthians X:29, New International Version
               For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience?

        Dolores Ibarruri [Isidora Dolores Ibárruri Gómez/La Pasionaria](1895-1989)
               It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

        Henrik Ibsen (1828-1906)
               A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.
               Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It brings you
               Rob the average man of his life-illusion and you rob him of his happiness

        Ivan Illich (1926-2002)
               The compulsion to do good is an innate American trait. Only North Americans

        Indian proverb
               The smile that you send out returns to you.

        Indian Wisdom
               A small minded man weighs what can hinder him and fearful,

        William Ralph Inge [Dean Inge](1860-1954)
               Experience is a good teacher, but her fees are very high.
               It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism,

        Robert G. Ingersoll [Robert Green Ingersoll](1833-1899)
               The Church says that the earth is flat, but I know that it is round, for I
               Give me the storm of tempest and action, rather than the dead calm of
               God so loved the world that he made up his mind to damn a large majority of
               Heresy is a cradle; orthodoxy a coffin.
               Ignorance is the soil in which belief in miracles grows.
               Our ignorance is God; what we know is science.

        Neil Innes (born 1944)
               I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time.
               Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music, and now it's your turn.

        The Invisible Committee
               From one era to the next, the idea of virtue has never been anything but
               It is now publicly understood that crisis situations are so many
               Patriarchy survives by attributing to women all the worst attributes of
               Today the West is the GI who dashes into Fallujah on an M1 Abrams tank,
               Two economists meet. One asks the other: "You understand what's happening?"
               The world would not be moving so fast if it didn't have to constantly

        Eugene Ionesco (1909-1994)
               Mediocrity is even more dangerous in a critic than in a writer.
               To think contrary to one's era is heroism.

        Iranian proverb
               If you see a blind man, run up and kick him. Why should you be kinder

        Ισοκρατης [Isocrates](436-338 BCE)
               Remember -- no human condition is ever permanent.

        Italian proverb
               After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

        Molly Ivins [Mary Tyler Ivins](1944-2007)
               I never thought much of Pat Buchanan until I heard one of his speeches

        Ecclesiastes IX:16-18 (Vulgate, and KJV)
               Et dicebam ego, meliorem esse sapientiam fortitudine.

        J. Baldwin. BuckyWorks: Buckminster Fuller's Ideas for Today.
               Real wealth can only increase.

        Andrew Jackson (1767-1845)
               It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.

        Rev Jesse Jackson (born 1941)
               Your children need your presence more than your presents.

        H. Myles Jacob (1913-1997)
               I went to school so long ago, Ethics was a required course.

        Michael Jacobs (born mid-XXth century)
               I think we're gonna need another Timmy!

        Larry Jacobson (born mid-XXth century)
               It's not the dress that makes you look fat.

        Jeph Jacques (born 1980)
               A good relationship is like fireworks:

        Mick Jagger (born 1943)
               Too much is never enough.

        Henry James (1843-1916)
               . . . and pupil and master exchanged a longish glance
               I have no right to tamper with your flute and then criticize your music.
               To take what there is and use it, without waiting forever in vain

        P.D. James [Phyllis Dorothy James, Baroness James of Holland Park, OBE, FRSA, FRSL](born 1920)
               There comes a time when every scientist, even God, has to write off an

        William James (1842-1910)
               The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
               First, you know, a new theory is attacked as absurd; then it is admitted
               A great many people think they are thinking when they are really
               Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.
               There is no worse enemy of God and Man than zeal armed with power and
               There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.

        Japanese proverb
               Fall seven times; stand up eight.
               If you believe everything you read, better not read.
               If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.

        Derek Jarman (1942-1994)
               Heterosexuality isn't normal, just common.
               Queens Will Not be Pawns.

        Alfred Jarry (1873-1907)
               God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

        Bruno Jasieńnski [Bruno Yasensky](1901-1938)
               Do not fear your enemies. The worst they can do is kill you. Do not fear

        Javan [Dr Ali Javan](born 1946)
               I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be

        Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
               . . . when all government . . . in little as in great things, shall
               The Christian God is cruel, vindictive, capricious, and unjust.
               The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme
               Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects
               I cannot live without books.
               I consider the doctrines of Jesus as delivered by himself to contain
               I do not find in [orthodox] Christianity one redeeming feature.
               I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
               In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
               Let us, then, fellow citizens, unite with one heart and one mind. Let us
               A little rebellion now and then is a medicine
               Money, and not morality, is the principle of commerce and commercial nations.
               Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone.
               They [preachers] dread the advance of science as witches do the approach
               This is the Fourth [of July]?
               The tree of liberty must be watered periodically with the blood of tyrants
               Under the law of nature, all men are born free, every one
               We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal,
               Where a new invention is supported by well-known principles, and promises

        Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927)
               It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless,
               It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless of course you

        John Jerrard
               I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.

        Douglas William Jerrold (1803-1857)
               Blessed be the hand that prepares a pleasure for a child,

        Jewish proverb
               Don't ask questions of fairy tales.
               He who wants to live his life should equip himself

        Jinx
               Many know much about me, everyone knows something,

        Steve Jobs [Steven Paul Jobs](1955-2012)
               To seek permission is to seek denial.
               When you're young, you look at television and think, there's a conspiracy.

        Billy Joel (born 1949)
               You only beat me if you get me to hate.

        Elton John [Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE](born 1947)
               I went to a psychiatrist recently and he said, 'Were you ever molested

        Dr Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
               Boswell: That, Sir, was great fortitude of mind.
               That fellow seems to posses but one idea; and that is the wrong one.

        John Johnson (born mid-XXth century)
               First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.

        Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973)
               I do not think this generation of Americans is willing to go to bed each
               If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River,
               If two men agree on everything, you can be sure one of them is doing
               You do not examine legislation in the light of the benefits it will convey

        Philander Johnson [Philander Chase Johnson](1866-1939)
               Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

        Ralph Johnson (born 1955)
               Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable.

        Samuel Johnson, Ll.D. (1709-1784)
               Being in a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.
               Criticism is a study by which men grow important and
               The happiest part of a man's life is what he passes lying
               No mind is much employed upon the present; recollection and anticipation

        Courtway Jones [John Alan Jones](born 1923)
               I speak in paragraphs when people prefer to listen in sentences.

        Everett LeRoi Jones [Imamu Ameer Baraka](born 1934)
               God has been replaced, as he has all over the West,
               Walk through life, beautiful more than anything

        Franklin P. Jones (1908-1980)
               Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake
               It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get

        Howard Mumford Jones (1892-1980)
               Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think,

        Marvin L. Jones (1944-2008)
               Indeed, the only major difference between today's

        Thomas Jones (1892-1969)
               Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

        Erica Jong (born 1942)
               If sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities,

        Ben Jonson (1572-1637)
               Confound these ancestors . . . They've stolen our best ideas!
               Some men are born only to suck out the poison of books.

        David Starr Jordan (1851-1931)
               Wisdom is knowing what to do next. Virtue is doing it.

        Joseph Joubert (1754-1824)
               Children need models rather than critics.
               It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a

        Marcel Jouhandeau (1888-1979)
               Le coeur a ses prisons que l'intelligence n'ouvre pas.

        Benjamin Jowett (1817-1893)
               You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say.

        James Joyce [James Augustine Aloysius Joyce](1882-1941)
               Where others crouched and crawled and prayed,

        Nora Joyce (1882-1941)
               Why don't you write books people can read?

        Peggy Joyce [Peggy Hopkins Joyce](1893-1957)
               Alimony is the system by which, when two people make a mistake,

        Carl Jung [Karl Gustav II Jung](1875-1961)
               Even a lie is a psychic fact.
               Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
               We can never finally know. I simply believe that some part of the human

        John Junor [Sir John Donald Brown Junor](1919-1997)
               An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.

        Juvenal [Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis](c.60-c.140 CE)
               All wish to be learned, but no one is willing to pay the price.

        Juvenal [Decimus Iunius Iuvenalis](fl. late I - early II century CE)
               Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.

        Kabir (1440-1518)
               If a mirror ever makes you sad,

        Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
               Evil is whatever distracts.
               Love has as few problems as a motorcar. The only problems are the
               Only our concept of Time makes it possible for us to speak of the

        Rabbi Meir Kahane [Martin David Kahane](1932-1990)
               The Messiah will come. There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all

        Alice Kahn (1943-2004)
               For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality

        Kalidasa (IVth century CE)
               Salutation to the Dawn

        Wendy Kaminer (born 1949)
               The spiritual peace and enlightenment offered by pop gurus doesn't require

        Paul Kantner (born 1941)
               We are forces of chaos and anarchy

        Abraham Kaplan (1918-1993)
               I call it the law of the instrument, and it may be formulated as follows:

        Mitch Kapor [Mitchell David Kapor](born 1950)
               On Usenet elitism: This is the snobbery of the people on the Mayflower

        Alphonse Karr [Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr](1808-1890)
               The more things change, the more they stay the same.

        Mary Karr (born 1955)
               Dysfunctional family: any family with more than one person in it.

        Don B. Kates Jr (born mid-XXth century)
               Freud associates retarded sexual and emotional development not with gun

        Carl Kaufmann
               It is the duty of every citizen to be subversive.

        Walter Kaufmann (1921-1980)
               Christianity is the religion that made love a sin.

        Guy Kawasaki (born 1954)
               Saying Windows95 is equal to the Macintosh is like finding a potato that

        Alan Kay (born 1940)
               The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
               The tree of research must from time to time

        Nikos Kazantzakis (1883-1957)
               Trouble? Life is trouble. Only death is no trouble.

        John Keats (1795-1821)
               Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced;
               A thing of beauty is a joy forever

        Garrison Keillor (born 1942)
               Sometimes you just have to look reality in the eye and deny it.
               That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the men are smart, the

        Helen Keller (1880-1968)
               College isn't the place to go for ideas.
               Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,

        Hellen Keller [Helen Adams Keller](1880-1968)
               College isn't the place to go for any ideas. . . . Schools seem to love the

        David E. Kelley (born 1956)
               Love is the one game you lose by refusing to play.

        Walt Kelly [Walter Crawford Kelly Jr](1913-1973)
               He who is forewarned is forearmed, and he who is fourarmed is
               We have met the enemy, and he is us.

        Thomas à Kempis (c.1380-1471)
               Know all and you will pardon all.

        Anthony Kennedy [Anthony McLeod Kennedy](born 1936)
               The First Amendment is often inconvenient. But that is beside the point.

        John F. Kennedy [John Fitzgerald Kennedy](1917-1963)
               Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
               Happiness The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
               I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is
               I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it.
               If sometimes our great artists have been the most critical of our society,
               A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on.
               So, let us not be blind to our differences. But let us also direct
               Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution
               Too often we hold fast to the clichés of our forebears. We subject all
               Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

        Mark Kennedy (born 1957)
               All of the biggest technological inventions created by man -- the

        Jean Kerr (1922-2003)
               I'm tired of all this business about beauty being only skin deep.
               The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at

        Joan Kerr (born mid-XXth century)
               The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all

        Ken Kesey [Kenneth Elton Kesey](1935-2001)
               Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

        John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)
               Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent
               In the long run we are all dead.

        Haythum R. Khalid (born mid-XXth century)
               All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
               If you want to commit suicide, you can use my razor; it's electric,

        Omar Khayyam [Ghiyath ad-Din Abu'l-Fat'h 'Umar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam Nishapuri](1048-1131)
               Awake! For morning, in the bowl of night
               The Bird of Time
               A book of verses underneath the bough,
               The moving finger writes, and having writ,

        Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)
               Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder.
               Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when

        Søren Kierkegaard [Søren Aabye Kierkegaard](1813-1855)
               Aren't people absurd! They never use the freedoms they do have, but demand
               People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of
               Who am I? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted?

        Andy Kindler (born 1956)
               The only people who take the Bible literally are atheists and

        Florence King (born 1936)
               Children are satisfied with the stork story up to a certain age
               Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer
               I have been a misanthrope for as long as I can remember, but I didn't know

        Rev Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968)
               Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by
               I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
               In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
               It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him
               Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
               The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind.
               Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness
               A time comes when silence is betrayal.
               True peace is not the absence of tension,
               We live in a nation of guided missiles and misguided men.

        Stephen King (born 1947)
               Each life makes its own imitation of immortality.
               J.D. Salinger . . . John Knowles . . . even James Kirkwood and that
               Johnny Smith is talking to the wealthy father of the boy he's

        Morris Kingston
               To err is human, to compute divine. Trust your computer but not its

        Mrs Alfred Kinsey (fl mid-XXth century)
               I don't see much of Alfred any more since he got so interested in sex.

        Rudyard Kipling [Joseph Rudyard Kipling](1865-1936)
               All the people like us are We, And everyone else is They.
               Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
               I always prefer to believe the best of everybody.
               If
               The sin they do two by two they must pay for one by one.
               There are only two classes of mankind in the world -- doctors and patients.
               A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
               Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.

        Bill Kirchenbaum
               What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick!

        Herman Kirchenhoffer
               His heart was yours from the first moment you met.

        Henry Kissinger [Heinz Alfred Kissinger](born 1923)
               The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.
               University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

        Hakushu Kitahara (1885-1942)
               I have bought bread

        Proverbs XXIII:7, KJV
               For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

        Jenny Klein (born late-XXth century)
               I can't enjoy a world [that] I need to save.
               Spit it out, you heavenly pile of filth!

        Klingon proverb
               Pity the warrior that kills all his foes.

        R.S. Knapp
               Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed,

        Zoltán Kodály (1882-1967)
               There are areas of the soul that only music can illuminate.

        Charles Koechlin [Charles Louis Eugéne Koechlin](1867-1950)
               The artist needs an ivory tower, not as an escape from the world, but as a

        Arthur Koestler (1905-1983)
               God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out.
               Scientists are Peeping Toms at the keyhole of eternity.

        Harold E. Kohn (1914-1999)
               Brooks become crooked from taking the path of least resistance.

        Melvin Konner (born 1946)
               Well, you see, [the dinosaur archaeopteryx is] such a transitional

        Sir Alexander Korda (1893-1956)
               It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

        Damon A. Koronakos
               The sand remembers

        Alfred Korzybski (1879-1950)
               There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything
               The words we use are not the things we refer to . . . the map is not the

        Ernie Kovacs (1919-1962)
               Television -- a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.

        Jonathan Kozol (born 1936)
               Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

        Karl Kraus (1874-1936)
               The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner.
               I and my public understand each other very well: it does not hear what
               In the beginning was the review copy, and a man received it
               One's need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone.
               Technology is a servant who makes so much noise cleaning up in the next

        Nancy Kress (born 1948)
               Occam's razor isn't the only way to shave.

        Jiddu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)
               It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick
               Knowledge, idea, belief stands in the way of wisdom.

        Irving Kristol (1920-2009)
               Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions. It only

        Peter Kropotkin [Prince Pyotr Alexeyevich Kropotkin](1842-1921)
               To struggle is to live, and the fiercer the struggle the intenser the life.

        Ted Krueger (born mid-XXth century)
               I'm tired of liberals claiming that the reason why people are poor is that

        Joseph Wood Krutch (1893-1970)
               Metaphysics may be, after all, only the art of being sure of something

        Stanley Kubrick (1928-1999)
               Gentlemen, you can't fight in here -- this is the War Room!

        Milan Kundera (born 1929)
               love: A constant interrogation.

        Irv Kupcinet (1912-2003)
               What can you say about a society that says

        Harold Kushner (born 1935)
               Expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person is like

        Pedro Calderón de la Barca (1600-1681)
               Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor.

        Jean de la Bruyère (1645-1696)
               Les enfants n'ont ni passé ni avenir, et, ce qui ne nous arrive

        Mercedes Lackey (born 1950)
               Elves: can't live with 'em, and there's no resale value.
               I'm going to be just as nasty as you are -- but I'm going to do it
               It's so scary that it's almost beautiful.
               You can put a hawk in a songbird's cage, but it's still a hawk.

        Steph Lady
               I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine, and

        LadyBonBon
               I'm trapped in a phone booth at the corner of walk and don't walk

        Anthony Lake [William Anthony Kirsopp Lake/Tony Lake](born 1939)
               I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a

        Charles Lamb (1775-1834)
               Credulity is the man's weakness, but the child's strength.

        David Lammers
               Most people exhibit what political scientists call "the conservatism

        Anne Lamott (born 1954)
               Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to

        Walter Savage Landor (1775-1864)
               Proud Word You Never Spoke

        Baron Lane [Geoffrey Dawson Lane, Baron Lane AFC PC QC](1918-2005)
               Loss of freedom seldom happens overnight. Oppression doesn't stand on the

        Douglas Langdale
               It's a good thing the average person doesn't realize the awesome
               The wages of sin are death, but the hours are great.

        Chris Langham (born 1949)
               They're putting acid in the birth control pills now, so that you can take

        Bert Lantz (born 1931)
               If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

        Lao-Tzu (c.570-c.490 BCE)
               A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a

        Lao Tzu [Laozi](Zhou Dynasty, circa Fifth century BCE)
               Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while
               Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone
               The more laws and order are made prominent,
               Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

        James Lapine (born 1949)
               Children can be very queer about their animals.

        Pierre Laplace (1749-1827)
               Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

        Ring Lardner [Ringgold Wilmer Lardner](1885-1933)
               How can you write if you can't cry?

        Philip Larkin [Philip Arthur Larkin, CH, CBE, FRSL](1922-1985)
               This Be the Verse

        Doug Larson (born 1926)
               The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to
               A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

        Latin proverb (XIII century)
               PLUS VALET IN MANIBUS AVIS UNICA QUAM DUPLA SILVIS

        Anton LaVay [Anton Szandor LaVay](1930-1997)
               Blessed are the mighty-minded, for they shall ride the whirlwinds --

        Lynne Lavner (born c.1960)
               The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty

        D.H. Lawrence [David Herbert Richards Lawrence](1885-1930)
               How I hate the attitude of ordinary people to life. How I loathe
               Now the great and fatal fruit of our civilisation, which is a civilisation
               The tragedy is when you've got sex in the head instead of down where

        T.E. Lawrence [Thomas Edward Lawrence, CB, DSO](1888-1935)
               All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in

        T.K. Lawson
               There is a time in the tides of men,

        Emma Lazarus (1849-1887)
               The New Colossus

        Stephen Leacock [Stephen Butler Leacock, FRSC](1869-1944)
               A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to go out and

        Richard Leakey [Richard Erskine Frere Leakey](born 1944)
               I would go so far as to suggest that, were it not for our ego and

        Denis Leary [Denis Colin Leary](born 1957)
               Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette butt, or a chocolate

        Timothy Leary (1920-1996)
               There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory,
               There are] two basic principles by which I've lived my life: think for

        Ron Leavitt (1947-2008)
               I haven't asked for much in life, and Lord knows I've gotten it.

        Fran Lebowitz (born 1950)
               As a teenager, you are at the last stage in your life when you will
               Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
               Children are the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are
               Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't put out are ladies.
               Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and
               I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
               If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.
               Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by
               Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't
               Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra.

        Stanislaw Lec [Stanislaw Jerzy Lec](1909-1966)
               When smashing monuments, save the pedestals -- they always come in handy.

        Stanislaw J. Lec (1909-1966)
               Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man. But they don't bite everybody.

        Bruce Lee (1940-1973)
               It is futile to argue as to which leaf, which design of branch or which

        Dorothy D. Lee (1905-1975)
               . . . here is a Wintu (California) Indian describing the

        Gen. Robert E. Lee (1807-1870)
               Duty then is the sublimest word in the

        Gypsy Rose Lee (1914-1970)
               God is love, but get it in writing.
               Men aren't attracted to me by my mind.
               She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.

        Ursula K. LeGuin [Ursula Kroeber Le Guin](born 1929)
               The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.
               To light a candle is to cast a shadow.
               What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

        Karl Lehenbauer (born 1958)
               e-credibility: the non-guaranteeable likelihood that the electronic data
               My computer can beat up your computer.
               There are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs.
               UNIX: Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to
               Weekends were made for programming.

        Tom Lehrer (born 1928)
               Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared
               I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
               I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

        Carol Leigh [The Scarlet Harlot](born mid-XXth century)
               What kind of society is this that equates my acquisition of sexual

        Magda Leja [Maria Radecka](1935-2006)
               The five rules of Socialism:

        Lemmy [Ian Fraser Kilmister](born 1945)
               Safe sex, safe music, safe clothing, safe hair spray, safe ozone layer.

        Madeline L'Engle (1918-2007)
               Nothing is hopeless, we must hope for everything.

        Lenin [Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov](1870-1924)
               Every religious idea, every idea of god, even every flirtation with the

        John Lennon (1940-1980)
               And in the end,
               Don't you know that it's a fool

        Jay Leno [James Douglas Muir Leno](born 1950)
               The biggest difference between men and women -- and I think this is

        Gloria Leonard (born 1940)
               The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

        Aldo Leopold (1887-1948)
               To keep every cog and wheel is the first precaution of intelligent

        David Letterman (born 1947)
               New York . . . when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way

        Jerome Lettvin [Jerome Ysroael Lettvin](1920-2011)
               Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which

        Oscar Levant (1906-1972)
               Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.
               I have given up reading books.
               A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first.
               What the world needs is more geniuses with humility;

        Sam Levenson (1911-1980)
               The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they

        Aaron Levenstein (1911-1986)
               Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what
               Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they

        Dr Roger Levian (fl. mid-XXth Century)
               The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.

        Bernard Levin [Henry Bernard Levin](1928-2004)
               Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you.

        Ken Levine (born 1950)
               Dr Frazier Crane: Sam, may I suggest deception.
               I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring

        Leviticus 19:18, also Mark 12:31, RSV
               Love your neighbor as yourself.

        Michael Abraham Levy, Baron Levy (born 1944)
               You can bend it and twist it . . .

        C.S. Lewis [Clive Staples 'Jack' Lewis](1898-1963)
               That is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended -- civilizations

        Richard Lewis (born 1947)
               After I got sober, I achieved so much clarity that I despise myself
               During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.
               From kindergarten on, unlike Wilt Chamberlain, I've had 20,000 rashes
               I have a manufacturing plant of "emotional baggage" next to my house.
               I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
               One of my aunts knitted her own suicide note, an uncle, in his
               Stop worrying, keep laughing, and thank God you're not me.
               When I'm touring, to keep sharp, I have problems flown in
               When you're in love it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days

        Sinclair Lewis (1885-1931)
               People will buy anything that is one to a customer.

        Li T'ai Po (701-762)
               When shall there be

        Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)
               Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his

        A.J. Liebling (1904-1963)
               I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write

        James Lileks (born 1958)
               Security and liberty are like beer and TV.

        John Lilly [John Cunningham Lilly](1915-2001)
               In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true

        Rush Limbaugh (born 1951)
               We have never taxed ourselves into prosperity.

        Lin-Chi [Linji Yixuan](died 866 CE)
               If you love the sacred and despise the ordinary, you are still bobbing in

        Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
               The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. . . . I could
               He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
               He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.
               If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
               The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.
               Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
               The problem with quotes in the internet is that many are not genuine.
               Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
               Those who deny freedom to others
               To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards of men.
               We, on our side, are praying to Him to give us victory, because we believe
               What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried
               Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse
               Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see
               You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people

        James C. Lindberg (born late XIXth century)
               Retaliation

        Dr Robert M. Lindner (born early XXth century)
               You must adjust. . . . This is the legend imprinted in every

        John Vliet Lindsay (1921-2000)
               The highest form of patriotism is
               We are all under the flag.

        Judge Benjamin Barr Lindsey (1869-1943)
               I am for children first, because I am for society first,

        Graham Linehan (born 1968)
               I used to think about the future, and then it became the present, so I

        J.M. Linsner [Joseph Michael Linsner](born 1968)
               Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you.

        John Lions (1937-1998)
               On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective

        Steven Lisberger (born 1951)
               How are you going to run the universe if you can't even answer a few

        Mary Wilson Little (born 1880)
               A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick -- a youth with

        Mary Livermore [Mary Ashton Rice](1820-1905)
               To live in love is to live in everlasting youth. Whoever enters old age by

        Harold Livingston (born 1924)
               I know engineers. They love to change things.

        Lizard [lizard@mercury.interpath.net]
               I hate everybody, but I don't hate everybody equally -
               I have, for many years, longed for the coveted title of net.kook -- but
               I would rather live in a society which treated children as adults than one
               It's a pain in the butt trying to remove the chains from people who keep

        John Locke (1632-1704)
               The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.
               New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed,
               No man's knowledge here can go beyond his experience.

        Frederick Locker-Lampson (1821-1895)
               The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful.

        Vincent Thomas 'Vince' Lombardi (1913-1970)
               It's not whether you get knocked down, it's weather you get back up.
               We didn't loose the game; we just ran out of time.
               Winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is.

        Jack London [John Griffith Chaney](1876-1916)
               He led a lost cause, and he was not afraid of God's

        Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
               A boy's will is the wind's will,
               Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often
               Give what you have; to someone it may be better than you dare to think.
               If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each

        Samuel Longfellow (1819-1892)
               From hand to hand the greeting flows,

        T. Morris Longstreth [Thomas Morris Longstreth](1886-1975)
               The Two of Me

        Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
               If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

        Stephen Lord (1926-2012)
               Sometimes in the night, I would like someone to speak to.

        Audre Lorde (1934-1992)
               I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write,
               Your silence will not protect you.

        Konrad Lorenz (1903-1989)
               I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized man.

        Father Larry Lorenzoni (born c.1924)
               The average person thinks he isn't.

        Chuck Lorre [Charles Michael Levine](born 1952)
               Dr Amy Farrah Fowler (Mayim Bialik): I find the notion of romantic
               Remember, your body is a temple; however, it's also your dancehall and

        David Loughery
               I have become the nightmare you once thought me to be.

        Joe Louis (1914-1981)
               Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

        Λουκιανος [Loukianos/Lucian](120-180 CE)
               If by growing a goatee you hope to come upon wisdom,

        Courtney Love [Courtney Michelle Harrison](born 1964)
               I don't really miss God, but I sure miss Santa Claus!

        Jason Love (born late-XXth century)
               Altruism is when our selfishness benefits someone else.
               The average American attention span is . . .
               The best part about gay men is that they're not always trying to
               A concert is where they ruin all the songs you enjoyed on the radio.
               Don't count your chickens before they're all in one basket.
               Everyone has that uncle you just can't trust. Mine is Uncle Sam.
               God is whatever came before the Big Bang.
               If you go the wrong direction, everything is overseas.
               The last thing you want your relationship to become is serious.
               Let no one belittle your integrity without paying you good money
               Live each day like it's your second-to-last. That way you can fall
               Men are hit by lightning four times more often than are women, proof
               No man is an island, but many are that large.
               No means no. So does pepper spray.
               Public television is commercial-free during those brief intervals when
               The rat race is for the birds.
               The real world is a figment of our lack of imagination.
               Remember that you are totally unique just like everyone else.
               Royal gala" . . . "Rome beauty" . . . "red
               Swingers cheat on each other together.
               There is no "I" in team, but there is a "me."
               The traffic is always lighter in someone else's lane.
               The upside to dying is that you don't have to go to work the next day.
               What we could really use is freedom from the press.
               What's good for you depends largely on who sponsors the study.
               When you get mad, take ten deep breaths. If you're still mad, it's
               The world is divided into haves and have-nots: those who have a sense
               You just think it's all in your head.

        H.P. Lovecraft [Howard Phillips Lovecraft](1890-1937)
               The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human
               Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

        Bernard Lovell [Sir Alfred Charles Bernard Lovell, OBE, FRS](1913-2012)
               The challenge of space exploration and particularly of landing men on the

        James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)
               Blessed are they who have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded
               Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully

        Robert Lowell [Robert Traill Spence 'Cal' Lowell IV](1917-1977)
               If we see a light at the end of the tunnel,

        Victor Lownes [Victor Aubrey Lownes III](born 1928)
               A promiscuous person is someone who is getting more sex than you are.

        Sir John Lubbock [John Lubbock, 1st Baron Avebury](1834-1913)
               A room without books is as a body without a soul.

        E.V. Lucas (1868-1938)
               I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier

        George Lucas (born 1944)
               So this is how liberty dies, to thunderous applause.

        Clare Boothe Luce (1903-1987)
               Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail,
               Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity,
               No good deed goes unpunished.
               There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown
               Thoughts have no sex.

        Lucretius [Titus Lucretius Carus](c.99-c.55 BCE)
               NAM VELUTI PUERI TREPIDANT ATQUE OMNIA CAECIS

        Charles Fletcher Lummis (1859-1928)
               I am bigger than anything that can happen to me. All these things,

        David E. Lundstrom (born mid-XXth century)
               All the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned

        David Lynch (born 1946)
               A world is supported by four things . . . the learning of the wise, the

        Gen. Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
               Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow only by
               Our swollen budgets constantly have been misrepresented to the public.
               We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction.

        Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)
               Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level

        Ronald Campbell Macfie (1867-1931)
               Altho' the first wild rapture may depart,

        Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)
               It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
               There is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success,

        Archibald MacLeish (1892-1982)
               The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his life when he

        James Madison (1751-1836)
               What have been [Christianity's] fruits? . . . Superstition, bigotry

        Maurice Maeterlinck (1862-1949)
               All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death
               All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than

        René Magritte [René François Ghislain Magritte](1898-1967)
               Un objet ne fait jamais le même office que son nom ou que son image.

        Francis Maguire (1918-2011)
               The Strange Child

        Bill Maher [William Maher Jr](born 1956)
               Americans don't want privacy. They want attention! . . . We are a nation
               Sending someone a birthday e-card doesn't count. If you can't get your

        Gustav Mahler (1860-1911)
               Auferstehung [Resurrection]
               Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.

        Richard Maibaum (1909-1991)
               James Bond: What, do you expect me to talk?

        Maimonides [Moses Maimonides/Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon](1135-1204)
               You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes.

        Bernard Malamud (1914-1986)
               . . . he was an expert in cutting corners; and when there were

        Douglas Malloch (1877-1938)
               A little girl is lovely, I've said it many times,

        Michael Maltese (1908-1981)
               Consequences, shmonsequences! As long as I'm rich!
               Go on! Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers
               Hankerin' for trouble, eh? Well I would like--
               Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
               Oh . . . I apologize madame, for suspecting your integrity.
               The Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.

        David Mamet [David Alan Mamet](born 1947)
               Policemen so cherish their status as keepers of the peace and protectors of

        Horace Mann (1796-1859)
               Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.

        Paul Mann (1913-1985)
               We all know problems. How we meet them makes the difference.

        Thomas Mann (1875-1955)
               And his heart was stirred, it felt a father's kindness:

        Mao Tse-Tung [Mao Zedong](1893-1976)
               Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.

        Maori proverb
               Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

        Steve Maraboli (born 1975)
               People who lack the clarity, courage, or determination to follow their

        Marcel Marceau (1923-2007)
                      "

        Samuel Marchbanks
               I find that the most successful approach to the subject of babies is

        Herbert Marcuse (1898-1979)
               The people recognize themselves in their commodities; they find their

        Cheech Marin [Richard Anthony Marin](born 1946)
               I just thought of something funny . . . your mother.

        Rosa Zagnoni Marinoni (1888-1970)
               Who are My People?

        Ann Marion
               We want to fashion puppets that pull their own strings.

        Jacques Maritain (1882-1973)
               Christianity taught men that love is worth more than intelligence.

        Beryl Markham (1903-1986)
               You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other

        Brit Marling [Brit Heyworth Marling](born 1982)
               Boar: Marriage is a tax shelter for a corporation that produces a

        Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593)
               His looks do menace heaven and dare the gods.
               I count religion but a childish toy,

        Mike Marotta (born 1947)
               He doesn't play hard to get. He plays hard to want.

        Don Marquis [Donald Robert Perry Marquis](1878-1937)
               If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently
               If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if
               If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing
               One of the most important things to remember about infant care is:
               An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.

        Garry Marshall (born 1934)
               Felix: A penny for your thoughts?

        Peter Marshall (1902-1949)
               Give us clear vision that we may know where to stand and what to
               Lord, when we are wrong, make us easy to change.

        Thurgood Marshall (1908-1993)
               If the First Amendment means anything, it means that a state has no

        Martial [Marcus Valerius Martialis](40-c.103 CE)
               Tomorrow's life is too late. Live today.

        Judith Martin [Miss Manners](born 1938)
               The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a

        Steve Martin [Steven Glenn Martin](born 1945)
               I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,

        Chico Marx (1887-1961)
               I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

        Groucho Marx [Julius Henry Marx](1890-1977)
               Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
               Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
               A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child
               From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was
               From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed
               Go! And never darken my towels again!
               Here's to our wives and girlfriends . . . may they never meet!
               I cannot say that I do not disagree with you.
               I didn't like the play. But I saw it under unfavrable circumstances.
               I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.
               I intend to live forever -- or die trying.
               I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
               I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
               I'd love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
               I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
               It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your
               A man is as old as the woman he feels.
               Now there's a man with an open mind -- you can feel the breeze from here!
               Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked
               On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was
               Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow
               Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
               Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
               Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
               Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
               Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it
               Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
               Room service? Send up a larger room.
               There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
               Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.
               Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And
               Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
               Whoever named it "necking" was a poor judge of anatomy.
               Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
               You're a woman who's been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can

        Karl Marx [Karl Heinrich Marx](1818-1883)
               Die Religion . . . ist das Opium des Volkes
               Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

        John Edward Masefield (1878-1967)
               And he who gives a child a treat
               Once in a century a man may be ruined or made insufferable

        Jackie Mason (born 1931)
               I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

        Tom Masson (1866-1934)
               Hamlet is the tragedy of tackling a family problem too soon after college.

        Cotton Mather (1663-1728)
               You are young and have the world before you. Stoop as you go

        Henri Matisse [Henri Emil Benua Matisse](1869-1954)
               I would like to recapture that freshness of vision which is characteristic

        Carol Matthau [Carol Grace/Carol Marcus Saroyan](1924-2003)
               The dying process begins the minute we are born,

        Walter Matthau (1920-2000)
               I used to have a wife. Now I just lease.

        Matthew VII:6, RSV
               Do not give dogs what is holy,

        Gen. James N. Mattis (born 1950)
               Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.

        W. Somerset Maugham [William Somerset Maugham](1874-1965)
               The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
               Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
               Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
               Impropriety is the soul of wit.
               The passing moment is all that we can be sure of; it is only common
               People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
               Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.
               You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,

        Bill Mauldin [William Henry Mauldin](1921-2003)
               I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

        André Maurois (1885-1967)
               We owe to the middle ages the two worst inventions of humanity:

        Taoist maxim
               From the top of the mountain you can see everything.
               If you wish to lead, learn to follow.
               It is easier to curse a candle than to light the darkness.
               A physician heals. Nature makes well.
               There is ugliness in the pursuit of beauty.

        Rollo May (1909-1994)
               It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost

        Tim May [Timothy C. May]](born mid-XXth century)
               National borders aren't even speed bumps on the information superhighway.

        Rik Mayall [Richard Michael Mayall](born 1958)
               I don't think, therefore I am.

        William G. McAdoo (1863-1941)
               It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument.

        Peter McArthur (1866-1924)
               A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and

        Charles McCabe (1915-1983)
               Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
               Any clod can have the facts; having opinions is an art.

        Betty McCollister
               It is inconceivable that a judicious observer from another solar system

        William McFee (1881-1966)
               The world belongs to the enthusiast who keeps cool.

        Dr Phil McGraw (born 1950)
               Did you ever notice that "two plus eleven" and "one plus twelve"

        Peter T. McIntyre
               Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing

        Terence McKenna [Terence Kemp McKenna](1946-2000)
               If the words 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' don't include

        Dan McKinnon (born c.1955)
               Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.

        Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)
               The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.
               I'm always there to tell people that their life is not that bad.
               Many are saved from sin by being so inept at it.
               Our strength is often composed of the weakness we're damned if we're
               What you can't get out of, get into wholeheartedly.

        Marshall McLuhan [Herbert Marshall McLuhan, CC](1911-1980)
               The more the data banks record about each one of us, the less we exist.

        John McNulty (1895-1956)
               The cow is nothing but a machine which makes

        Margaret Mead (1901-1978)
               Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a
               I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing was to add
               If we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting values,
               Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world.

        Russell Means [Russell Charles Means](1939-2012)
               The Amish don't have the problems the native Americans do

        Peter Medawar [Sir Peter Brian Medawar, OM, CBE, FRS](1915-1987)
               If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him

        Tim Mefford
               If you don't shoot the fish in your barrel, your barrel will soon be

        Golda Meir (1898-1978)
               Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

        Daniel Menaker (born 1941)
               Do not videotape your child in the bathtub. Do not name your child

        Μενανδρος [Menander](c.341-c.290 BCE)
               He only lives, who living, enjoys life.
               We live, not as we wish to, but as we can.

        H.L. Mencken [Henry Louis Mencken](1880-1956)
               Alimony is the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
               At the bottom of Puritanism one finds envy of the fellow who is
               Bachelors have consciences. Married men have wives.
               Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be
               Ballot Box. The altar of democracy. The cult served upon it is the
               Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
               Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
               Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
               The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
               Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the
               Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and
               Every bright young man quickly learns that the moral mandates he is
               Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the
               Evil is that which one believes of others.
               Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurence of the
               The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even
               The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow
               Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties,
               An Historian is an unsuccessful novelist.
               Husband -- One who played safe and is now played safely. A No.16 neck
               Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
               I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply
               If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought
               Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
               It is [a politician's] business to get and hold his job at all costs.
               It may be said with some confidence that the average man never really
               Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
               Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
               A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married.
               Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness
               Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
               The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the
               Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life,
               No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow
               The notion that science does not concern itself with first causes -- that
               The older I get, the more I admire and crave competence, just simple
               On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
               Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
               The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
               There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
               There's always a well-known solution to every human problem -- neat,
               The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of
               The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not
               Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving
               Why assume so glibly that the God who presumably created the universe is
               Wife: a former sweetheart.
               Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent rats.
               The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is

        Johnny Mercer [John Herndon Mercer](1909-1976)
               I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

        Thomas Merton (1915-1968)
               The biggest human temptation is . . . to settle for too little.

        Jean Meslier (1664-1729)
               The world would be a better place when the last king

        Gregg Mettler (born mid-XXth century)
               Frickin' girls. Yeah, if it wasn't for the soft skin, the legs,
               It's not fair. . . . You teach your children how to walk, to use a fork,

        George Meyer (born 1956)
               I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.

        Michael Michaelian
               Not good" is a galactic understatement.

        James A. Michener [James Albert Michener](1907-1997)
               My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of

        Richard Barham Middleton (1882-1911)
               I must be content to choose my friends among youngsters;

        Midrash
               You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "but I

        John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)
               All good things which exist are the fruits of originality.
               Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are
               If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of
               War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and

        Arthur Miller (1915-2005)
               He's a man out there in the blue, ridin' on a smile and a
               The word now is like a bomb through the window, and it ticks.

        Ashley Edward Miller (born 1971)
               You can't outrun Death forever.

        Dennis Miller (born 1953)
               America has the attention span of a ferret on double espresso.
               Be kind to your children, because not only are they the future of the
               The reason that justice is blind is because lawyers have been jerking it
               These televangelists say they don't favor any particular denomination,
               What about that abortion doctor killed by pro-life activists?

        Dr Roger E. Miller (born c.1921)
               I am mentally surrounding with love

        Henry Miller (1891-1980)
               Every genuine boy is a rebel and an anarch. If he were allowed to

        John J. Miller [John Joseph Miller](born 1970)
               Laws are only words words written on paper, words that change on society's

        Olin Miller (1918-2002)
               You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you

        Spike Milligan [Terence Alan Patrick Seán Milligan KBE](1918-2002)
               Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light.
               The weather was foul, or perhaps, duck.

        Henri Marie Joseph Frédéric Expedite Millon de Montherlant (1895-1972)
               We like someone because.

        A.A. Milne [Alan Alexander Milne](1882-1956)
               Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
               It's today!" said Piglet.
               No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it
               One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly
               When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last,

        John Milton (1608-1674)
               Beneath him with new wonder now he views
               The mind is its own place, and in itself

        Thomas Mincher
               If we can not trust a freeman with his right to keep and bear arms,

        Marvin Minsky [Marvin Lee Minsky](born 1927)
               Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good.

        Joni Mitchell (born 1943)
               Don't it always seem to go

        Margaret Mitchell (1900-1949)
               Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect.

        T.F. Mitchell (fl. early XXth century)
               A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

        Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
               Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
               Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
               A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while
               A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after awhile he gets
               I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
               Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor,

        Modern proverb
               There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

        Steven Moffatt (born 1961)
               The Doctor: Who am I to argue with history?

        Jean Baptiste Poquelin Moliere (1622-1673)
               To live without loving is not really to live.

        Paul Monash (1917-2003)
               JUDD

        Paul Monette [Paul Landry Monette](1945-1995)
               Grief is a sword, or it is nothing.

        Ashley Montague [Montague Francis Ashley-Montagu] (1905-1999)
               Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty

        sometimes attributed to Montaigne [Michel Eyquem de Montaigne](1533-1592)
               Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common.
               I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
               Lend yourself to others.
               Man is certainly stark mad: he cannot make a worm, yet he will make gods by
               Stability itself is nothing but a more languid motion.
               There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
               There is no hostility that excels Christian hostility. . . . Our religion
               There were never in the world two opinions alike, any more than two hairs
               A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.

        Yves Montand (1921-1991)
               Staying young in your life has nothing to do with

        George Moore [George Augustus Moore](1852-1933)
               Physical intimacies are but surface emotions, forgotten as soon as they

        George Moore [George Augustus Moore](1873-1958)
               We live in our desires rather than in our achievements.

        Marianne Moore (1887-1972)
               Ecstasy affords the occasion and
               I May, I Might, I Must

        Frank Moorhouse (born 1938)
               My passion . . . for the young is a passion for the
               My passion . . . for the young is a passion for the whole of life at its

        Jeanne Moreau (born 1928)
               Age does not protect you from love.

        Barbara Morgan (1900-1990)
               . . . as the life style of the Space Age grows more inter-disciplinary,

        Charles Morgan (1894-1958)
               All enchantments die; only cowards die with them.

        David Watts Morgan (1867-1933)
               Day in the Morning

        Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)
               A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly
               People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves
               There is only one success:
               When you sell a man a book you don't sell him just twelve ounces of

        John Morley [1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn](1838-1923)
               Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to
               You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.

        Dick Morris (born 1948)
               When you're going to lie, lie. Don't screw around.

        Jim Morrison [James Douglas Morrison](1943-1971)
               The future's uncertain and the end is always near.

        Toni Morrison (born 1931)
               Definitions belong to the definers -- not the defined.
               I'm a controversial figure. My friends either dislike me or hate me.

        Dwight Morrow [Dwight Whitney Morrow](1873-1931)
               Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its

        David Morton (1886-1957)
               Who Walks With Beauty

        Mother Teresa of Calcutta [born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu](1910-1997)
               It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may
               One filled with joy preaches without preaching.
               ts.The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than

        Arthur H. 'Red' Motley (1900-1984)
               If the nation's economists were laid end to end, they would point in all

        Daniel Patrick Moynihan (1927-2003)
               When a person goes to a country and finds their newspapers filled

        Elijah Muhammad [Elijah Robert Poole](1897-1975)
               The most dangerous creation in the world in any society is the man

        Prophet Muhammad [Abu al-Qasim Muhammad ibn 'Abd Allah ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib ibn Hashim](c.570-632)
               The ink of the scholar is holier than the blood of the martyr.
               A man's true wealth is the good he does in the world.

        Martin Mull (born 1943)
               Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

        Joe Mullally
               I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents

        John Muncee
               You'll never be able to speak against sin if you're entertained by it.

        Edvard Munch (1863-1944)
               I would not cast off my illness, for there is much in my art that I

        H.H. Munro [Saki](1870-1916)
               Children are given to us to discourage our better emotions.
               A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
               You can't expect a boy to be depraved until he has been to a good school.

        Iris Murdoch (1919-1999)
               A bad review is even less important than whether it is raining

        Edward R. Murrow [Egbert Roscoe Murrow](1908-1965)
               Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
               We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason if we remember that

        A.J. Muste (1885-1967)
               There is no way to peace.

        Vladimir Nabokov [Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov](1899-1977)
               Life is a great surprise. I do not see why death should not be an even

        Sarojini Naidu [Sarojini Chattopadhyaya](1879-1949)
               The function of a poet is not to be merely isolated in an ivory tower

        Ogden Nash (1902-1971)
               Children aren't happy without something to ignore
               I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps,
               People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't
               Too clever is dumb.
               The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks

        Gamel Abdel Nasser (1918-1970)
               Politicians

        George Jean Nathan (1882-1958)
               Athletic sports, save in the case of young boys, are designed for idiots.
               Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
               I drink to make other people interesting.
               Patriotism, as I see it, is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate

        Native American prayer
               GREAT SPIRIT ---

        Native American saying
               Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf.

        Navajo (Native American) proverb
               You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

        Richard Needham [Richard Francis Needham, 6th Earl of Kilmorey Kt, PC](born 1942)
               Remember: While the Ark was built by amateurs, it was professionals who

        Ted Nelson (born 1937)
               Learning to program has no more to do with designing interactive software
               Software is best understood as a branch of movie making.

        Ron Nessen [Ronald Harold Nessen](born 1934)
               Nobody believes the official spokesman but everybody trusts an unidentified

        Kristin Newman (born mid-XXth century)
               Steven Hyde [Danny Masterson]: When you're deeply, truly happy,

        Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
               If I have seen farther than others,
               Some people, when they have a problem, think "I know, I'll

        Mike Nichols
               Take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete

        James D. Nicoll (born 1961)
               The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that

        Reinhold Niebuhr [Karl Paul Reinhold Niebuhr](1892-1971)
               All human sin seems so much worse in its consequences than in its
               God, give us grace to accept with serenity

        attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)
               First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out

        Friedrich Nietzsche [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche](1844-1900)
               . . . And only when ye have all denied me,
               Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the
               But the loving one loveth irrespective
               A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove
               The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world
               Christianity makes suffering contagious.
               Distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
               For must there not be that which is danced over,
               For once more will I go unto men: amongst them
               The higher we soar, the smaller we seem to those who cannot fly.
               I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.
               I love the brave: but it is not enough to be a
               If ye would go up high, then use your own legs!
               If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
               In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
               In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
               In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the
               Insanity in individuals is something rare -- but in groups, parties,
               It is not so much the suffering as the senselessness of it that
               O brethren, I consecrate you and point you to a new nobility:
               Ohne Musik wäre das Leben ein Irrtum.
               One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.
               Plato was a bore.
               Set around you small, good, perfect things,
               So unlearn, I pray you, the sorrow-sighing, and all
               Some people do not become thinkers simply because their memories are
               These Dionysiac stirrings which, as they grow in intensity, cause
               To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so
               Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker.
               The weak man makes virtues of his weaknesses.
               What hath hitherto been the greatest sin
               When you stare into the abyss too long the abyss stares back into you.
               Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego".
               Where one can no longer love,
               Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?
               Which is it: Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's
               Whoever fights monsters should see to it that he does not become a monster
               Woman was God's second mistake.
               Ye look aloft when ye long for exaltation,
               Your children's land shall ye love . . . Unto your children
               Zarathustras Mitternachtslied [Zarathustra's Midnight Song]

        Florence Nightingale (1820-1910)
               Live your life while you have it.

        Chester Nimitz [Fleet Admiral Chester William Nimitz, GCB, USN](1885-1966)
               A ship is always referred to as "she" because it costs so

        Anaïs Nin (1903-1977)
               We write to taste life twice, in the moment, and in the retrospection.

        Larry Niven (born 1938)
               Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.
               My self-control is legendary. Half history, half myth.

        Richard Milhous Nixon (1913-1994)
               Congress spends like a drunk sailor, and that's unfair for two reasons.
               I have an absolute rule.I refuse to make a decision that somebody
               I would have made a good pope.
               If you think the United States has stood still, who built the
               It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to
               The jawbone of an ass is just as dangerous a weapon today as it was in
               Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest

        Tricia Nixon (born 1946)
               You can't underestimate the power of fear.

        Dorothy Law Nolte (1924-2005)
               If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

        Gary North [Gary Kilgore North](born 1942)
               Socialism is simply Communism for people without the testosterone

        Oliver North [Oliver Laurence 'Ollie' North](born 1943)
               I'll tell you right now, I'd have offered the Iranians a free trip to

        Lord Northcliffe [Alfred Charles William Harmsworth, 1st Viscount Northcliffe](1865-1922)
               News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress.

        James Notebaart
               A FURORE NORMANORUM LIBERA NOS O DOMINE

        Philip Oakes [Philip Barlow Oakes](1928-2005)
               I could see that childhood was an invention of grown-ups, a fiction we were

        Ulrika O'Brien
               Perhaps God rewards martyrs, but life seldom does . . .

        Sean O'Casey (1880-1964)
               The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

        Basil O'Connor (1892-1972)
               The world cannot continue to wage war

        Flannery O'Connor [Mary Flannery O'Connor](1925-1964)
               Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers.
               Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers.
               There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
               Where you've been to is gone, where you're going to never was there, and

        Bryant Oden
               It is dangerous to smoke while you are becoming pregnant.
               Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

        Clifford Odets (1903-1963)
               Sex -- the poor man's polo.

        Toshio Okada (born 1958)
               Creativity will not come out of happy lives, but from people who become

        George Olson
               While I'm fully aware that money can't buy happiness,

        Ken Olson [Kenneth Harry Olson](1926-2011)
               There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

        Austin O'Malley (1858-1932)
               A book reviewer is usually a barker before the door of a

        Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
               If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
               The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

        Eugene O'Neill [Eugene Gladstone O'Neill](1888-1953)
               Critics? I love every bone in their heads.
               There is no present or future, only the past, happening over

        Yoko Ono (born 1933)
               HIDE-AND-SEEK PIECE

        J. Robert Oppenheimer [Julius Robert Oppenheimer](1904-1967)
               The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
               If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky
               We do not believe any group of men adequate enough or wise enough

        Robert Orben (born 1927)
               Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest
               Never raise your hand to your children --
               Sometimes I feel as if the whole world is against me, but i know that's
               To err is human, and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

        P.J. O'Rourke [Patrick Jake O'Rourke](born 1947)
               Always read something that will make you
               Better an unfair distribution of wealth than a perfect equality of fear.
               Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain
               Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to
               The government isn't in the business of producing results.
               How much fame, money, and power does a woman have to achieve on her own
               Marijuana is self-punishing; it makes you acutely sensitive, and in
               No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're
               Television has become the career of choice for extremely ambitious,
               The Tenth Commandment [Thou shalt not covet] sends a message to
               Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.
               You can't shame or humiliate modern celebrities. What used to be
               You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you

        José Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955)
               It is clear that the decisive form of our intercourse
               We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient

        William Aylott Orton (1889-1952)
               If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of

        George Orwell (1903-1950)
               As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism
               Big Brother is watching you.
               Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a
               The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his
               On the whole human beings want to be good,
               The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
               Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.
               They're afraid of love because Love makes a world they
               Unpopular ideas can be silenced, and inconvenient facts kept dark, without
               Whatever is funny is subversive.

        John Osborne (1929-1994)
               Critics are a dissembling, dishonest, contemptible race of men.

        Osho [Chandra Mohan Jain/Acharya Rajneesh/Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh](1931-1990)
               It is not decided by votes what is true; otherwise we could never come to
               The real enemy is no more the Soviet Union, it is America. . . . Either
               Remain ignorant if you ever want to become enlightened. Remain innocent,

        Virginia Ostman
               If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that

        Ovid [Publius Ovidius Naso](43 BCE - 17 CE)
               ADDE PARVUM PARVO MAGNUS ACERVUS ERIT
               It's useful that there should be gods, so let's believe there are.
               There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.

        Cynthia Ozick (born 1928)
               I write in terror. I have to talk mysetf into bravery with every sentence,

        Camille Paglia (born 1947)
               Identity thrives by conflict and opposition.
               A poet is not always master of his own poem,
               Sex and nature are brutal pagan forces.

        Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
               Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.
               I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman
               It is as useless to argue with those who have renounced the use and
               My country is the world, and my religion is to do good.
               Of all the tyrannies that afflict mankind, tyranny in religion is the
               A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be.
               When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue

        Michael Palin (born 1943)
               Fidgit: We should have stayed at home, making trees. . . . How

        Samuel Palmer (1805-1880)
               Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

        Palmer Home for Children, Columbus, Mississippi, credited to Taylia, age 11
               When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

        Norm Papernick (born 1975)
               Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of

        Seymour Papert (born 1928)
               BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.

        Paracelsus [Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim](1493-1541)
               He who knows nothing, loves nothing.

        Charlie Parker (1920-1955)
               Don't play the saxophone. Let it play you.

        Dorothy Parker [Dorothy Rothschild Parker](1893-1967)
               The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere
               Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
               The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
               Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
               A girl's best friend is her mutter.
               I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
               I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome,
               If you want to know what God thinks of money,
               Its voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
               Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
               Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
               The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
               Razors pain you;
               The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and
               Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
               They sicken of the calm, who know the storm.
               This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.
               The two most beautiful words in the English language are
               Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
               Work is the province of cattle.
               You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

        Ol Parker [Oliver Parker](born 1969)
               The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of

        J. Parsons
               Argument is the opiate of the net.aholics

        Lucy Parsons [Lucy Eldine Gonzalez Parsons](c.1853-1942)
               Never be deceived that the rich will allow you to vote away their wealth.

        Dolly Parton (born 1946)
               If I hadn't had them, I would have had some made.
               The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

        Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
               Je blâme également, et ceux qui prennent parti de louer
               Le cœur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point.
               Les choses valent tousjours [sic] mieux dans leur source.
               Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from
               Tout ce qu'il ya d'hommes sont presque toujours emportés à

        Boris Pasternak [Boris Leonidovich Pasternak](1890-1960)
               Man does not die like a dog

        Louis Pasteur (1822-1895)
               Dans le champs de l'observation, le hasard ne favorise que les
               Dans les champs de l'observation le hasard ne favorise que les esprits

        Alan Paton (1903-1988)
               I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they [the whites
               Meditation for a Young Boy Confirmed
               To give up the task of reforming society is to give up one's responsibility
               What broke in a man when he could bring himself to kill another?
               Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? . . . Wise men write

        John H. Patterson (1844-1922)
               An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides

        Gen. George S. Patton (1885-1945)
               Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.
               If a man does his best, what else is there?
               The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the
               A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood.

        St Paul
               7 . . . We brought nothing into this world, and we cannot take anything

        Jean Paul [Johann Paul Friedrich Richter](1763-1825)
               A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time,

        Pat Paulsen (1927-1997)
               Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
               We are upping our standards . . . so up yours.

        Octavio Paz [Octavio Paz Lozano](1914-1998)
               We are condemned to kill time: thus we die bit by bit.

        Minnie Pearl (1912-1996)
               Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

        Hesketh Pearson [Edward Hesketh Gibbons Pearson](1887-1964)
               Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

        Neil Peart [Neil Ellwood Peart, OC](born 1952)
               We're only immortal for a limited time.

        Donald Culross Peattie (1898-1964)
               Beauty is excrescence, superabundance, random ebullience, and sheer

        Dr M. Scott Peck (1936-2005)
               Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom.
               Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they

        William Penn (1644-1718)
               Force may subdue, but love wins.

        Phil Pepe (born 1935)
               Tom Seaver: Hey, Yogi, what time is it?

        Erik Pepke
               Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.

        Περικλης [Pericles](c.495-429 BCE)
               Poverty is no disgrace. The true disgrace

        Alan Perlis (1922-1990)
               A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
               You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting

        Fritz Perls [Friedrich Salomon Perls](1893-1970)
               I am what I am, and at this moment,

        Persian proverb
               He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not

        Irene Peter (born mid-XXth century)
               Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

        Laurence J. Peter [Dr Laurence Johnston Peter](1919-1990)
               Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man
               An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
               Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
               Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.
               Peter Principle, Side Issue Specialization: Look after the molehills

        Jean Antoine Petit-Senn (1792-1870)
               The hatred we bear our enemies injures their happiness less than our own.

        Petrarch [Francesco Petrarca](1304-1374)
               To be able to say how much you love is to love but little.

        sometimes attributed to Petronius [Gaius Petronius Arbiter](c.27-66 CE)
               MUNDUS VULT DECIPI ERGO DECIPIATUR
               Whose fault is it then? Is it the parents deserve censure,

        Roger Peyrefitte (1907-2000)
               Boys are like cats; they are always
               One should never lose hope. Homosexuality can strike any straight man at

        Austin Phelps (1820-1890)
               Wear the old coat and buy the new book.

        Emo Philips [Phil Soltanec](born 1956)
               A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
               I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively-well-managed
               I was reading in the paper how the Soviet Union is beating the USA

        Wendell Phillips (1811-1884)
               Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.
               The Puritan's idea of hell is a place where everybody has to mind his own

        Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
               Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
               Drink to me.
               Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
               Mechanical brains or calculating machines (computers)]

        Rt Rev James A. Pike (1913-1969)
               The marriage ceremony doesn't change the whole psyche if it (the psyche)

        Red Cloud Indian School, Pine Ridge, South Dakota
               Native American Prayer

        Sir Arthur Wing Pinero (1855-1934)
               From forty till fifty a man is at heart either a stoic or a satyr.

        Joseph Pintauro (born mid-XXth century)
               To believe in God is to build a bridge

        Pirke Avot
               Do not condemn your neighbor.
               I grew up among wise men and found that there is nothing

        Robert M. Pirsig [Robert Maynard Pirsig](born 1928)
               Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.
               There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology -- the tendency

        William Pitt (1756-1806)
               Necessity is the plea of every infringement of human freedom. It is the

        Colin Pittendrigh [Dr Colin S. Pittendrigh](1918-1996)
               Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will

        Robert Plamondon
               Ask the Koreans or the Chinese their opinion about the peace-loving Japanese.

        Πλατων [Plato](429-347 BCE)
               Attention to health is life greatest hindrance.
               Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
               Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge
               Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly,
               If man is moderate and contented, then even age is no burden.
               Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then be
               love: A grave mental disease.
               Mankind censure injustice, fearing that they may be the
               Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
               You are young, my son, and as the years go by, time will change
               You'd be shocked at how your neighbor makes love.

        P.J. Plauger (born mid-XXth century)
               If everybody's behavior can be explained by simple stupidity and greed,

        Ernst Jan Plugge
               The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the

        Plutarch [Lucius Mestrius Plutarchus](c.46-120 CE)
               I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod;

        Frederik Pohl [Frederik George Pohl Jr](born 1919)
               Pohl's law: No one is ever ready for anything.
               Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

        Jules Henri Poincaré (1854-1912)
               Science is built up of facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection

        Roman Polanski (born 1933)
               Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.

        Channing Pollock (1880-1946)
               A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

        Alexander Pope (1688-1744)
               All are but parts of one stupendous whole,
               A little learning is a dangerous thing.
               Such labored nothings in so strange a style,

        Popeye
               I yam what I yam

        Antonio Porchia (1885-1968)
               In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart

        Katherine Anne Porter (1890-1980)
               If you are required to kill someone today, on the promise of a political

        C. Portman
               When everything has been seen to work, all integrated, you have four

        Dan Post
               An egotist is a man who thinks that if he hadn't been born

        Ezra Pound (1885-1972)
               The artist is the antennae of the race.

        Paula Poundstone (born 1959)
               I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

        Jerry Pournelle [Jerry Eugene Pournelle](born 1933)
               Peace is the name of the ideal we deduce from the fact that there have been

        Terry Pratchett [Sir Terence David John Pratchett, OBE](born 1948)
               Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
               It is said that your life passes before your eyes before you die.

        Πραξιλλα [Praxilla of Sikyon](c.450 BCE)
               Under cover

        W.B. Prescott (1864-1916)
               In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

        Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
               I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

        Ross Presser (born mid-XXth century)
               Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.

        Hilary B. Price (born 1969)
               This is the 90s. You don't practice non-monogamy, you practice

        Pro Arts, Inc.
               Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.

        Herbert Prochnow (1897-1998)
               A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.

        Sextus Aurelius Propertius (c.45-c.15 BCE)
               Be of good cheer; after sad and evil days hurries the

        Πρωταγορας [Protagoras of Abdera](c.490-420 BCE)
               Man is the measure of all things.

        French students during 1968 protests
               Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho.

        Marcel Proust (1871-1922)
               The stellar universe is not so difficult to understand as the real

        Proverbs 26:27
               Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone,

        Proverbs XVII:17
               A brother is born for adversity.

        Psalm LV:1-7, New English Bible
               Listen, O God, to my pleading,

        William Watson Purkey (born 1929)
               You've gotta dance like there's no one watching,

        Thomas Pynchon [Thomas Ruggles Pynchon Jr](born 1937)
               If they can get you asking the wrong questions,

        Knights of Pythagoras
               No man ever stands so straight as when he

        Πυϑαγορας [Pythagoras](580-500 B.C.E.)
               Rest satisfied with doing well

        J. Danforth Quayle (born 1947)
               If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

        Don Quinn
               A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman

        Zygmundt R.
               You know why there are so few sophisticated computer terrorists in the

        François Rabelais (1483-1553)
               A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell.

        Sri Ramakrishna [born Gadadhar Chattopadhyay](1836-1886)
               The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters;

        Harold Ramis [Harold Allen Ramis](born 1944)
               You can never get enough of what you don't really need.

        Joey Ramone [Jeffrey Ross Hyman](1951-2001)
               Lack of skill dictates economy of style.

        Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
               Do not beg for alms from those who have robbed you.
               It only stands to reason that where there's sacrifice, there's someone
               The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.

        John Randolph [John Randolph of Roanoke](1773-1833)
               I love liberty, I hate equality.

        Jeff Raskin (1943-2005)
               Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the

        Mitch Ratcliffe (born mid-XXth century)
               A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human
               A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention

          Dennis Rawlins (born 1937)
               Those who believe in astrology are living in houses with foundations of

        Dixy Lee Ray (1914-1994)
               A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating, because 300 people

        Sir Herbert Edward Read (1893-1968)
               A people without a religion of beauty inhabit a waste land.

        Ronald Reagan [Ronald Wilson Reagan](1911-2004)
               A tree is a tree -- how many more do you need to look at?

        Lou Reed (1942-2013)
               Her life was saved by rock 'n' roll.

        M.C. Reed
               Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.

        Thomas B. Reed [Thomas Brackett Reed](1839-1902)
               One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at

        Kate Reid (1930-1993)
               Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion.

        Rob Reiner (born 1947)
               In the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, it's often useful to have a nice,

        Judy Reiser (born mid-XXth century)
               Some idiosyncrasies you might be somewhat embarrassed about, others you

        Jules Renard (1864-1910)
               Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

        Mary Renault (1905-1983)
               All-knowing Zeus, give me what is best for me. Avert evil from me,
               But our teacher says that the nature of Helios is a secret of the god;
               Is it better to suffer evil, or to do it?
               One exercises to be a whole man,
               Order is the first half of a decent life.
               Pray rightly, that at each time of your life your desires may be
               We shall either find what we are seeking, or free ourselves
               You never learn how much your courage owes to the wish for a good name

        Pierre-Auguste Renoir (1841-1919)
               I consider that women who are authors, lawyers and politicians

        James Reston (1909-1995)
               A newspaper column, like a fish, should be consumed when fresh;

        Quentin Reynolds [Quentin James Reynolds](1902-1965)
               It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.

        Adrienne Rich (1929-2012)
               Lying is done with words and also with silence.

        Little Richard [Richard Wayne Penniman](born 1932)
               Its not the size of the ship, its the size of the waves.

        Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825)
               What a father says to his children is not heard by the world,

        Adam Rifkin (born mid-XXth century)
               The more bicep curls you do, the easier it is to pick people up.

        Dennis M. Ritchie [Dennis MacAlistair Ritchie](1941-2011)
               A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program

        Guy Ritchie [Guy Stuart Ritchie](born 1968)
               A little bit of pain never hurt anybody.

        Michael Rivero (born 1952)
               Everyone likes to say Hitler did this and Hitler did that. But the truth
               Stopping terrorism is simple. Just quit screwing around with other people's

        Joan Rivers [Joan Alexandra Molinsky](born 1933)
               The nearest I ever had to a mink coat when I was younger, I got me a coat

        Harold Robbins (1916-1997)
               Hemingway was a jerk.

        Tom Robbins [Thomas Eugene Robbins](born 1936)
               The difference between us and Helen Keller is she knew she was deaf and blind.
               When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free.

        Stephen F. Roberts
               I contend we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god

        Frederick William Robertson (1816-1853)
               Make few explanations. The character that cannot defend itself

        Dennis Roch (born 1973)
               If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it

        La Rochefoucauld [François VI, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Prince de Marcillac](1613-1680)
               Il est du véritable amour comme de l'apparition des esprits:
               Il n'y a point de gens qui aient plus souvent tort que ceux qui
               L'esprit nous sert quelquefois à faire hardiment des sottises.
               Les vieillards aiment à donner de bons préceptes, pour se
               Notre repentir n'est pas tant un regret du mal que nous avons fait,
               Nous aimons toujours ceux qui nous admirent;
               Quand on ne trouve pas son repos en soi-même,

        Gene Roddenberry (1921-1991)
               He's dead, Jim.
               We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God,

        Richard Rodgers (1902-1979)
               Perhaps I had a wicked childhood,

        Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917)
               I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

        Paul Rodriguez (born 1955)
               Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.

        James M. Rogers Jr (born mid-XXth century)
               First we must develop trust,

        Kenny Rogers (born 1938)
               Don't be afraid to give up the good for the great.

        Will Rogers [William Penn Adair Rogers](1879-1935)
               Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
               Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!" until you can
               Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are
               Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just
               Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
               Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.
               I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like
               I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
               If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
               There's no trick to being a humorist when you have
               Tilt this country on end and everything loose will slide into Los Angeles.
               We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb
               What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
               You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every

        Henry Rollins (born 1961)
               Do you see now that your self-righteousness was nothing more than

        Roman proverb
               The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one

        Ray Romano (born 1957)
               Everyone should have kids. They're the greatest joy in the world.

        Romans XIII:8, RSV
               Owe no one anything, except to love one another;

        Hugh Romney [Wavy Gravy](born 1936)
               The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

        Andy Rooney (1919-2011)
               The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books -- how
               Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the

        Don Roos (born 1955)
               You've got a death wish. So selfish. [pause] I have one too, but I

        Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)
               Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will,
               The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
               No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
               Spiritual leadership should remain spiritual leadership and the temporal
               Those of us who believe in the right of any human being to belong to

        Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945)
               A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has
               The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the contry demands

        Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)
               All daring and courage, all iron endurance of misfortune -- make for
               Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes
               Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an
               Courage, hard work, self-mastery, and intelligent effort are all
               Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
               I want to see you game, boys, I want to see you brave and manly,
               It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
               Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.
               A man's usefulness depends upon his living up to his ideals insofar as
               Only those are fit to live who do not fear to die; and none are fit

        Billy Rose (1899-1966)
               Never invest in anything that eats or needs painting.

        Elinor K. Rose (1910-1993)
               You teach your son to think, not guess,

        William Rose (1914-1987)
               What happens to men when they grow old? Why do they forget

        Gavin Rossdale (born 1965)
               Piss on self esteem.

        Christina G. Rossetti (1830-1894)
               Better by far you should forget and smile

        Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)
               Mr Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

        Edmond Rostand [Edmond Eugène Alexis Rostand](1868-1918)
               Here comes, thank God, another enemy!

        Jean Rostand (1894-1977)
               Kill a man, and you are an assassin. Kill millions of men, and you are a
               To be adult is to be alone.

        Leo Rosten (1908-1997)
               Conservative: One who admires radicals a century after they're dead.
               Where was it ever promised us that life on this earth can ever be easy,

        Leo C. Rosten (1908-1997)
               I learned that only the weak are cruel, and that

        Gian-Carlo Rota (1932-1999)
               A technique is a trick that works.

        The Rotary Club
               The "Rotary" four-way test of the things

        Eric Roth (born 1945)
               Do not make excuses unless you have to.

        Erasmus of Rotterdam [Desiderius Erasmus](1466-1536)
               In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
               M[ARCUS]. TULLIUS [CICERONIS] . . . DIVINITAS OCCUPARIT
               War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

        Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778)
               Take the course opposite to custom and you will almost always do well.

        Helen Rowland (1875-1950)
               Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.
               To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but

        Helen Rowland (1876-1950)
               A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

        Mike Royko (1932-1997)
               If God dislikes gays so much, how come he picked Michaelangelo, a known

        Rita Rudner (born 1953)
               I want to have children and I know my time is running out: I want to

        Quintus Curtius Rufus (born mid-I century)
               Fear makes men believe the worst.
               I would rather suffer defeat than have cause to be ashamed of victory.

        John D. Rugge
               Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at

        Muriel Rukeyser (1913-1980)
               The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

        Damon Runyon [Alfred Damon Runyon](1880-1946)
               The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong,

        John Ruskin (1819-1900)
               The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it,

        Bertrand Russell [Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell](1872-1970)
               Africans had to be taught that nudity is wicked; this was done very
               Certain mental habits are commonly instilled by those who are engaged in
               The Christian view that all intercourse outside marriage is immoral was,
               Discipline, as it exists in schools, is very largely an evil. There is
               The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not
               Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation,
               I do not think there can be any defence for the view that knowledge is
               I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
               The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight
               It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact
               It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if
               The joy of mental adventure is far commoner in the young than in grown
               Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in
               Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.
               Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin,
               Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth, more than ruin,
               Morality in sexual situations, when it is free from superstitions, consists
               Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
               One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the
               People seem good while they are oppressed but they only wish to become
               The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego
               The prevention of free inquiry is unavoidable so long as the purpose of
               The psychology of adultery has been falsified by conventional morals which
               Should the working man think freely about property? Then what will
               So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels
               A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate,
               There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily
               To fear love is to fear life,
               To realize the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom.
               The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the

        Mark Russell (born 1932)
               Some people say, 'If you have homosexual teachers,
               Young people, take heart: the older you get, the fewer commandments

        Russian proverb
               All that trembles doesn't fall.
               All the brave men are in prison.
               A bad compromise is better than a good battle.
               Be friends with the wolf, but keep one hand on your ax.
               Bullets don't respect uniforms.
               Great is Holy Russia, but the sun shines elsewhere, too.
               In this world, not everyone with a long knife is a cook.
               Life is unbearable, but death is not so pleasant either.
               Make yourself into a sheep, and you'll meet a wolf nearby.
               Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
               We die as we are born: without hair, without teeth, and without illusions.

        Ernest Rutherford [1st Baron Rutherford of Nelson](1871-1937)
               All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

        Saadi [Abu-Muhammad Muslih al-Din bin Abdallah Shirazi, Saadi Shirazi](1184-c.1283)
               To give pleasure to a single heart by a single kind act is better than a

        Hassan-i Sabbah [Hasan ibn al-Sabbah](c.1050-1124)
               Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

        Douglas Sadownick (born 1959)
               Love cannot exist without the bad breath and bad jokes and bad faith that

        Carl Sagan [Carl Edward Sagan](1934-1996)
               I believe that part of what propels science is the thirst for wonder.
               If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create
               They laughed at Einstein.
               Wow! There must be hundreds of them!

        Françoise Sagan (1935-2004)
               A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.

        Mort Sahl (born 1927)
               Woody Guthrie had a sign written on the back of his guitar,

        Antoine de St Exupéry [Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint Exupéry](1900-1944)
               Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but

        Edna St Vincent Millay (1892-1950)
               It's not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's the same

        Peter Saint-André (born mid-XXth century)
               If you can conceive of morality without god, why can you not conceive of

        Andrei Sakharov (1921-1989)
               You always need to make

        Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg (born 1961)
               It takes a lot of guts to be happy.

        Soupy Sales [Milton Supman](1926-2009)
               Why is it every time I write 'f', you see 'k'?

        J.D. Salinger (1919-2010)
               You don't have to think too hard when you talk to a teacher.

        Lord Salisbury [Robert Arthur Talbot Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury, KG, GCVO, PC](1830-1903)
               If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the

        Victor Salva (born 1958)
               It has become appallingly clear that our technology has exceeded

        R.A. Salvatore [Robert Anthony Salvatore](born 1959)
               Where in the Nine Hells did you ever get the idea that I would fight fair?

        Heidi Sandige
               Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

        George Santayana (1863-1952)
               A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should
               The need of exercise is a modern superstition, invented by
               Sanity is a madness put to good uses.
               Skepticism, like chastity should not be relinquished too readily.

        Alan Saporta (born c.1970)
               The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.

        Sarah
               The world is a wonderful place and everyone should shut up and enjoy it

        William Saroyan (1908-1981)
               Kids are always the only future the human race has.

        May Sarton [Eleanore Marie Sarton](1912-1995)
               Solitude is the salt of personhood. It brings out the authentic

        Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
               The artist must go too far, so that other people
               Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
               Hell is other people.
               Like all dreamers, I mistook disenchantment for truth.
               When the rich make war it's the poor that die.

        John Ralston Saul (born 1947)
               When encouraged as a social attitude, [optimism] is an infantilizing

        Mario Savio (1943-1996)
               There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious . . .

        Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)
               Es ist schimpflich eine Börse zu leeren - es ist frech, eine Million
               Nur die, die die Geduld haben, einfache Dinge perfekt zu machen werden

        Harrison H. Schmitt [Dr Harrison Hagan 'Jack' Schmitt](born 1935)
               What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go

        Bruce Schneier (born 1963)
               Trying to make bits uncopyable is like trying to make water not wet.

        Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
               All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed.
               I believe that when death closes our eyes
               A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.

        Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000)
               Charlie Brown: What happened to fun?
               Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
               I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.
               Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone
               There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

        Lynne Sharon Schwartz (born 1939)
               Sometimes at the peak of intoxicating pleasures, I am visited by a

        Stephen Schwartz [Stephen Lawrence Schwartz](born 1948)
               Rivers belong where they can ramble

        Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf [Herbert Norman Schwarzkopf Jr](born 1934)
               Going to war without the French is like going deer-hunting without your

        Dr Martin Schwarzschild (1912-1997)
               The idea of man leaving this earth and flying to another celestial body and

        Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)
               As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds
               I think that no one should compel himself to show to others more of
               We have too long been occupied with the developing series of our own

        Zachary Scott (1914-1965)
               As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret

        Scottish proverb
               Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead.

        Sean
               It was a train of thought . . . it just didn't have a caboose.

        Gen. John B. Sedgwick (1813-1864)
               They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist . . .

        Jerry Seinfeld (born 1954)
               Fathers Day: Oh, my God, we forgot about Dad again. Let's get him

        Maurice Sendak (1928-2012)
               There must be more to life than having everything!
               There must be more to life than having everything.

        Seneca [Lucius Annaeus Seneca the Younger](c.4 BCE-65 CE)
               DUM DIFFERTUR VITA TRANSCURRIT
               ERIPERE VITAM NEMO NON HOMINI POTEST AT NEMO MORTEM
               LEGES . . . NON PERSUADENT QUIA MINANTUR AT HAEC [PRAECEPTA] NON COGUNT
               Money has never yet made anyone rich.
               NEMO QUAM BENE VIVAT SED QUAM DIU CURAT CUM OMNIBUS POSSIT CONTINGERE
               NON EST AD ASTRA MOLLIS E TERRIS VIA
               NON QUI PARVUM HABET SED QUI PLUS CUPIT PAUPER EST
               NON REFERT QUAM MULTOS SED QUAM BONOS HABEAS
               NULLUM MAGNUM INGENIUM SINE MIXTURA DEMENTIAE
               QUIDQUID DIXI CUM RECOGITO MUTIS INVIDEO

        Harold Sensor
               As one friend to another said,

        Rod Serling [Rodman Edward "Rod" Serling](1924-1975)
               It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive

        Eric Sevareid [Arnold Eric Sevareid](1912-1992)
               The bigger the information media, the less courage and freedom they allow.
               The biggest big business in America is not steel, automobiles, or
               The chief cause of problems is solutions.
               Consultant: any ordinary guy more than fifty miles from home.
               I'm sort of a pessimist about tomorrow and an optimist about the day
               Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is
               No man was ever more than about nine meals away from crime or suicide.
               Saints are usually killed by their own people.
               With breathtaking rapidity, we are destroying all that was lovely to look

        Jay Severin (born 1951)
               Being part of Libertarianism is like being a member of a nudist colony.

        Geoff Shackelford (born late-XXth century)
               As the publishing industry implodes . . . like in the music industry,
               You should smell a rat whenever you hear, "brand",

        Mary Shafer
               Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to

        Robert Shafer (born c.1900)
               . . . happiness is a by-product, never to be won by him

        Jack T. Shakespeare
               It isn't whether you win or lose, it's how much money you end up with.

        William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
               And these few precepts in thy memory
               Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways.
               Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
               Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
               Glendower: I can call spirts from the vasty deep.
               I have of late -- but wherefore I know not -- lost all my mirth,
               O, wonder!
               Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright.
               Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
               Soft you, a word or two before you go.
               T is the mind that makes the body rich.
               They'll have me whipped for speaking true; thou'lt have me whipped for
               When, in disgrace with fortune and mens eyes,
               Wisdom and goodness to the vile seem vile.

        Assata Shakur [Assata Olugbala Shakur](born 1947)
               They say you're crazy

        Karl Shapiro [Karl Jay Shapiro](1913-2000)
               To make a child in your own image is a capital crime, for your

        Margery Sharp (1905-1991)
               My mental facilities are twice what yours are -- you pea brain!

        Melville Shavelson (1917-2007)
               Blood's not thicker than money.

        George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
               All great truths begin as blasphemies.
               Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
               A child hasn't a grown-up person's appetite for affection. A little of
               Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
               Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their
               A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
               Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
               The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more
               The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point
               Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an
               A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition,
               A government that robs Peter to pay Paul
               I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way of
               If you leave the smallest corner of your head vacant for a
               It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
               Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it
               The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything,
               Martyrdom . . . is the only way a person can become famous without ability.
               Patriotism is a pernicious, psychopathic form of idiocy.
               Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other
               Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read
               Reasonable men adapt to the world. Unreasonable men adapt the world to
               Reviewing has one advantage over suicide: In suicide you take it
               There are scores of thousands of human insects who are ready at a
               There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded
               There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
               There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
               Those who understand evil pardon it; those who resent it destroy it.
               The thought of 2000 people munching celery at the same time horrifies me.
               Why was I born with such contemporaries?
               The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.

        John A. Shedd [John Augustus Shedd](1859-1928)
               A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

        Arthur Sheekman [Arthur Grant Sheekman](1901-1978)
               You're fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did.

        Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792-1822)
               Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind.

        Mark Shepherd (died 2011)
               Death has a way of getting your attention.
               Funerals are for the living, not the dead.

        Gen. Philip Henry Sheridan (1831-1888)
               No matter if you are hidden in an obscure post, never content yourself

        David Sherwin (born 1942)
               Revolution is the opium of the intellectuals.

        Ian Shoales [Merle Kessler](born 1949)
               As the technology becomes more and more sophisticated, once they're able

        Dinah Shore [Frances Rose Shore](1916-1994)
               Trouble is part of your life -- if you don't share it, you don't give the

        Susan Shwartz (born 1949)
               I don't so much suspend disbelief as joyously throw it away.

        Stirling Silliphant (1918-1996)
               What's enough love?

        Shel Silverstein [Sheldon Allan Silverstein/Uncle Shelby](1930-1999)
               Hug o' War

        Dave Sim [David Victor Sim](born 1956)
               Falling in love makes smoking pot all day look like the ultimate in

        John Simon [John Ivan Simon](born 1925)
               Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men
               Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the
               It is proof of the uncultivatedness of this society [America] that it

        Lee Simonson (1888-1967)
               Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a

        Rev Paul Simpson
               I have not really been close to a man

        William Simpson [William Gayley Simpson](1892-1991)
               What are the politicians going to tell people when the Constitution is gone

        Tom Sims (1950-2012)
               My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up,

        Isaac Bashevis Singer (1904-1991)
               God is the sum of all possibilities.

        Michael Sinz (born mid-XXth century)
               Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for

        Edith Sitwell (1887-1964)
               The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.

        Red Skelton [Richard Bernard Skelton](1913-1997)
               A clown is a warrior who fights gloom.

        B.F. Skinner [Burrhus Frederic Skinner](1904-1990)
               Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
               The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
               Society attacks early, when the individual is helpless.

        V.P. Skipper
               A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old

        John Sloan (1871-1951)
               Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them

        Lewis B. Smedes [Lewis Benedictus Smedes](1921-2002)
               To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the

        Samuel Smiles (1812-1904)
               The habit of viewing things cheerfully and thinking about life

        Adam Smith (1723-1790)
               The man scarce lives who is not more credulous than he ought to be and who

        Alexander Smith (1830-1867)
               In life there is nothing more
               Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the
               A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of

        Elinor Goulding Smith (1917-1978)
               It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born.

        Goldwin Smith (1823-1910)
               Above all nations is humanity.

        H. Allen Smith (1907-1976)
               When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course

        Harvey Smith (born late-XXth century)
               Werewolves don't exist, I told myself, shooting at the one closest to me.

        Mrs Hester Travers Smith [Hester Dowden](1868-1949)
               Being dead is the most boring experience in life, that is if one excepts

        Sydney Smith (1771-1845)
               Life is to be fortified by many friendships.
               There is an event recorded in the Bible, which men who write books

        C.P. Snow [Charles Percy Snow](1905-1980)
               Civilization is hideously fragile . . . there's not much

        Joseph Sobran (1946-2010)
               In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school
               When a politician wrestles with his conscience, he usually wins.

        Σωκρατης [Socrates](c.469-399 BCE)
               By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
               He who is not contented with what he has
               Live best by what you believe is the truth.
               My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be
               The unexamined life is not worth living.
               Virtue does not come from money,
               What a blessing it would be for young people if only a single one corrupts

        Alexander Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008)
               A hard life improves the vision.
               Just understand one thing and pass it along

        William Somerville [William Somervile](1675-1742)
               Banish those vermin of debate

        S.P. Somtow [Somtow Papinian Sucharitkul](born 1952)
               Life is a slow dance between death and desire.
               The path to the summit of the world is through the center of hell.

        Song of Songs [Song of Solomon] VIII:7
               Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

        Susan Sontag (1933-2004)
               I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them.

        Σοφοκλης [Sophocles](c.496-406 BCE)
               No one loves the messenger who brings bad news.
               There is a point beyond which even justice becomes unjust.
               To be happy, it is first of all necessary

        Terry Southern (1924-1995)
               A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.
               A life without cause is a life without effect.

        Thomas Sowell (born 1930)
               Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an

        Gene Spafford [Eugene Howard Spafford/Spaf](born 1956)
               Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive,

        Spanish proverb
               Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.
               I don't want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap.

        Robert D. Specht (1913-?)
               Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some

        Henry Spencer (born 1955)
               Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.

        Herbert Spencer (1820-1903)
               Civilization is a progress from an indefinite, incoherent homogeneity

        Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)
               All for love, and nothing for reward.

        Steven Spielberg [Steven Allan Spielberg](born 1946)
               Gigolo Joe (Jude Law): They hate us, you know, the humans. They'll

        Dr Benjamin Spock [Benjamin McLane Spock](1903-1998)
               Like my parents, I have never been a regular church member or churchgoer.
               There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable

        Joseph Stalin [Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin](1878-1953)
               Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have
               A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

        Richard Stallman [Richard Matthew Stallman/RMS](born 1953)
               Standing up to an evil system is exhilarating.

        Philip Stanhope [Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield PC KG](1694-1773)
               An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions.
               Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
               Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not

        Bessie Anderson Stanley (1879-1952)
               He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;
               Success

        Star Trek proverb
               Live long and prosper." --Vulcan proverb

        Philip Stark (born late-XXth century)
               It is better to have loved and lost than to be butt-ugly.

        Philip Stark (born mid-XXth century)
               During an argument between two of the main characters]:

        Enid Starkie [Enid Mary Starkie CBE, Litt.D](1897-1970)
               Unhurt people are not much good in the world.

        Danielle Steel (born 1947)
               A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients

        Rod Steiger (1925-2002)
               I'd rather have agony with the possibility of joyous adventure
               If we can get through a day in our society [doing our best],

        Harry Stein (born 1948)
               The telethon invokes in me more terror than mirth. The spectacle of all

        Leo Daniel Stein (1872-1947)
               The wise man questions the wisdom of others because he questions his own,

        John Steinbeck [John Ernst Steinbeck Jr](1902-1968)
               A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.

        Gloria Steinem (born 1934)
               The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but
               Logic is in the eye of the logician.
               Some women and men seem to need each other.

        Jim Steinman (born 1947)
               You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life, and now you wonder

        Charles Proteus Steinmetz (1865-1923)
               No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.

        Wilhelm Stekel (1868-1940)
               The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause,

        Casey Stengel [Charles Dillon Stengel](1890-1975)
               All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

        Leslie Stephen [Sir Leslie Stephen, KCB](1832-1904)
               Gentlemen . . . wait till your divine revelations have something more
               If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
               Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is

        Neal Stephenson [Neal Town Stephenson](born 1959)
               For a Westerner to trash Western culture is like criticizing our

        Noah Stern (born mid-XXth century)
               The guy just wanted a kiss, not the story of O.

        Lord Steven
               Miss Manners is one of the rudest people I have ever come across.

        Cat Stevens [Yusuf Islam/Steven Demetre Georgiou](born 1948)
               You can treat the world like a piece of dust

        Wallace Stevens (1879-1955)
               A poet looks at the world like a man looks at a woman.

        Adlai Stevenson [Adlai Ewing Stevenson II](1900-1965)
               Accuracy is to a newspaper what virtue is to a lady,
               Flattery is all right so long as you don't inhale.
               A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular.
               In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
               Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he
               Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to
               My definition of a free society is a society where it is
               There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now
               The time to stop a revolution is at the beginning, not the end.

        Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)
               The cruelest lies are often told in silence.
               That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much,
               Them that die 'll be the lucky ones.

        Jon Stewart [Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz](born 1962)
               We need religion to give grace and comfort to a world torn apart

        Mary Stewart [Mary Florence Elinor Stewart](born 1916)
               To remember love after long sleep; to turn again to poetry after a year

        Potter Stewart (1915-1985)
               Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.

        Mark Steyn (born 1959)
               That's my basic rule: whatever the problem, the government's a bigger one.

        Stephen Stills (born 1945)
               There are three things a man can do with women:

        Clifford Stoll (born 1951)
               Treat your password like your toothbrush.
               Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?

        I.F. Stone [Isidor Feinstein Stone](1907-1989)
               Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed.

        Peter Stone (1930-2003)
               This is a revolution, damn it! We're going to have to offend

        Sherri Stoner (born 1965)
               This looks like a job for . . . someone else!

        Tom Stoppard [Tomáš Straüssler](born 1937)
               I'm going to be dead before I read the books I'm going to read.
               It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
               It's not the voting that makes Democracy, it's the counting!

        David Storey (born 1933)
               I was remarking to my friend earlier this morning:

        J. Michael Straczynski (born 1954)
               Find what scares you and do it.
               I used to wish the universe were fair. Then one day it hit me: What if
               The innocent lie because they don't want to be blamed for something they
               Liberty is always at peril; only the degree of the threat varies
               There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness
               Worst case of testosterone poisoning I've ever seen.
               You are not ready for immortality.

        J. Michael Straczynsky (born 1954)
               If you do not choose to lead, you will forever be led by others.
               Never follow somebody else's path; it doesn't work the same way twice

        Στρατων [Straton of Sardis/Strato](IIIrd century CE)
               Boys are a labyrinth of no escape.

        Igor Stravinsky [Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky](1882-1971)
               I am in the present. I cannot know what tomorrow will bring forth.
               Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

        Johan August Strindberg (1849-1912)
               Sacred family! Thou art supposed to be the home of the virtues, where

        Charles William Stubbs (1845-1912)
               To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

        Theodore Sturgeon [Edward Hamilton Waldo](1918-1985)
               Sturgeon's Revelation: Ninety percent of everything is crud.

        Susanna J. Sturgis (born mid-XXth century)
               Typos are Coyote padding through the language, grinning.

        Su Tung-p'o [Su Shi](1037-1101 CE)
               Families, when a child is born

        Jean-Baptiste Antoine Suard (1732-1817)
               We attract hearts by the qualities we display; we retain them by the

        Dr Wafa Sultan (born 1958)
               Brother, you can believe in stones, as long as you do not throw them at me.

        William Graham Sumner (1840-1910)
               As soon as A observes something which seems to him to be wrong, from which
               He who would be well taken care of must take care of himself.

        Sun Tzu (c.544-c.496 BCE)
               Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

        Sun Yat-Sen (1866-1925)
               Trust is earned by many deeds, and lost by only one.

        Shunryu Suzuki (1904-1971)
               In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's

        Rev. Jimmy Swaggart (born 1935)
               Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact.

        Michael Swanwick (born 1950)
               This was the ultimate form of ostentation among technology freaks -- to

        Harry L. Swartzberg (fl. mid-XXth century)
               The Swartzberg Test:

        Madame Swetchine [Anne Sophie Swetchine](1782-1857)
               Kindness causes us to learn, and to forget, many things.

        Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
               As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so
               I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance
               May you live all the days of your life.
               May you live every day of your life.
               SAEVA INDIGNATIO COR ULTERIUS LACERARE NEQUIT
               There is nothing in this world constant, but inconstancy.
               When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign:

        Barry Switzer (born 1937)
               Some people are born on third base and go through life
               Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they

        Publilius Syrus (Ist century BCE)
               IN NULLUM AVARUS BONUS EST IN SE PESSIMUS
               MAGISTER USUS OMNIUM EST RERUM OPTIMUS
               MALUM EST CONSILIUM QUOD MUTARI NO POTEST
               QUI CULPAE IGNOSCIT UNI SUADET PLURIBUS

        Thomas Szasz (born 1920)
               A child becomes an adult when he realizes he has a right not only to be
               Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly often attributed by
               If you talk to God, you are praying.
               If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have

        Albert Szent-Gyorgi (1893-1986)
               Discovery conceits in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking
               Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and thinking

        Tacitus [Gaius/Publius Cornelius Tacitus](56-117 CE)
               They made a wasteland and called it peace.

        Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
               Do not confine your children to your own learning,

        Haruka Takachiho (born 1951)
               But it's NOT OUR FAULT!!!

        S.G. Tallentyre [Evelyn Beatrice Hall](1868-1956)
               I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right

        Talleyrand [Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord](1754-1838)
               I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than an army of 100

        The Talmud
               Condemn no man and consider nothing impossible; for there is
               The whole worth of a kind deed lies in the love that inspires it.

        Andrew S. Tanenbaum (born 1944)
               The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to

        Kendra Tarket
               All the world's a stage, and everybody wants to direct.
               I have never intentionaly smoked anything.
               You know that you've been a rock star too long when the clothes you became

        Booth Tarkington (1869-1946)
               From eight to fourteen is a period of life piquantly interesting to

        Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)
               The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
               Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

        C.D. Tavares (born 1973)
               Since when is "public safety" the root password to the Constitution?

        Bert Taylor [Bert Leston Taylor](1866-1921)
               A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, will tell you.

        G. Rattray Taylor (1911-1981)
               The stronger personalities defy the taboos;

        Bob Teague (born 1929)
               The net effect of these deceptions (Madison Avenue)

        Terence (IInd Century BCE)
               There's nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult

        Tertullian (c.160-c.225 CE)
               And do you not know that you are (each) an Eve? The sentence of God upon

        Margaret Thatcher [Margaret Hilda Roberts Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS](1925-2013)
               No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good

        Θεογνις [Theognis of Megara](544-480 BCE)
               Fools and children you are, mankind!

        Robert Thom (1929-1979)
               If no-one wants to be old anymore,

        William Isaac Thomas (1863-1947)
               It is not important whether or not the interpretation is correct --

        Hunter S. Thompson (1937-2005)
               How would Horatio Alger handle this situation?

        Ken Thompson [Kenneth Lane Thompson](born 1943)
               SCCS, the source motel! Programs check in and never check out!

        Henry David Thoreau [David Henry Thoreau](1817-1862)
               Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
               Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
               Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty.
               I think that we should be men first, and subjects afterward.
               If you see a man approach you with the obvious intent of doing you good,
               In accumulating property for ourselves or our posterity,
               The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with
               Men have become the tools of their tools.
               None is so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
               Rather than Love, than Money, than Faith, than Fame, than
               Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
               That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
               Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
               To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts,
               Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place
               Why should we be in such desperate haste

        Kelvin Throop [Kelvin R. Throop III]
               Beware the superficially profound.
               There is no such thing as a functional illiterate.

        Θουκυδιδης [Thucydides](c.460-c.395 BCE)
               The Nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its

        Johnny Thunders (1952-1991)
               You can't put your arms around a memory.

        James Thurber (1894-1961)
               He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
               I think that maybe if women and children
               Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear,
               Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion
               There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
               You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

        Tibetan Proverb
               If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it.

        William Tiller (born mid-XXth century)
               One may be able to quibble about the quality of a single experiment, or

        Paul Tillich [Paul Johannes Tillich](1886-1965)
               If doubt appears, it should not be considered as the negation of faith,

        James Tiptree Jr [Alice Bradley Sheldon](1915-1987)
               People say, 'Be realistic.' As though reality needs encouragement.

        Mark Toby (1913-1972)
               Eddie's Father: You know, you don't have to be famous

        Alvin Toffler (born 1928)
               The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and

        Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
               Art is not a handicraft, it is the transmission of feeling the artist
               Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its
               Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal.
               The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs.

        Lily Tomlin [Mary Jean Tomlin](born 1939)
               98% of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest
               If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
               If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you
               Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
               No matter how cynical I get, it's just never enough to keep up.

        Joseph A. Torrey (born mid-XIXth century?)
               Through this toilsome world, Alas!

        Linus Torvalds [Linus Benedict Torvalds](born 1969)
               Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important

        Arnold J. Toynbee (1889-1975)
               Civilization is a movement and not a condition, a voyage and not a

        Jacob Trapp (1899-1992)
               To worship is to stand in awe under a heaven of stars,

        Calvin Trillin [Calvin 'Bud' Marshall Trillin](born 1935)
               Health food makes me sick.

        Marthe Troly-Curtin
               The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

        Guy W. Trosper (1911-1963)
               A man ain't whipped until he quits, and I'll never give you that pleasure.

        François Truffaut (1932-1984)
               I've always had the impression that real militants are like cleaning women,

        Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
               He'll sit here and he'll say, "Do this! Do that!"
               I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find
               I never would have agreed to the formulation of the Central Intelligence
               A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party
               Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
               Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.

        Donald Trump (born 1946)
               As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big.

        Konstantin Tsiolkovsky [Konstantin Eduardovich Tsiolkovsky](1857-1935)
               The Earth is the cradle of Mankind, but one cannot remain in the cradle forever.

        Edward Tufte [Edward Rolf Tufte](born 1942)
               There are only two industries that refer to their customers as 'users'.

        Martin Farquhar Tupper (1810-1889)
               Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

        Alan Turing [Alan Mathison Turing, OBE, FRS](1912-1954)
               Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.

        Turkish proverb
               When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is

        Bonnie Turner (born mid-XXth century)
               I find some are born great, some achieve greatness, and

        Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens](1835-1910)
               Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
               A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
               Christians are all insane.
               Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
               A classic is something that everybody wants to have read
               A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
               Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
               Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
               Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane
               The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly
               Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
               Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
               God made the idiot for practice, and then he made the School Board.
               Happiness ain't a thing in itself -- it's only a contrast with something
               I . . . never could make a good impromptu speech without several
               I am pushing 60. That is enough exercise for me.
               I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington.
               I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
               I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
               I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week
               I thoroughly disapprove of duels.
               I've been a writer for 20 years and an ass for 55.
               If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn
               It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight
               Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
               Like most people, I feel mean and act accordingly.
               The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the
               Most people are bothered by those passages in scriptures which they cannot
               Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture
               One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes,
               One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
               Religion was born when the first con man met the first fool.
               Sanity and Happiness are an impossible combination.
               Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
               A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was
               There are many humorous things in the world, among
               There are things a person can learn,
               There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.
               Three orders of men, by right, speak of themselves as "we".
               To be good is noble, but to show others
               Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
               We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom
               When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his
               Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction?
               The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

        Robin Tyler (born 1942)
               If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:

        David Tynan (born mid-XXth century)
               Afterwards, the only ones looking happy were the lions.

        Kenneth Tynan (1927-1980)
               A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.

        Morris Udall [Morris King 'Mo' Udall](1922-1998)
               Lord, give us the wisdom to utter words that are gentle and tender,

        Ukranian proverb
               The church is near, but the way is icy,

        Samuel Ullman (1840-1924)
               Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind. . . .

        United States Air Force
               As a result of . . . investigating UFO reports since 1948,

        unknown
               ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΑΥΤΩΝ
               μηδεν αγαν
               640K [of personal computer memory] ought to be enough for anybody.
               Accuracy (n.): The vice of being right.
               Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.
               An adult is a dead child.
               An after-dinner speech should be like a lady's dress -- long enough to
               All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
               ALL THE PAST IS PROLOGUE
               Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
               Any given program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
               As things are, most Usenet postings are of no interest to socially
               As Zeus said to Narcissus, 'Watch yourself.'
               Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
               Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to
               Bradley's Bromide:
               Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
               Broke
               Cancel my subscription; I'm over your issues!
               Children should be obscene and not heard.
               The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
               Diplomacy: lying in state.
               Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
               Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
               Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow.
               During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
               Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into
               Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day,
               The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective
               Faint heart never won fair lady.
               Faire de la bonne cuisine demande un certain temps. Si on vous fait
               A fanatic is a person who can't change his mind and won't change the
               A fight does not need a winner. A fight needs a solution.
               GAUDEAMUS IGITUR IUVENES DUM SUMUS
               Go not unto Usenet for advice, for the denizens will say both yes, and no,
               God is seated in the hearts of all.
               God runs electromagnetics on Monday, Wednesday and Friday by the wave
               A great many laws in a country, like many physicians, is a sign of malady.
               happiness: Highly coveted but elusive state that resists precise
               Harrison's Postulate:
               Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody [sic]
               Honi soit qui mal y pense [Evil be to him who thinks evil]
               How do I know when somebody is real and not
               How do you make a small fortune in Texas oil?
               The human heart sees things the eyes cannot,
               Humanity isn't a civilization; it's an infestation.
               I am not bound to win,
               I beg to inform you
               I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to
               I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
               I know you believe you understand
               I prefer to think of it as the Prime Suggestion.
               I really hate this damn machine,
               I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
               If evil is spoken of you let your life refute the falsehood.
               If we'd been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we
               If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
               If you want to eat hippopotamus, you've got to pay the freight.
               IGNORANTIA NIHIL EXCUSAT [Ignorance excuses nothing]
               It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most
               It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
               It's easy to live until you find out that
               It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
               It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is.
               Jesus died to save us from our sins.
               Jesus said, "Why do you not judge for yourselves what is right?"
               Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
               Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences:
               Laws of Computer Programming
               Let
               Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
               Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.
               Listen to the voice of God!
               Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.
               A man is what he thinks about all day long.
               Many are called, few are chosen. Fewer still get to do the choosing.
               Market failure, n. The inability of the market to recover from a blow by
               Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
               A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted.
               Men fight for freedom; then they begin to accumulate laws to take it
               Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
               Mind you, not as bad as the night Archie Pettigrew ate some
               Money talks, but all it says is goodbye.
               The more virtuous a man is, the more virtue
               Morrie: You know, Jim, I think our country's really in trouble.
               Most non-Catholics know that the Catholic schools are rendering a greater
               Mr Cole's Axiom:
               The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
               Never eat more than you can lift.
               Never resist temptation. Try everything once.
               Never try to tear down someone's feeling of importance -- even in
               News Item: Two Berkeley, California, psychotherapists sued the local
               Nothing is any good if other people like it.
               Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
               One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman
               The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years
               The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for
               The orthodox exist in order that the Saint may have his heart's desire.
               Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
               Parkinson's Law: Work expands to fill the time alloted it.
               People should only make art that makes other people
               Pray don't find fault with the man who limps
               A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
               Repel them. Repel them. Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.
               Sex is like snow . . . You never know how many inches you're going to get
               Some people have all the luck:
               Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll
               That does not compute.
               THE END OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN CALLED OFF, DUE TO THE
               THE MEEK DON'T WANT IT!
               There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand
               There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
               There is no statute of limitations on stupidity.
               There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility
               There's a fine line between foolishness and bravery. Too bad it isn't a
               Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
               Things don't happen the way they used to --
               Things you resist tend to persist.
               Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.
               This book fills a much-needed gap.
               This hat's not big enough for both of us.
               This, man was born to do
               Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
               Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
               To love one's country, it is not necessary to hate others.
               To steal from one person is plagiarism, from many is research.
               Transform your inhibitions into exhibitions.
               Truth decays into beauty, while beauty soon becomes merely charm.
               Vote early and vote often.
               We have watched what they will do to the Bible, which they allege to hold
               We're here to give you a computer, not a religion.
               Well, you presumably believe that the best solution that this omnipotent
               What can a pigeon do that a West Texas oil man can't do anymore?
               What is it about Lwaxana Troi that makes me melt?
               What is truth? What is beauty?
               What is youth?
               What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
               When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
               When two people agree on everything,
               When two people love,
               When you philosophically oppose an entire power elite, you cannot help but
               When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you've got plenty to watch.
               The word Hatred must be cancelled by the word Love,
               Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd (The Truth against the World)
               You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word.
               You can log off anytime you like . . . but you can never leave . . .
               You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.
               You don't have to explain something you never said.
               You have two ends in life: one for sitting and one for thinking.
               You're what!?!" is the most common form of marriage proposal.
               Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime [sin] to waste it

        John Updike (1932-2009)
               Hoping to fashion a mirror, the lover doth polish the
               Life is like an overlong drama through which we sit being nagged by the

        Harold Urey [Dr Harold Clayton Urey](1893-1981)
               Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
               There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to

        James Ussher [James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh, Church of Ireland](1581-1656)
               In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth . . . which beginning of time

        Peter Ustinov [Sir Peter Alexander Ustinov, CBE](1921-2004)
               It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.

        Paul Valéry (1871-1945)
               Love is being stupid together.
               Nowadays the future isn't what it used to be.
               A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
               Serious people have few ideas. People with ideas are never serious.

        Abigail Van Buren [Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips/Dear Abby](born 1918)
               If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be

        Peter Van Der Linden (born mid-XXth century)
               The difference between theory and practice is a lot bigger in practice than

        Frank Vanderlip (1864-1937)
               A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done

        Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)
               Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
               Four things a man must learn to do
               I sing the praise of the Unknown Teacher . . . who delivers and guides
               Individuality is the salt of common life. You may have to live
               Self is the only prison that can ever bind the soul.
               Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds

        Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)
               Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the

        Ann Van Tassells
               Children are like sponges; they absorb all your strength and leave you

        Matthew VI:34 (KJV)
               Take therefore no thought for the morrow;

        Gore Vidal [Eugene Luther Gore Vidal](1925-2012)
               For certain people after 50, litigation lakes the place of sex.
               I don't like the size of them; the scale is all wrong. The heads tend
               I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
               A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
               Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

        Ecclesiastes VII:16
               Be not righteous overmuch.

        Pancho Villa (1877-1923)
               Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

        Joan D. Vinge (born 1948)
               I pulled her into my arms, finally understanding that all the while I'd
               The last square peg of compromise had been driven into a round hole of
               Rosenblum: What are you doing here?

        Vernor Vinge [Vernor Steffen Vinge](born 1944)
               It was not called the Net of a Million Lies for nothing.

        Virgil [Publius Vergilius Maro](70-19 BCE)
               NUNC SCIO QUID SIT AMOR
               TU NE CEDE MALIS SED CONTRA AUDIENTIOR ITO

        A.A. Vlasov [Anatoly Alexandrovich Vlasov](1908-1975)
               The purpose of the present course is the deepening and development of

        François Marie Arouet Voltaire (1694-1778)
               Animals have a great advantage over human beings: they never hear the
               C'est une des superstitions de l'esprit humain d'avoir imaginé que
               Certainement qui est en droit de vous rendre absurde est en droit de
               Il est bien malaisé . . . dôter à des insensés des
               Il est défendu de tuer; tout meurtrier est puni, à moins qu'il n'ait
               Il est dangereux d'avoir raison dans des choses où des hommes
               J'ai toujours fait une prière à Dieu, qui est fort courte.
               Le doute n'est pas un état bien agréable, mais l'assurance est
               Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien. [The best is the enemy of the good.]
               Le superflu, chose trés nécessaire.
               Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
               On dit quelquefois: 'Le sens commun est fort rare.'
               Once a philosopher, twice a pervert.
               Qu'est-ce que la tolérance? C'est l'apanage de l'humanité.
               Qui sert bien son pays n'a pas besoin d'aeux.
               Quoi que vous fassiez, écrasez l'infâme, et aimez qui vous aime.
               Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer.
               Si Dieu nous a faits à son image, nous le lui avons bien rendu.
               Un bon mot ne prouve rien. [A witty saying proves nothing.]
               Un ministre est excusable du mal qu'il fait, lorsque le gouvernail de
               Y a-t-il rien de plus respectable qu'un ancien abus?
               [La bibliothèque] est une des plus nobles institutions. Il n'y a

        Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)
               Crash programs fail because they are based on theory that, with
               Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

        Kurt Vonnegut Jr (1922-2007)
               1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent
               All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
               Artists use frauds to make human beings seem more wonderful than they
               The arts put man of the center of the universe, whether he belongs there
               Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
               Bergeron's epitaph for the planet [Earth] . . .:
               Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it,
               Doesn't anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public
               For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention
               Freud said he didn't know what women wanted. I know what women want.
               Hello, farewell.
               I have become an enthusiast for the printed word again. I have to be
               I sometimes wondered what the use of any of the arts was. The best
               I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over.
               I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
               If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
               If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.
               If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a
               If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have nerve enough
               Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion.
               Let us devote to unselfishness the frenzy we once gave gold and underpants.
               Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just
               Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
               Maybe God has let everybody who ever lived be reborn -- so he or she
               The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when
               No wonder kids grow up crazy. A cat's cradle is nothing but a bunch
               On telling his wife he's going out to buy an envelope:] Oh, she says well,
               ON WRITING;
               One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on
               Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and
               There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, but no good reason ever to
               Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
               Tiger got to hunt, Bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder why,
               True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school
               The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.
               We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful
               We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.
               We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings
               What is the purpose of life? . . . To be the eyes, and ears, and
               When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in
               When the truth of your life is too terrible,
               The world is just a collection of moments, all strung together in
               You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.

        Mark Vonnegut (born 1947)
               We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.

        John von Neumann [János Neumann](1903-1957)
               Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits

        Lois W. [Lois Wilson](1891-1988)
               Love does not need proving among sane and independent people.

        Charles Wadsworth (1814-1882)
               By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually

        George Raymond Wagner [Gorgeous George](1915-1963)
               Win if you can, lose if you must,

        Jane Wagner (born 1935)
               All my life I said I wanted to be someone . . . I can see now that
               I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times
               Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

        Tom Waits [Thomas Alan Waits](born 1949)
               I have never been a fan of personality-conflict burgers and identity-crisis

        George Wald (1906-1997)
               A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

        Andrew Kevin Walker (born 1964)
               Let he who is without sin, try to survive.

        Doug Walker
               (Limerick in mathematical code)

        Dr Peter Walker [Peter Wykoff Walker II](born mid-XXth century)
               I refuse to be labeled immoral merely because I am godless.

        Larry Wall (born 1954)
               We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when

        George Wallace [George Corley Wallace Jr](1919-1998)
               I've seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but I've

        Eli Wallach (born 1915)
               Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say

        Karl Wallenda (1905-1978)
               Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

        W. Allen Wallis (1912-1998)
               In a study of schoolboys, an educator discovered a correlation between

        Horace Walpole [Horatio Walpole, 4th Earl of Orford](1717-1797)
               This world is a comedy to those that think,

        Howard A. Walter [Howard Arnold Walter](1883-1918)
               I Would Be True

        William H. Walton
               To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.

        Andy Warhol (1928-1987)
               Bad taste makes the day go by faster.
               I am a deeply superficial person.
               Two people kissing look like fish.

        H.M. Warner (1881-1958)
               Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?

        Jack Warner (1892-1978)
               Don't pay attention to bad reviews. Today's newspaper is tomorrow's

        Adam Warren (born 1967)
               Some people think of their body as a temple.

        Edith Warton [Edith Newbold Jones Wharton](1862-1937)
               Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of

        Lemuel K. Washburn [Lemuel Kelley Washburn](1846-c.1926)
               The cross everywhere is a dagger in the heart of liberty.
               Most men would kill the truth if truth would kill their religion.
               The original sin was not in eating of the forbidden fruit, but in
               Priests will pardon thieves but not philosophers.

        Booker T. Washington (1856-1915)
               I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.

        George Washington (1732-1799)
               Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force!
               The government of the United States is in no sense

        Nixon Waterman (1859-1944)
               Making a Man

        John Waters [John Samuel Waters Jr](born 1946)
               Family" this and "family" that. If I had a family

        Roger Waters [George Roger Waters](born 1943)
               Cause there's no wind left in my soul and I've grown old.
               You better stay home

        Thomas Watson (1874-1956)
               I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

        Bill Watterson (born 1958)
               Another casualty of applied metaphysics.
               As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
               Aww Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungie cord.
               Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being
               Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
               Do you think God lets you plea bargain?
               Hey Dad, remember our car?
               I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
               If you hadn't screwed up my past, your future wouldn't be like this.
               It's not denial. I'm just very selective of the reality I accept.
               Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists
               Verbing weirds language.

        Faye Wattleton (born 1943)
               Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures

        Alan Watts [Alan Wilson Watts](1915-1973)
               I have realised that the past and future are real illusions, that
               I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they

        Ken Weaver (born 1956)
               Burnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

        Daniel Webster (1782-1852)
               Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
               If we work upon marble it will perish.
               Keep cool. Anger is not an argument.

        Paul Francis Webster (1907-1984)
               Once I had a secret love

        William H. Webster [William Hedgcock Webster](born 1924)
               Behind all the political rhetoric being hurled at us from abroad, we are

        Cynthia Weil (born 1940)
               . . . She looked at me and the emptiness in her eyes was cruel to see.

        George M. Weilacher (fl. XXth century)
               Arguing with a person's faith is like chasing them around a parking lot.

        Gerald M. Weinberg (born 1933)
               If carpenters built houses the way programmers build programs,
               The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.

        Anthony D. Weiner (born 1964)
               It has seeped into our consciousness that complaining about life's

        Jack Welch [John Francis Welch Jr](born 1935)
               If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete.

        Les Welch
               If you worry about your customers you won't have to worry about money.

        Orson Welles (1915-1985)
               My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.

        H.G. Wells [Herbert George Wells](1866-1946)
               The forceps of our minds are clumsy things and crush the truth a
               Go away. I'm alright.
               The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men
               Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
               A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted

        John Wells (1936-1998)
               He's about as much use as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking party.

        T. John Wendel (born 1954)
               Bug? That's not a bug, that's a feature.

        Mae West [Mary Jane West](1893-1980)
               He who hesitates is a damned fool.
               I believe in censorship. After all, I made a fortune out of it.
               I see myself as a classic. I never loved another person the way I loved
               I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
               Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
               To err is human, but it feels divine.
               Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
               When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never
               When women go wrong, men go right after them.
               You're never too old to become younger.

        Benjamin Whichcote (1609-1683)
               Only madmen and fools are pleased with themselves;

        Andrew D. White [Andrew Dickson White](1832-1918)
               I simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that

        Bryan White (born 1974)
               We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

        E.B. White [Elwyn Brooks White](1899-1985)
               Do not try to save the world by loving thy neighbor; it will only make him
               If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely

        Phil White
               It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

        T.H. White [Terence Hanbury White](1906-1964)
               It has been my hideous fate to be born with an infinite capacity for love

        William Allen White (1868-1944)
               I do not fear tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday, and I love today.

        Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947)
               Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations
               Ideas won't keep. Something must be done about them.
               It is the business of the future to be dangerous; and it is among the
               There is now no choice before us. Either we must succeed in providing
               The vigor of civilized societies is preserved by the widespread sense

        Matt Whiteley (born mid-XXth century)
               Here's to the crazy ones the misfits the rebels the troublemakers the

        Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
               Do I contradict myself?
               From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
               He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher.
               I swear nothing is good to me now that ignores individuals.
               In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined
               It is to the development, identification, and general prevalence
               The Greatest City

        Gregory Widen
               Did you ever notice how in the Bible . . .whenever God needed a

        Eli Wiesel (born 1928)
               Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence

        Paul Wilbert
               The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.

        Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919)
               To sin by silence, when we should protest, makes cowards of men.

        Oscar Wilde [Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde](1854-1900)
               The æsthetic value of Shakespeare's plays does not, in the slightest
               Ah! don't say that you agree with me. When people agree
               Ah, well, then I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means.
               The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature
               America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
               America is the noisiest country that ever existed. One is waked up
               And what is fashion? From the artistic point of view, it is usually
               Anything approaching to the free play of the mind is practically
               The art of life is the art of defiance. To defy -- that is what
               Bad art is a great deal worse than no art at all.
               Cecil Graham: What is a cynic?
               Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original
               Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from
               Experience is of no ethical value. It is simply the name men give
               Give children beauty, not the record of bloody slaughters and
               God filled thee with the perfect knowledge of Himself, and thou has given
               I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.
               I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances
               I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
               I never travel without my diary. One should always have something
               I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his
               I was a problem for which there was no solution.
               I would sooner have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue.
               If one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music
               If we are tempted to make war upon another nation, we shall remember that
               If you meet at dinner a man who has spent his life in educating
               In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.
               In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one
               Individualism does not come to man with any claims upon him at all.
               It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either
               It is sometimes said that the tragedy of an artist's life is that he
               Know thyself" was written over the portico of the antique
               Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship;
               Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life. . . . Literature always
               A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it
               A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
               Moderation is a fatal thing, Lady Hunstanton.
               Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and
               Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we
               Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's
               Mrs Chevely is one of those very modern women of our time who find a new
               None of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves.
               Nothing is more evident than that Nature Hates Mind. Thinking is the most
               One should always be a little improbable.
               One should never make one's debut with a scandal -- one should
               The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
               Ordinary cruelty is simply stupidity. It is the entire want of
               People who mean well always do badly. They are like the ladies who wear
               A poet can survive everything but a misprint.
               The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding.
               The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except
               Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
               Several plays have been written lately
               Society . . . has gone to the dogs; a lot of damned nobodies talking
               Society produces rogues, and education makes one rogue cleverer
               Society, as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has
               Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
               There are only two ways of becoming civilized: one is by being
               There are two ways of disliking art, Ernest. One is to dislike it.
               There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book.
               Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without
               Though our modern Puritans cannot destroy a beautiful thing, yet,
               To have a capacity for a passion and not to realise it is to make
               To live is the rarest thing in the world.
               To lose one parent . . . may be regarded as a misfortune;
               To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders. . . . The true mystery of the
               Unless one is wealthy there is no use in being a charming fellow. . . .
               We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
               We, in our educational system, have burdened the memory with a load of
               What a fuss people make about fidelity! Why, even in love it is purely a
               What is truth? In matters of religion, it is simply the opinion
               Youth! There is nothing like it. It's absurd to talk of the ignorance of

        Robert Wilensky (born 1951)
               We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could

        George Will [George Frederick Will](born 1941)
               on conservatives]: They define themselves in terms of what they oppose.

        Robin Williams (born 1951)
               God gave you a penis and a brain, and only enough blood to run one
               In England if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you
               To be, or what?

        Roger Williams (1603-1684)
               God requireth not a uniformity of religion to be enacted and enforced in

        Tennessee Williams [Thomas Lanier Williams III](1911-1983)
               Life is all memory except for the one present moment that goes
               The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
               Snatching the eternal out of the desperately fleeting
               Time is the longest distance between two places.
               A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature

        Walter Jon Williams (born 1953)
               The deluded are always filled with absolutes.

        John Williamson (born 1937)
               Anyone can hate. it costs to love.

        Kevin Williamson (born 1965)
               Movies don't make psychopaths. Movies make psychopaths better.

        Marianne Williamson
               Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

        Meredith Willson (1902-1984)
               Keep piling up enough tomorrows and you'll find

        Mary Wilson [Gladys Mary Wilson, Baroness Wilson of Rievaulx](born 1916)
               United

        Tom Wilson [Thomas Albert Wilson](1931-2011)
               You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because

        Jon Winokur (born 1947)
               Political Correctness (n.): The apotheosis of mediocrity; the unholy
               Support groups have been criticized for promoting self-pity, and

        Lizz Winstead (born 1961)
               I think -- therefore I'm single.

        Shelley Winters (1920-2006)
               Where do you go to get anorexia?

        Jeanette Winterson (born 1959)
               It is right to question standards but wrong to assume there aren't any.

        Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)
               I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not
               The limits of my language are the limits of my mind.

        Richard A. Woehlke (born mid-XXth century)
               Nothing is done until nothing is done.

        Robert Hewitt Wolfe (born 1964)
               You hit me! Picard never hit me.

        Tom Wolfe [Thomas Kennerly Wolfe Jr](born 1931)
               Over the past ten years, for the first time, intelligence had

        John F. Woods (born mid-XXth century)
               Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a

        Virgina Woolf (1882-1941)
               I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes well out of it.
               Never have I read such tosh.

        Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)
               What could be more charming than a boy before he has begun to

        Alexander Woollcott [Alexander Humphreys Woollcott](1887-1943)
               Nothing risque, nothing gained.
               Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.

        William Wordsworth (1770-1850)
               My heart leaps up when I behold
               A reasoning, self-sufficing thing, An intellectual all-in-all!
               Shades of the prison-house begin to close

        Steve Wozniak (born 1950)
               Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.

        Frank Lloyd Wright (1867-1959)
               A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his
               If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
               The truth is more important than the facts.

        Steven Wright [Steven Alexander Wright](born 1955)
               Black holes are where God divided by zero.
               Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
               I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car
               I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it.
               I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.
               I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house
               Some people think George is weird because he has sideburns behind his
               Someone sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo of
               You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
               You know that feeling when you're leaning back on a stool and it starts to

        Bill Wulf [William Allan Wulf](born 1939)
               There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering

        John Wyndham [John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Beynon Harris](1903-1969)
               In loyalty to their kind

        Malcolm X [Malcolm Little/El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz](1925-1965)
               I've had enough of someone else's propaganda. I'm for truth, no matter who
               Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over

        Xenocrates
               I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

        Peter Yarrow (born 1938)
               Day is Done

        William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)
               Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
               Come away, O human child!
               I whispered, 'I am too young',
               Some people say there is a God; others say there is no God.
               Too long a sacrifice

        Yiddish proverb
               If triangles had a God, He'd have three sides.

        Jane Yolen [Jane Hyatt Yolen](born 1939)
               And for adults, the world of fantasy books returns to us the great
               Fairy tales always have a happy ending."

        Yoruba (Africa) proverb
               He who shits on the road must expect to meet flies on his return.

        Henny Youngman [Henry Youngman](1906-1998)
               My father was the town drunk. Usually that's not so bad,

        Israel Zangwill (1864-1926)
               The Jews are a frightened people. Nineteen centuries of Christian love have

        Emiliano Zapata [Emiliano Zapata Salazar](1879-1919)
               It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!

        Frank Zappa [Frank Vincent Zappa](1940-1993)
               Don't eat the yellow snow.
               Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of
               I think love lyrics [in pop romantic songs. ballads] have contributed
               Kill Ugly Radio
               The meek shall inherit nothing.
               There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

        Roger Zelazny [Roger Joseph Zelazny](1937-1995)
               I trusted him like a brother. That is to say, not at all.

        Robert Zemeckis [Robert Lee Zemeckis](born 1951)
               I'm gonna cut you a break today. So why don't you make like a tree,

        Mai Zetterling (1925-1994)
               Truth is the only thing to strive for. Only when this is

        Warren Zevon [Warren William Zevon](1947-2003)
               I'll sleep when I'm dead.

        M. Zimmerman
               Zimmerman's Law of Complaints:

        Howard Zinn (1922-2010)
               Civil disobedience, that's not our problem. Our problem is that people are
               There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing

        Lou Zocchi (born c.1940)
               Fresh oats cost more than used oats,

        Émile Zola (1840-1902)
               The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing
               La vérité est en marche et rien ne l'arrétera.

        Shimon ben Zoma (IInd century CE)
               Who is wise?