The Murphy Mole

After 16 Years, Murphys Dream of GREEN Christmas

What a year a difference makes! After spending a year on leave from Harvard Business School as an executive pay consultant at Towers Perrin, Kevin accepted a professorship at USC, and the family has moved west.

Needless to say, the relocation (along with packing and unpacking, house-hunting, and driving cross-country) consumed most of the year, although the family did find time for a Caribbean cruise in February and a house-boating adventure in July.

The Murphys initially moved in with Kevin's dad, Bob, sparking the predictable jokes at JoAnn and Kevin's respective 20-year high school class reunions. But, in late August they moved into their new home in La Cañada, a quiet suburb about 15 miles north of USC nestled in the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains. Having settled in, they're always ready for visitors from friends and family across the country.

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Trouble Bruin

by Kevin

When JoAnn agreed to marry me, her fellow Bruin grad,
She pledged to stick beside me both in good times and in bad.
She stuck by in Chicago through the bitter winter cold.
She stuck by me in Roch'ster where the first July, it snowed.
She stuck by, too, in Boston, but just when she'd settled in
I had the nerve to tell her it was time to move again.

The thought of leaving Concord made her want to scream and kick.
But the part of my announcement that had really made her sick
Was discovering that USC would be my new employer.
Twas then that she advised me, “Get a good divorce lawyer.”

My UCLA instincts said I'd taken quite a chance
When signing as a USC Professor of Finance.
The thought of snowless winters hardly helped to make amends,
Nor did the thought of moving close to relatives and friends.
Imagine how the Patriots felt when Arnold turned a Tory,
Or how the nation felt when Aldrich Ames revealed his story.
Imagine how poor Newt will feel at Clinton's re-election,
JoAnn felt even worse about my traitorous defection.

I knew, in mid-November, when departing for “the game”
That our marriage, if the Bruins lost, would never be the same.
I held my breath at kickoff while preparing for the worst . . .
It probably saved our marriage when the favored Trojans burst.

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Westward Ho, Ho, Ho?

by Eric

I can still remember when we started the trip from Boston to Los Angeles. I loved the way my dad set up the car. Near each seat were headphones that were connected to the TV and the radio. My dad taped 25 movies. If we wanted to see them all we would have to watch more than two movies a day.

From Boston we went to Rochester where we stayed with some old friends. Then we went to Canada and stayed by Niagara Falls. We got to go close to the falls on a boat called Maiden of the Mist. After Niagara Falls we drove though Canada, Michigan, Indiana and finally to Chicago, which was one of my favorite stops because we got to stay in a hotel with a TV, radio and a hairdryer in the bathroom.

After Chicago we went to Sumner, Iowa where we stayed with my dad's Uncle Dick and Aunt Ruth. We caught fire flies and saw my dad's first home. Next, we drove through South Dakota and saw the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore and Jewel Cave, then to Wyoming and Yellowstone! Yellowstone was my favorite place on the trip. I loved the geysers like old Faithful (were shooting up 75 feet), and also loved when our car was surrounded by hundreds of buffalo. After Yellowstone we went through Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and finally arrived in California on the 4th of July.

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Houseboating on Lake Powell

by Kara

This summer the Murphys, the Duntons (Mardis, Cap, Casey and Brandon), Grandpa (Bob), and his good friend Mardy (who's real name is also Mardis!) all went houseboating. Our houseboat was really neat: it had a slide going off the top deck with a four foot drop! The first night Brandon and Eric slept outside in a tent but got scared and started sleeping inside. Each morning everyone (but Kara, who always slept in) was up early for a wonderful breakfast. Everyday the kids went exploring; one day Brandon, Eric and Kara found the skull of a fish and twenty feet away they found the tail, and ten feet away they found the rest of it. We also went fishing: Eric caught four fish, Brandon two, and Casey three. Our week-long trip ended July 25. We were all sad when it was over but, after all, there's always next year!

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Goofy La Cañada School Days

by Kristen

Adjusting to California is not easy. You wear shorts to school until Christmas. There's no gym for PE because you play outside. And, what the heck is an earthquake drill?

Kristen's in grade 7 at La Cañada High School, learning about Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, and other turtles, world history (from BC 3000 to AD 1789), and geometry. Most of her time is spent doing homework. Eric is in 5th grade at La Cañada Elementary (LCE). Eric enjoys dissecting squids in science and has taken a liking to the class rabbit, rat, and snakes. A book report every three weeks keeps his English class in shape. In February the whole 5th grade class will take a field trip to Valley Forge in Pennsylvania. Eric can't wait!

After several attempts, Kara's finally hit third grade: the year the homework starts! Kara doesn't mind this homework thing as long as it doesn't interfere with TV. Her teacher sends kids home with either pumpkins or snakes to tell about their behavior (snakes being bad, pumpkins good). I didn't count but I believe that Kara (being the animal-lover that she is) got more snakes than pumpkins.

The La Cañada school system is great. The teachers are nice, and if there was one thing to change it would be to get busses (so mom wouldn't have to get up a 6:30 am to drive everyone to school).

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Happy Holidays!

by Eric

When we moved we had our doubts about California. We thought that it would be weird to have to visit snow (a 15-minute drive: see the photo on the back page!) instead of hav-ing it come to us. But, we're getting used to wearing shorts all year, and have enjoyed our new schools. The field trips have been cool (my class spent a week at Valley Forge, Kara's stayed overnight at a camp, and my class is going on a five-day camping trip). I was elected treasurer and in that capacity help run the student store (including picking all the supplies and prices). Kara is in student council and in the GATE program. Kristen and I are in different schools, but are both in chorus and in top math classes.

California has been a little disappointing. We haven't had a decent earthquake yet (good thing: Mom and Dad didn't buy quake insurance!) and none of my friends go surfing ('cept on the web: we live closer to the mountains than the ocean.) Our house hasn't slid in mudslides and we've only had one fire near us (the day we moved in!).Still, we're always ready for visits from friends across the country!

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Giving Thanks

by Kevin

Now I'm not blaming Jesus, but I think it's rather queer
That they scheduled Christmas during such a busy time of year
With the shopping and the wrapping and the spending by the bank-full
There's little time to focus on the things for which I'm thankful

I'm thankful that we made the move and settled in the West
And hopeful that JoAnn agrees "near relatives" is best
I'm thankful that our children are all doing well in school
And thankful that our winter days are now spent in the pool

I'm glad that Kristen plays guitar and Kara plays the flute
And glad that Eric's quest for drums (to date at least) is moot
I'm glad the kids have had the chance to live in different places
And glad that Kristen starts next year without a hint of braces

I'm grateful that no earthquake's left our property in ruins
Don't tell my dean: I'm grateful that the Trojans lost to Bruins
And though I'm sad that Amby's gone, and never will forget her
I do give thanks that from now on our carpets will smell better

But most of all I'm thankful for my children and my wife
Who love me and support me and give meaning to my life
And I'm thankful for my relatives and friends who bring me cheer
And I wish them Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year

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Ho, Ho, Hum: Another Boring Stay-at-Home Year

by Kristen

Although busy with work and school, we managed to get out of the house once or twice. In February we spent a weekend in San Diego and Mexico when my friend, Rebecca, visited from Con-cord. In June we picked up Arlene and Ian in Chico on our way to a resort in Sunriver, Oregon, where Dad attended a conference while we white-water rafted and visited with friends.

Over the 4th of July we went on a week-long cruise to Mexico with Grandma and Grandpa Villa, Grandpa Murphy, and Grandpa's friend Mardy. Then, in August we went camping in Sequoia National Park with Uncle Tim, Aunt Rose, cousin Meghan and Grandpa Murphy and Mardy. I would have preferred hot showers, clean bathrooms, and fewer bears and snakes, but it was a lot of fun and the food was great!

Later in August, Kristen, Eric, and Kara flew (alone!) to the east coast to spend a week at Camp-of-the-Woods with Uncle Mike, Aunt Marianne, and cousins Valerie, Matthew, Casey and Brandon. At week's end, Uncle Cap and Aunt Mardis picked us up and drove us to our old hometown of Concord. Mom joined us, and we spent a week visiting old friends and re-visiting the sights. We even got to "tour" our old house on Mattison Drive! Then, back home for school!

Grandma and Grandpa Villa-celebrating their 40th anniversary during Thanksgiving weekend-had never been to San Francisco.So, we all crowded into our minivan and headed north for a weekend of sightseeing and fun.

Other then that, we have stayed close to home. We've had several parties, including a great one with Mom and Dad's UCLA friends. We have no idea where we plan to travel next. We have been all over the United States in the last few years, and right now we are taking a break and "exploring our own backyard."

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In Loving Memory:
Amby Villa Murphy 1979-1996

by Kara

I am sad to report that Amby Villa Murphy, age 17, passed away on Memorial Day, 1996. Amby led a long, happy life. She was suffering from liver failure and was in a coma near death when she was put to sleep. It was sad to tell the veterinarian (the father of Eric's good friend) to put her to sleep, but it was the best thing we could do for her.

Amby joined our family as a newborn kitty in 1979 when Mom and Dad first moved to Chicago. She was a worldly kitty, living in Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Mass., and California. She loved everybody except for Uncle Cap.

Amby was a member of our family longer than any of us kids. We've known her since we were born. Her death made us very depressed. Even Eric (who is not brave enough to cry) was sad and it showed.

She was the best kitty in the world, and we miss her very much.

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Happy New Year!

by Kristen

The Murphy's are finally settled into west coast life. Kevin continues as a finance professor at USC, while JoAnn continues to root for UCLA while keeping busy in Juniors and working as a PTA vice-president and full-time chauffeur. We're still enjoying the weather, although it is easy to miss snow this time of year.

This year Kristen and Eric are both attending the high school (in grades 9 and 7.) They have left Kara in the 5th grade at La Cañada Elementary school. Kara looks forward to her class trip to Philadelphia in February.

Kristen is busy performing in chorus and color guard, and will be making a trip to England over spring break with the band and guard. Overall, school is great except for the homework, tests, and classes.

Toby goes to school

Not to be outdone by the other Murphy students, Toby attended "doggie school" for a couple of weeks, learning how to sit, stay, and come when it pleases him. Unfortunately Toby had to drop out of school when his mom and Kara got too lazy to take him every Saturday morning.

La Cañada is fun and the whole family has been kept busy, but not too busy to host guests. We always look forward to company and hope that everyone will feel free to visit us!

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Mardy

by Kevin

When my mother was a little girl who lived in the midwest
She had a friend named Mardis, indisputably her best
Inseparable as children, and through college-roommate days
But when they both got married, they pursued their separate ways
In the fifty years that followed, they just barely kept in touch
(But Mom named my sister Mardis,
'cause their friendship meant so much.)

When my mom contracted cancer, which eventually took her life
My father, Bob, faced life alone, without his friend and wife
While off in Arizona, in a tale of similar fate
It turns out that poor Mardis, too, had lost her life-long mate
Neither of them counted on a life spent all alone
And before too long they started spending hours on the phone
The phone calls turned to visits, and a friendship soon transpired
And Mardis moved to Southern Cal the day that she retired.

On a Thursday in October, Bob and "Mardy" snuck away
To get married in Las Vegas, telling family the next day
And now I have a step-mom, and my kids a step-grandmother
But even more important, Bob and Mardy have each other.

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I Know What We Did Last Summer

by Eric

We would all like to say that we went to some place like Hawaii or Europe as a vacation this year, but that was not the case because of summer school, my dad's job, and Kristen's band camp. Instead of taking a long trip, we took many short trips.

Our "summer" vacations started early with a four-day cruise to Mexico in April. We had a lot of fun, but would have had more if dad hadn't stayed home to teach. The day after we returned we drove to Bishop, CA, to pick up Toby, stopping by Death Valley on the way. In June, we attended cousin Valerie's wedding in New Jersey. Later that month, we spent three days in San Diego (while Dad attended a conference). The 4th of July found us in Chico, CA, visiting Aunt Arlene and cousin Ian. In addition to watching fire-works, we saw lions, tigers, and snakes, and went tubing down a river.

Later in July, Mom and Dad celebrated Dad's 40th birthday in Monterrey, Mexico, where Dad had business. The next weekend, the whole family went to Las Vegas, were my parents gambled while us kids hit most of the theme parks, attractions, and arcades. The day we returned from Vegas, Dad went to Boston (business, again), and the rest of us went to Newport Dunes where we set up a trailer and rented sail-boats, kayaks, wind-surfers, and paddle-boats.

The Duntons visited in mid-August, and we spent two nights at Big Bear, and made the usual visits to Disney-land and Universal Studios. Finally, over Labor Day, we spent three nights relaxing on Catalina island.

Mom, stop complain-ing that we never go anyplace!

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Meet Toby Murphy

by Kara
(proud owner of a spoiled-rotten dog)

There is a new member in the Murphy family. He was born on January 23, 1997. After the loss of the beloved kitty, Amby, Kara yearned for a dog. She wrote letters, poems, screen savers and songs to her parents. After nine months of Kara's unyielding pleading, her parents set off in search of a dog who was small and would not shed or smell. Kevin found a litter 10 hours away in Bishop, and there was one puppy who hadn't been adopted.

On April 3rd, Kara's birthday, the best presents (and the shock of Kara's life) were Toby's pedigree papers, a Bichon Frise handbook, and a doggie picture frame.

Toby is very playful. His favorite games are chase and his own game: he fetches, but doesn't understand the concept of giving the toy back. His favorite toys are his three (yes, THREE) Sammy the Seals, and his Santa Claus chew toy (all of which are torn apart). He is clever and has learned to open the door to Kevin and JoAnn's bedroom, and goes there to get away from it all. He's an obedience-school drop-out, but he's still the smartest puppy. He's 10 pounds and fully grown, and looks like a cotton ball. He's a loving, playful family pet. We love him.

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When we packed our things three years ago and moved across the nation, I figured that the Murphy clan had seen its last vacation. With Disneyland and Hollywood and winters filled with sun, we wouldn't have to travel to achieve our family fun.

But Kara and her fifth-grade class took off for Valley Forge. While Eric, in Yosemite, explored the famous gorge. Kristen toured England with her Color Guard and Band. JoAnn and I, in Florida, vacationed on the sand.

In June we left for England, and saw Germany and France and at least five other countries (we were there and had the chance). The trip, in all, was wonderful (except for lousy weather), But thirty days was awfully long for us to be together.

By autumn we were ready for some California living. But first we had to make a trip to Denver for Thanksgiving. And now we're spending Christmas in our old “hometown” of Boston, Does anybody care what all this traveling is costin'?

In ninety-nine I hope we'll find that staying home is best, allow-ing both my family and credit cards to rest. So if you come to visit us, just look in La Cañada. We should be there throughout the year, at least I think we oughta.

This summer the Murphy family went on an exciting 31-day tour of Europe. Our first stop (after a five-hour layover in St. Louis) was London. On our first night, we dined with Uncle Mike and Aunt Mari-anne, who just happened to be in London at the same time. We spent a week in London, doing the usual tourist things (double-decker busses, bridges, towers, etc.) and seeing a play. Then, we took the Eurostar through the Chunnel to Paris, where we spent a week almost within sight of the Eiffel Tower, and visited the Mona Lisa, Versailles, and Disney-land-Paris. Paris was fun, but crowded, because of the World Cup.

We rented a van and drove to Berlin, where Dad attended a conference. The rest of us had fun shopping and visiting museums (Checkpoint Charlie). After a week in Berlin, we spent 3 days in beautiful (but rainy) Prague. Next, we headed for Switzerland, through Germany, Austria, and Liechtenstein. On the border of Austria and Ger-many, we stopped at the fairy-tale castle that inspired Walt Disney. We then spent one night back in Paris, before taking the Chunnel back to England.

In England, we rented another car, and for the first time (at least on purpose), Mom and Dad had to drive on the left side of the road. We spent a week in a cottage near Warwick University (where Dad was visiting). We only had one accident: Mom cracked the mirror on the driver's side of the car, and Dad later managed to break the entire thing off. Finally, after an entire month of “family fun” we hopped on the airplane and headed home. We were anxious to see Toby, and to get away from each other.

Given that the Murphy children are no longer babies, they did their own travels this year. In February, Kara (age 11) went with her fifth-grade class to Philadelphia. There, she saw reenactments of Washington, Franklin, and Revolutionary War soldiers. At home, Kara stays busy with flute lessons, Girl Scouts, and drama class.

Eric (13) went on a trip to Yosemite where he saw breathtaking views and had a close-encounter with some friendly raccoons. At home, Eric enjoys loud music and the trumpet, and has joined the Water Polo team.

Kristen (15) had the most interesting school trip. Kristen went to England in April with the LCHS Band and Color Guard. She saw Big Ben, the Tower of London, Shakespeare's house, and much more. The band goes on trips every two years, so Kara and Eric will each take band trips twice and Kristen gets to go on one more. Whew! Even the kids are frequent fliers!

Not yet a world traveler, Toby drove the kids to school every morning, and spent most of the day sleeping until they returned. When the rest of the clan went to Europe, Toby stayed home and divided his time among both sets of Grandparents and his Uncle Ron. He can't wait until his first plane trip to Boston to visit his cousin, Riff.

'Twas the night before Christmas just one year ago
Our tree was all trimmed and the house was aglow
The evening was planned to the detail with care
But what happened next, we just couldn't prepare

Our houseguests and we were returning from Mass
When we noted the stench of intestinal gas
Our septic pumps broke and the tanks overflew
And our driveway was covered with foul-smelling goo

We tried to get help but it was Christmas Eve,
And no one could care that our lawn was a sieve
(When we contacted someone to give us a hand,
it was several days later, and cost us five grand!)

So we all held our noses, ignoring the mush
And instructed our guests not to shower or flush
We made sure the windows were closed and shut tight
And then settled down for a short winter's night

The sewage sludge pushed from the tanks through the loam
Forcing millions of ants from the lawn to our home.
We set up our banquet first thing Christmas Day
But the ants found it first, and decided to stay.

If a visit to see us now sounds less inviting
Remember we always plan something exciting
Though somewhat unpleasant, you have to admit
It's nice spending Christmas all covered with snow!

Our everyday lives are very busy. We are constantly on the move going to some compe-tition or a practice. All of us participate in many activities inside and outside of school. I’m in 9th grade, and involved in band, water polo, wrestling, and swimming. My sister, Kara, is in 7th grade and just as busy, playing the flute in both the school band and in a youth orchestra, taking drama classes, participating in girl scouts, and doing volunteer work at a local pet clinic.

My older sister is a high school junior, and works hard as the Color Guard Assistant Captain, participated in a leadership camp, and is studying for both her SATs and driver’s license, all while leading a very active social life.

It is often hard to find the time for all of these things. Every school day I have at least three hours of athletics. Even when our marching band competitions ended, new obligations quickly filled up the space. My parents complain that we don’t have time to do our chores around the house, and they never seem to get a break from driving us back and forth. Soon Kristen will have her license and can take over part of the job of driving everyone around.

Even though we all do many things we still find time to keep up our grades. I’m sure our busy schedules will make 2000 go by as quickly as did 1999.

When Mom and Dad went off to Europe last summer, both sets of grandparents “volunteered” to watch us kids for week-an-a-half stints each. I mean, how hard could it be? It’s not like we need constant entertainment or attention, just a lift now and then . . .

Friday, July 16th
6:30am Take Eric to waterpolo unless he gets a ride
7:00am Pick up Eric, take him to the Orthodontist, then back to waterpolo
7:30am Take Kara to waterpolo practice
8:30am House-cleaners arrive
10:00am Pick up Kara; drop off Kristen at school
12:45am Pick up Eric; take Kristen to guard practice
1:30pm Take Kara to drama practice
3:30pm Pick up Kara from drama
4:00pm Take Kara and Eric to waterpolo practice
5:00pm Pick up Kara and Kristen from LCHS
6:30pm Pick up Eric from LCHS
7:00pm Take Kara to Lanterman Auditorium for drama performance
7:30pm Take the family to see Kara's play

No two days were the same. To make things more exciting, Kristen lost her voice and got a high fever, which turned out to be strep throat, and had to stay in bed for a few days until it died down. Oh, and did I mention that Toby got burned on the back with hot grease while his grandparents where cooking? Now my grandparents have more respect for my mom, who came home from her relaxing vacation in Europe only to have to get up at 6:00 am the next morning to take Eric to waterpolo. But I don’t think they’ll let my Mom and Dad run off to Europe again any time soon.

My family never takes me anywhere. I was stuck at home all year long while they traveled everywhere from Utah to Europe. In January my parent’s took off for a weekend in Las Vegas, and I stayed home with grandparents. Then in February Eric went off to Yosemite with the junior high, and I was still at home. Kara went to camp at Wrightwood in March with the rest of her sixth-grade class, and went on several girl-scout trips, while I sat at home. We had to stay at home over April vacation because dad was teaching. In the summer, mom and dad took off for Europe, leaving us kids with our grandparents. Dad visited a research institute in Bonn, Germany, but they decided to extend their vacation, treating themselves to a Mediterranean cruise and touring Spain, Germany, and Amsterdam. All the while, I was stuck at home.

Then in August, over my 16th birthday (!), I had to stay at home for color guard practices while the rest of the family (including cousins, uncles, and grandparents) spent a week houseboating on Lake Powell. They spent a night in Las Vegas on the way, Toby’s first time gambling; I know, they sent a postcard. Dad didn’t even take me along on any of his business trips to the Netherlands, Mexico, Boston, St. Louis, Rochester, New York City, Milwaukee, Chicago, or Oregon.

They promise to make it up to me in 2000. We’re celebrating the millennium aboard a Mexican-bound cruise ship, leaving the day after Christmas. This time I won’t stay home.

The Murphy Mole
Vol. 2 No. 6
December 25, 2002

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

Not-so-good Tidings

Free Tuition Blues

Trojans and Spartans (and Tigers) . . . oh My!

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

by Kara

After a two-year writer’s strike, the Mole returns! (I bet you thought we just took you off of our Christmas list!) Since our last Mole, we’ve been on 6 cruises (Mom on 7) and house-boating. Kristen and Eric went to Italy with the band, and Mom and Dad have been to Italy, Hong Kong, and Singapore. Not to be left out, Kara went on a trip to Yosemite with her science class and to New Orleans with the band (the planned trip to Prague was cancelled after 9-11). Last summer we took a break from water polo and visited the Duntons in Boston while touring Ivy League colleges.

Our family continues to change. Uncle Mike and Aunt Marianne jumped on the Murphy band-wagon and moved to La Cañada. And, we welcomed Elliot Lang to the family, admiring his courage (and questioning his sanity) for marrying JoAnn’s sister Arlene.

We’re glad to be back in print at last, but with all we’ve been up to we hope you’ll understand. With Kristen in college and Eric leaving to do the same in a few months, we have plenty of room for company, so we look forward to visits! Happy Holidays!

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Not-so-good tidings

by Eric

In Spring 2000, Mom (JoAnn) was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called scleroderma (she had been mis-diagnosed two years earlier with rheumatoid arthritis). Over the past many months, we’ve learned more about this rare and incurable disease than we’ve ever imagined.

Scleroderma is caused by excessive production of collagen and predominately affects women. It tightens the skin, and can cripple the hands and deform the face. Systemic diffuse scleroderma, like Mom’s, also involves organs such as the lungs, heart, and kidneys. For Mom this has meant countless trips every week to different specialists. Until very recently, the disease had a mortality rate of fifty percent over the first five years. During the last few years, a variety of treatments have been successful in prolonging life, but a cure is still in the distant future.

After a hard beginning, Mom’s symptoms subsided and the disease went into a year-long remission. During this time she felt much stronger and was able to take on projects and go on vacations. Unfortunately, Mom is again suffering symptoms of the disease, and is looking forward to her next remission!

The whole family thanks you for your prayers and support.

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Free Tuition Blues

by Kevin

When I moved to California, joining USC to work,
I discovered “free tuition” was included as a perk.
When Kristen was admitted with tuition payments waived
I couldn’t help but smile at the money I had saved.
But subsequent events have somewhat lessened my enjoyment
I’ve learned the costs of having her so close to my employment.

The difficulties started even pre-matriculation
When she asked for my assistance as she went through registration.
She didn’t like her dorm room and asked me to get it changed,
And then asked me to help to get her Internet arranged.

I thought that USC was plenty big enough for two,
Then she declared her major would be in the Business School.
And now she’ll soon be taking classes from my colleague-friends
While her friends take my classes. Oh the fun just never ends.

A necessary lesson when I earned my Ph.D.
Was understanding lunches in this world are never free
My experience with Kristen only proves the proposition
Like lunches, there is clearly no such thing as free tuition.

© © © © © © ©

Now Eric’s off to Princeton and we’re levered to the max
They tell us forty grand a year (and yes, that’s after tax).
So we’ve cancelled our vacation and we’ve refinanced our home.
I’m glad Kristen’s at USC. Please disregard this poem.

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Trojans and Spartans (and Tigers) . . . Oh My!

by Kristen

Since the last Murphy Mole all three of the Murphy kids have learned how to drive; Mom finally gets a break from the carpooling, and it’s a good thing, considering how busy the kids are. Eric (17) is a senior at La Cañada High, and Kara (15) and Kristen (19) are sophomores at the high school and USC, respectively.

Kristen is a Business major in the USC Marshall Honors Program, and serves as Assistant Finance for her sorority, Alpha Chi Omega. She is still dating her high school boyfriend, Brooks (three years and counting).

Eric has been kept busy with college applications, SAT testing and, of course, water polo. He was the captain of the water polo team this fall (as well as the captain of the swim team last spring). His polo career was almost cut short by an orbital blowout fracture to his left eye in September. Luckily he recovered late in the season and his team made it to their division’s semifinals. Despite his stressful academic schedule and extra-curricular activities, Eric has still found time for a girlfriend. Eric was accepted “early decision” to the Princeton Class of 2007, and will be playing water polo next fall for the Princeton Tigers!

Kara dropped band in the fall (to her parents dismay) and spends her time in the pool and on the stage. She is on both the Varsity water polo team and the Varsity swim team. She played a leading role in a recent Drama performance.

Mom and Dad are just as busy as the kids. Dad was recently appointed the E. Morgan Stanley Chair at USC, and mom has become a full-fledged water polo and swim-team groupie, as well as being involved with numerous Scleroderma groups. It’s been a busy year for the Murphys!

The Murphy Mole
Vol. 2 No. 7
December 25, 2003

Season's Greetings

Musings of an Only Child

Fa-la-la-la-la, Blah-blah-blah-blah

Corrections to Prior Articles

Seasons' Greetings

by Kristen

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Musing of an Only Child

by Kara

Some wise guy (I have no clue who) once made the proclamation:
We should treat each aspect of our lives with great appreciation.
For though we wish that we could purge annoyance from our lives,
We'll miss the things we hated when their time to leave arrives.

Kristen went to USC so her life wouldn't change
She knew if she were close to home, life needn't rearrange
So every single weekend she would come back home to stay
How could I start to miss her if she'd never go away?

But last year was as different as it possibly could be:
My brother graduated and became an absentee
For months I never saw him as he studied hard at Princeton,
And this year A-Chi-O has had us seeing less of Kristen.

It took a couple weeks for me to come to the conclusion
That the “Only-Child Perfect-Life” had just been an illusion
I missed our conversations and the good times that we had
Our dinner table's empty with just me, my mom, and dad

But now it's Christmas Break and my old sadness is antique.
I can't believe the pair of them have just been home a week!
My brand-new shirt's been stolen! How do three kids share one car?
I can't believe I wished that they weren't living quite so far!

Ben Franklin is a wise man that I credit for his phrase
That “fish and visitors” begin to “stink in just three days”
I can't agree with Franklin more, the rest of Break looks bleak
They've been home only seven days, but boy, my siblings reek.

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Fa-la-la-la-la, Blah-blah-blah-blah

by Kristen

It has been a hectic year for the Murphy family. As the children begin to go their separate ways they leave the house (but not as quiet as expected). Kristen began her junior year at USC this fall. She spent the previous summer working for a private economic consulting practice. (OK, so she worked for her dad.) She's still happy to be a member of her sorority and is looking forward to law school applications in the fall. Eric graduated from high school in June-what a relief! He spent the summer coaching water polo and working for his dad. In August Eric was off to practice with the Princeton water polo team in Northern California, and then off to Princeton! Kara is now an upper-classman at LCHS! She spent the summer at water polo practices and tournaments.

The fall found Kara an only child for the first time in her life. She occupied her time with Advanced Drama, Varsity water polo, and preparing for her reign as one of five La Cañada Princesses. Kevin was recently appointed Chairman of USC's Finance and Economics Department, and JoAnn enjoys her new role as a “drama mama” for the LCHS Advanced Drama. It's certainly been a fun and eventful year for all the Murphys!

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Corrections to Prior Articles

Though we strive for perfection in our journalistic endeavors, mistakes inevitably occur. We apologize for any confusion this has caused over the past several years, and welcome the opportunity to set the record straight:

o In the article on Eric's post-high school plans, “working in a car wash” should have instead said “majoring in operations research and financial engineering at Princeton.”
o All references to Kara should be changed to “Princess Kara.”
o In the article on USC football, BCS was inadvertently shortened to BS.
o Toby was incorrectly identified as a Doberman Pinscher. Toby is actually a Bichon Frise. And she is a he.
o The Murphys have not, as reported, switched to PCs and Windows (see below).
o Kristen's ambitions are “legal studies” and not “legal problems” as earlier reported.
o Alpha Chi Omega is actually a sorority at USC, and not a Christian bookstore.
o In the article on Kevin's appointment as department chairman, his quote “It's a pleasure to serve my university” incorrectly contained a reference to hell freezing over.
o The reference in this issue to JoAnn's e-mail address is not a typo. She really does have one. Maybe hell did freeze over.

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The Murphy Mole
Vol. 2 No. 8
December 25, 2004

Deck the Halls with Roses?

Underachievement Bereavement

Princess Diaries

Corrections to Prior Articles

Deck the Halls with Roses

by Kristen

It's all about Kara this year. Oh well. I graduate from USC. With high honors. And a high-paying job. Eric's water polo team went to the NCAA Final Four, and he is still doing well at Princeton. Mom is healthier than she's been in years. Dad had a big promotion (to Vice Dean of Faculty), and made national press with a major case. But, it's all about the Princess. You know, the Royal Pain. Made the Rose Court. Big part in the school play. Water polo star. Got into Princeton early. Whatever.

We spent time on our new houseboat on Lake Powell this summer, and everyone but Kara took a Caribbean cruise over spring break. But these family vacations have been recently over-shadowed by diamonds, pearls, and roses. We'd like to again extend an offer to all family and friends to visit us in the coming year, but please don't bother us until after January 1st.

On second thought, make that January 4th. Mom and Dad plan to red-eye it out of town following the New Year's hoop-la to catch USC in the Orange Bowl. Go Trojans!

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Underachievement Bereavement

by Kevin

The children in our house are like the flies who ruin ointment:
They complicate our lives and usher bitter disappointment.
Since Christmas is the natural time for looking back and grieving
I offer this sad tribute to our kids, underachieving.

Kristen's twenty-one years old but hasn't learned to drink
And still won't drive a car unless we buy her one that's pink.
I suppose she'll finish college with a sparkling GPA
And work before pursuing a JD or MBA
But her “drink and driving” problem clearly lessens the enjoyment
We get from her successes and post-graduate employment.

When coming for Thanksgiving, Eric sported a new beard
His mother cried until he shaved, insisting it looked weird.
The major that he picked is tough (financial engineering)
And his Princeton polo team's success has everybody cheering
And, yes, he's working very hard, it's clear each time we phone him
But if we see that beard again, we swear that we'll disown him.

Last and prob'ly least is the one known as Princess Kara
Who's basically dropped out of school since donning that tiara.
She spends more time on makeup then she spends attending classes
And though she does her homework,
it's through Rose-Bowl-colored glasses
“Why study Harry Truman when I'm wearing Harry Winston?”
I guess it's good she was admitted early into Princeton.

So there it is, we've laid it out, we can't conceal our shame
“The trio was adopted” has become our steadfast claim
As parents it is hard to cope when children go astray
But it's Christmas time so we'll pretend to love them anyway.

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Princess Diaries

by Princess Kara

On September 25th, 930 young women waited in line for hours for the first interview for the 2005 Tournament of Roses Royal Court. Each week the pool narrowed as fewer girls were called back for more interviews. Finally, on October 18th, crowds and media gathered to watch as seven girls were selected out of thirty-four finalists. The announcement was followed by a one-week crash course in etiquette, poise, and speech. The court received a wardrobe that mix-and-matches into almost thirty matching outfits, a gown for the Rose Parade designed by Tadashi, and over $3,000 worth of pearls from Mikimoto, the designer of the crown and tiaras (no, Kara won't be keeping the $45,000 tiara… Dad's too cheap to buy it).

The Royal Court was selected for speaking ability, personality, and confidence and was NOT a beauty pageant (as my family was quick to point out). In just over two months, the Royal Court attends almost 130 events, including visits to hospitals, civic groups, nursing homes, and a trip on the Goodyear Blimp, attending school only once or twice a week. At most of these events, the Court makes speeches about themselves, their experience on the Court, and the Tournament of Roses. The Princesses also play hostesses to the Rose Bowl football teams, welcoming them to Southern California with a trip to Disneyland, hospital visits, and dinners (the famous Lawry's Beef Bowls). Be sure to watch the Tournament of Roses Parade on New Year's morning!

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Corrections to Prior Articles

Once again the staff of the Murphy Mole would like to expel the rumors and correct the inevitable mistakes that occur in previous publications. We apologize in advance for your reliance on any material misrepresentation, and hope to now set the record straight:

o The Princeton men's water polo team did not lose to the La Cañada girl's team as earlier reported, but rather to National Champion UCLA in overtime at the NCAA final four.
o All references to new cars, cruises, and vacations should be changed to “Pay for dual Princeton tuition.”
o “JoAnn loses it” referred to pounds, not her mind.
o It was correctly stated that the Murphys nearly sunk their houseboat on its maiden voyage. But as Dad says “Oh well, sunk cost.”
o Kevin's modeling career did not only begin at “Men About Town” with his runway debut, it also ended.
o All Rose-Bowl references to Cal should be changed to Texas.
o Kevin's new position is Vice Dean, not Dean of Vice.
o Kristen's signing bonus was received from rather than paid to the Cornerstone Research consulting firm.
o The story about Eric's social life inadvertently referred to his affection for Swiss cheese (instead of Swiss girlfriend).

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